I'm moving my updates to a different blog, http://www.farah-faisal.blogspot.com, since it's an easier address to remember and spell. It's been a great ride updating this blog, hope you'll follow me on to the next chapter!

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

Today: penat gile gile gile.. why? let's see.... 10.30 pagi sampai 12.30 tgh hari, kelas EECS 376... now I know for certain I have the attention of a 2-year-old on a sugar-based diet... takleh nak concentrate dalam kelas!!!! I get fidgety, and then sleepy, it'll be like an hour before class ends and I'll already be looking at my watch, sheesh. Okay, anyway, today did NOT start well at all. I went out with my white blouse (the one with the flower neckline, hehe), tudung peach, blue jeans, and a pair of blue Esprit strappy high heels, because I felt like looking reasonably nice today. Alih-alih.... hujan. Dah lah tadek coat, menapak balik tgh2 hujan with my high heels on and my mood very, very off. Anyway, sampai kat room, tried going to sleep but alas, to no avail. I wanted to get some rest sebab kol 4 kene "masak lemak", tanak lah gie masak lemak penat-penat.
4 o'clock came... and guess what... mase dalam bas nak gie central lah baru mate gile nak lelap... chett.... dah kene pakse mate bukak. Anyway, 2 jam masak lemak, pastu balik terus gie NCRB join bebudak main indoor soccer ( saje je gatal ), then kol 8 main basket jap. Uisshh... betape tak kuatnye stamina saye bile baru setengah jam dah penat gile... dah lah tuh, bontot besar sgt sampai nak kejar org pon slalu tak sempat. Anyway, hari nie seluar koyak... sebab slide atas gym floor. Pulak dah. Lagi tak best: lutut scraped sket, takdelah sampai luke besar, but pedih gak lah nak mandi,boo-hoo....
Okay, dah kol doblas... setelah main-main from kol 4 petang sampai dekat 9 malam... me need SLEEP.... zzz....

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Tuesday, April 29, 2003

First day of class for the spring term.. not bad, actually. I had EECS 376 at 10.30 till 12.30, then it's off to Central Campus to get my blood taken out ( kesian orang tak makan tau since semalam sampai kol 1 tadik sebab die soh fasting before the sample is taken ). After that, balik bilik, makan chicken wings, slept for about half an hour, and then gie balik central for my second class of the day: American Culture 340 -- African American Cinematic Experience. Hehe.. basically what we're supposed to do was watch films in class, discuss, and turn in 2 papers, one worth 40% of the grade, the other 60%. Our textbook: the script to "The Matrix". Hahaha... sonok, plus one of the film assignment is to watch "The Matrix: Reloaded". Woo-hoo....watching pop culture movies for credit sound like my kind of course. We watched Spike Lee's "Bamboozled" just now, which I find quite difficult to watch because the racism and stereotype in the film was really thick, and the film seemed a bit too preachy. Plus the swear-word abundancy in it did not help matters one bit. But it did helped me understand more about the stereotype surrounding african american people, though I did stay after class to ask Prof. Boyd about some stuff that I didn't quite grasp.

Can't wait for "The Matrix: Reloaded" to come out, but don't get me wrong, it's purely for..ermm.. academic reasons. After all, it is part of my assignment ( muahahaha... and pigs are flying through the air right now hitting everyone's windshields.. samak samak ). Currently, I have "Smallville" tuned on, uikk... mamat Clark tuh dah pandai tunjuk bontot skang, muahahaha.... arghh!! My eyes, my eyes.... are perfecty fine, hahaha....

I have to finish setting up my room, and then finish my reading assignment for my EECS class.. ho-hum... okay, ciao! Assalamu'alaikum...

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Monday, April 28, 2003

Penat penat penat... nie bangun awal pon sebab nak kene mandi and then head on to doctor's appointment for my medical check up ( hope nothing's wrong ). Semalam pindah barang sume masuk bilik baru for spring and summer. Pukul doblas tgh hari amek U-Haul, pindah barang sume, pukul sepuluh baru siap. Tuh baru siap pindah tuh, bukan nye siap kemas bilik. Hehehe... anyway, sonok drive U-Haul keliling Baits 1 & 2, even though memule tuh rase sgt2 tak used to the fact yang gear die kate steering wheel instead of the normal spot. Hahaha... jenuh lah nak maneuver truck gabak tuh ( 10 feet nye truck, relatively gabak to the normal cars I drive ), nak kasi die dekat dengan pintu masuk Ziwet House so senang nak bawak masuk barang besar. Thanks Acap sebab tolong sewekan truck, and thanks Bob sebab drivekan truck balik ( muahaha, senirik tamau drive sebab tadek lesen, takoooottt... ) Hehe.. macam biase barang byk punggah senirik ngan Teh and Nanim mase kat Ziwet ( couch gabak nak mati tapi ahamdulillah survive jugak ) , tapi bile dah sampai Eaton House, ade org yg sgt2 baik hati tolong bawakkan certain stuff naik. Thank you to Hafiz, Apoo and Sharence sebab tulun bawak naik fridge, and tengkiu banyak2 Azwan, Jebai ngan Izham sebab tolong letakkan couch kat lounge Eaton ( couch biru tuh orang punye tau, jangan amek, letak situ sebab tak muat letak dalam bilik ), and thanks to Diba and Bulan sebab same-same tolong saye hantar U-Haul balik ( on the way balik dengar cerite orang langgar ruse kat Indiana.. I am so never gonna drive in Indiana during fall ). Sekarang tgk bilik, still macam tempat pusat pendatang haram lagik, tapi malas lah nak kemas dulu, penat penat penat.....

Hari nie wat ape? Hmm... doctor's appointment, then CCRB sebab nak daftar kelas "memasak lemak", then balik download Sim's Family yang baru. Baru perasan my family stok jenis yang dibuat before breakup, so pepaham je lah mase tuh mentality kat mane. Sayang lah jugak nak delete sebab family dah kaye gile ( ever bathroom ade jacuzzi, rumah ade game room siap pool table and pinball machine, TV yang paling gabak, kat luar ade children's playground, another hot tub and the most expensive BBQ grill ), but bosan lah plak sebab die dah kaye, so takde mende sgt dah nak wat. This time nak start off ngan a single person dulu, then baru soh die kawen, hahahah.... ade jugak harapan kawen ngan Ahmad Kambings nie.

Okeh, mau mandi and make myself look reasonably kemas, so bubbye and assalamu'alaikum...

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Saturday, April 26, 2003

I feel so, so sleepy... last night ajar Teh camane nak main The Sim's House Party. Hehe... ingat lagi main game tuh kat umah, there was this one time mase bulan puase, main Sim's Family from malam sampai lah ke sahur... punye lah addicted... but anyway, name character yang kitorang cipte semalam is Ahmad Kambings ( Teh nak name die camtuh, hahaha.. ). Sonok ler main Sims... tapi before that, kitorang main Neopets punye game kat Neopets punye website. Game sgt2 macam budak-budak, tapi semalam gelak macam nak pecah perut. Ade satu game nie, keje die is to baling mende yang macam bear besar tuh dengan snowball before bear tuh baling kite. Makin tinggi level, bear makin banyak. Tapi semalam ntah camane ntah, boleh terbaling kawan sendiri. Kesian lah kawan tuh pusing pening-pening atas ais. Tapi kelakar tengok die pening. I know, I know, ape hal lah budak nie suke main game budak-budak, tapi dah suke, nak wat camane? Sonok lerrr....

Anyway, tadi tgh hari gie makan kat Shalimar ngan Teh and Nanim. Sampai-sampai aje, the place was packed, kene tunggu jap. Jumpe Mendeng kat situ, decided to makan sesame sebab senang sket nak dapat table. Saw some other Malaysians kat situ jugak, some celebrating graduation and some sesaje je dtg ( macam kitorang lah ). Dapat table, makan macam besok tuh nak kene hantar gie Somalia, sume bende nak sapu. Ye lah, kate lapar gile, save perut from pagi, dah lah buffet mahal. Food die macam biase lah... ayam tandoori, ayam masala, lamb kurma, roti nan.... a whole bunch of other stuff... plus desserts ( oh, and they're halal, heheh... saye belom katok lagi (alhamdulillah) , somehow kurang boleh nak bring myself to accept wholly arguments pasal boleh ke tak makan daging kat negare "ahli kitab", lagipun yang terang2 halal banyak lagik, so belum darurat ). Mase kitorang datang, ade satu family nie from India conquer satu restoran, siap bagi speech sume. Wahhh... kaye nye boleh bawak mak, bapak, atuk, nenek, adik, abang, kakak, adek nenek, abang atuk, tukang kebun, kawan jiran sume datang Michigan tengok die graduate. Anyway, Mendeng kene balik awal sebab kene keje, so tinggal lah kitorang 3 orang. Sepanjang-panjang makan lepas tuh, asyik gelak je keje, sume bende nak gelak. Cite pasal kawan baik, pasal budak kecik pakai baju lip lap macam nak kawin.... mat salleh tengok kitorang sure ingat kitorang tgh high sebab sikit sikit gelak, tak pasal-pasal gelak...

Balik from makan, kitorang singgah kedai buku, tengok text books for spring and summer, then masuk kedai baju jap (tengok aje), pastu balik.... Nanim singgah bilik kitorang nak main Sim's House Party, die buat character die senirik.. name character: Cinta binti Abu. Pulak dah. Kesian si Cinta tuh, rumah sume tak lengkap, nak makan pon kene berdiri.

Haaa... nie ade dialog menarik between due orang "fictional" character... sorang kite bagi name Miss Cafe, sorang lagi Hello Kitty. Ade sorang lagi nie, Toh Puan Saye, tgh duduk seblah Miss Cafe, Hello Kitty depan die , and diorang tgh cakap pasal sorang mamat nie yang bukan berbangse Melayu....

Miss Cafe: Orang melayu takde ek hidung yang macam tu.
Hello Kitty: Ade lah...
Miss Cafe: Siape?
Hello Kitty: orang bangla.
Miss Cafe: ( pusing tengok Toh Puan Saye dgn muke eyot ) Bile mase lah pulak orang bangla masuk jadi org melayu nie...


Muahahaha.... nasib baik Toh Puan tak makan mase tuh, ade jugak tersembur kuar jadi missile kene kepale orang depan. Cik Hello Kitty lupe geography.. hehe...

Okeh, okeh, besok nak pindah umah, so nak gie packing barang... ciao and assalamu'alaikum...

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Friday, April 25, 2003

Ooohhh.... new picture on top! Hehe... decided to pay tribute to the girls in my batch here in Michigan. Love all of you gals!! Anyway, I just got back from this year's graduation dinner. Wait.. wait... backtrack sket... so anyway, petang tadi a bunch of us pegi Lee House nak masak mee kari. We went there around 1 o'clock, masak masak masak, I decided to go home kol lime sebab it seemed like the bulk of the stuff yang nak kene wat macam dah settle. So I went back, decided to paste some pictures together to put on my blogger, mandi, make-up, then kol tujuh, gie Pierpont Commons dengan Teh for the dinner . Sampai sane, dengar the seniors bagi speech, then makan. Food was great: ade mee kari, kuey teow, bihun goreng, pengat pisang..... malang nye tak cukup utensils, but we made do with what we had, heheh :) . Anyway, Deeran and Kirah decided to give an impromptu performance ( Kirah played the guitar while Deera sang "I Don't Like To" by Leann Rimes, then they did their famous rendition of "More Than Words" ). Hehehe... tengok derang perform reminded me of how I loved being on stage dulu, but that's all over now, hahaha.... I don't think I'll get the chance again. Anyway, lepas dinner, there was a picture taking frenzy ( hey, all of us had killer outfits ), and then balik (well, actuallynye me, Nanim ngan Teh lambat sket nak balik sebab amek gambar kat tepi painting ) . Oh, but there was a piano at the lounge, so I main a song ( Farzad berenti tanye "Apsal tadi tanak main? " .... hehehe... kite low profile lerr... ) lepas rindu jap, then went out, elok-elok mase bas sampai. And now I'm here.... man I suck at telling stories, I'm sure half of you guys are asleep already.

Semalam I had a wonderful phone call from Myn :) .... thanks girl. Saje je Myn call, kitorang borak-borak about stuff, I told her the latest gossip about STF and basically takled about.... stuff ( alah, takkan sume nak gitau kot... privacy ciket). Borak ngan Liyana lagik, this time lebih around religious stuff ( man, there's so many things that I don't know... nak kene belajar nie ), and pastu tido. Oh, had a pipe disaster in the bathroom jugak, forgot to mention that.

Malam nie wat ape? Packing packing.... sebab hari Ahad nak move out dah.... so for the whole summer nie, anybody outside Michigan yang have my phone number, jangan gune that number tau. I'm moving back in here during fall, but summer dapat bilik baru. So sabar ye... nanti org gitau phone number ape and stuff.

Okay.. me sleepy and thirsty.... ciao and assalamu'alaikum....

p/s: forgot... dah ade link baru... Ninjai, The Little Ninja ..... love love love the animation.. thank you to Hafizul for introducing this to me...

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Thursday, April 24, 2003


Okay, okay... I so, so swear I did NOT do this, even I was never that bored, hahaha... and trust me, if it was me, sure kenekan kekawan senirik... this one was sent to me by a certain guy who dah waaaaay too much time on his hands zaman cuti yang lampau. Anyway, I dah dapat from tuan punye peng"edit" gambar to put this in my blogspot..... ahh, the wonders of technology, hehe... lupe lak.. original die belah kanan....

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Ooh.. did a few changes on the right scroll box.. letak lagu baru ( love Dishwalla, this is still my favorite song out of all of their songs even though lagu nie dah lame ). Also added a few blog links, a link to a qur'an recitation site ( curtesy of Diba ) and to Liquid Generation ( just because I loved playing Demonic Osbournes mase tgh bosan ).

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Hmm.. smalam tido lambat, joli sakan kejap sebab exam dah habes. Tengok TV memanjang, and decided to catch up with my "reality TV" homework, heheh.... First up tengok American Idol. As predicted, Carmen got booted out. So blonde count for next AI shows: nada! Uishh.. two blondes in a row, how ironic. Carmen's cute and all, but the rest are better singers. Next week, sape yang kene tendang, either Trenyce or Joshua Gracin. Trenyce dah slalu kene jalan "the bottom three walk of death", on the other hand her voice is pretty amazing. Josh has a great voice, too, though, though when he sucks, he really do sound not so good. Loved his rendition of "Amazed". So next week nye performance sangat-sangat key, I'm excited to watch. Oh, and who else yang akan masuk bottom three? Kimberley Locke, even though her voice sangat-sangat power, but Ruben and Clay are the crowd favorites, so I think they can still sit pretty and be safe. What else did I do? Oh, watched The Bachelor, a millionaire yang sangat-sangat buduh by the name of Andrew Firestone. Why I think die buduh: die gie kick off the girls yang nampak sangat comfy dengan die, I think sebab die rase "Oh, it's TOO comfortable, so it can't be love, we're just friends". Oi busuk, good relationships should be based on friendship lah. And it annoys me week by week tengok him keeping Kirsten in the picture. So takdelah exited sangat nak tengok next week sebab sume pompuan interesting dah tadek.

So what else did I do ? Chat ngan Myn and Liyana jap, Liyana cite pasal practical training die, and how skang nie kene ade qualifications lain kalau nak naik the corporate ladder in M'sia: kene tau Mandarin (and she's a comp engineer major in UTM ). Uikk... but the gov kasik incentive RM500 per month nak belajar Mandarin, so maybe not that bad lah. Takut jugak, tapi Liyana kate US grads selamat lagik, so tgk camane bile balik mesia nanti, hehe. Called my friend Bantut smalam and got to borak with Deelart, and dgr cite terbaru STF and what really happened last gathering. Myn!! Better call me makcik if you wanna know the scoop, heheh... smalam org baru nak kasi phone number yang die mintak, die dah offline, lerrrrrr.....

Ade orang tanye, the AIM thing kat kotak belah kanan tuh ape. Well, if you have the AOL instant messenger, you can click that, a chatbox comes out and you can instantly message me, takyah nak add dalam buddyList ke ape... ta-da! hahaha... I like AIM, sebab buleh add orang and tengok derang nye profiles and stuff, and orang tuh tatau, hehehe.. buleh spy. Unfortunately, I have no one to spy on, so it's wasted on me, I just have AIM nak keep in touch with Jennifer ngan Tina, Dave pulak nak kasi die nye screen name so that we can chat during the summer, tapi hari tuh die lupe nak kasik and I lupe nak mintak. Oopsy..

Wow, dah kol 10.15 pagi, have to call housing office and UHS ( buat medical check-up ). Ta-ta, assalamu'alaikum and have a good day to sesape yang larat bace this to the end....

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Wednesday, April 23, 2003

At last, the semester is finally finished.. phew... seperti yang dijangka, I couldn't answer all of the questions, bleurghhh.... there goes my dream in doing a double degree.... but we'll see... maybe I can still make it alive yet, hehe... something tells me that I didn't get the job at the front desk, boo-hoo... probably because they want people who can work full time and I can't do that since I'm taking classes and all ... well, maybe they'll consider me for the Fall or Winter term.. but this means no buying a car for me this summer... boo-hoo again. But anyway, I'm hoping to get a TA position teaching EECS 183, heheh... that's like basic C++... I loved that course, and since I did pretty good in 280, I'm hoping they would consider me. Well, I can only hope, if that's a paying position, then all the better, isn't it? Keskeskes.... I still remember my 183 TA, man, he was baadddd.... like he didn't know half of the materials and we were the ones who had to correct him in class.. hopefully I won't end up like that. Why is it that I'm so into positions that requires me to speak to people ( front desk, TA... )? Hopefully it'll help me build my confidence in situations when I'm around a lot of people. I freak easy when people look at me and I'm expected to say something, and my mind usually goes blank and always end up either saying something completely lame, ... or something completely annoying ( which is worse ).

Semalam borak ngan Cik Liyana Razali... I stumbled upon her website when I visited Bal's... heheh... she's funny... and she tricked me!!! Malas nak cite what the trick was.. but at least I know Myn fell for it like a ton of bricks too, hehehe... anyway, I find Liyana's website to be quite insightful, very different. We only managed to talk for a while, since I had exams and all, but it was fun all the same. But something tells me that she knew about me long before I knew about her... hmm... hey Liyana, if you ever read this, is it true? Muahaha... Lupe nak tanye die pasal Pisang (okay, save cite pasal Pisang some other day ) and all of my other Jasin friends in my matrix days ( I remember Wani....and Hakim I knew from primary... ).

Hmm.. fenin kepale lah jap... tak cukup titon... dah lah baru flunk exam... oh, lupe lak, ade orang tanye "Apsal blogger ko ade missing entry? Ade orang cakap ko tulis ape ntah bile aku tgk takde pon.." ... hahaha... truth is, there are certain things that I write in my blog and then delete simply because I feel the message has been conveyed and buat ape nak tayang bende tuh lame-lame sebab I'm pretty certain orang yang dimaksudkan dah bace pon.. ( kalau belum then nasiblah ek.. hehe.. bende dah delete ). So rather than biar menyemak kat situ sebab satu ayat aje pun... delete and continue on about me, muahaha... alah, penah je delete entry lain before ( one entry yang sgt2 macam buat pesta mencarut... I deleted that one and promised myself that no matter how angry I get, no four letter F words shall enter my mind again... hopefully.. pleasssseee..... ). So don't be too surprised if the whole deleting episode happens again ...

Entry dah mak datuk panjang..... me need to go and solat and then watch my favorite guy on TV.... Eric Foreman....

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Anothe 4 hours more to go till my last exam of the semester.... really, really scared because this is my worst class ever ( and I mean ever in the history of me being in Michigan ). I know I'm not gonna be able to answer the questions anyway, so all I can do is hope that my effort is worth a B. Well, at least I'm comforted with the fact that I already have an A in EECS 280, and since is the one course that I really wanted to score, I'm happy :) . As I always do at the end of the term, I always write a thank you email to the professors/TAs/GSIs who I feel had helped me the most. I haven't done so for these two courses yeet, but I did write to Andy saying thank you (Andy is my discussion GSI ), and the reply really lifted my spirits:

Thanks for the praise... It really makes me feel good to know that I'm
accomplishing something up in front of you guys. By the way, you were one of
the only students who came to Office Hours with actual questions about
course material and a desire to learn... and for that, I thank _you_ :-)
Good luck with the rest of your schooling and have a great summer...

-Andy Gossard


Isn't that sweet? Usually I get simple replies like "You're welcome" and the just a short message, but this is the best so far, hehe...Okay, I'm really scared for my math exam, so I better go now and continue reading....

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Tuesday, April 22, 2003

Why do I always have to find out bad things, or bad things happen to me, right before my exams? Did I suddenly exude an aura or something during those times? Really... I hate it when crap like that happens. Yesterday I had my EECS 203 exam, it was tougher than I thought, so I'm not sure how I did. At this point I'd be grateful for a B, even though I really liked that class. After the exam, I went out to dinner with Jennifer at China Gate, our last time eating out together since she's going home today. We talked about stuff, like our plans for the summer and her current dating situation, and curiously enough, we talked about betrayal. Hmm.... I didn't dare to divulge that much information to her, but basically we were trading stories and stuff. So after dinner, she came back to my room and we watched the American Idol special together. I seriously think Carmen is gonna get booted out next, 'cause she should have been last week instead of Kimberly. And due to lack of sleep last night ( I always can't sleep when things bother me ), I went to bed really early and woke up just about 5 minutes ago. Have to study for my exam tomorrow, I know it's gonna be a killer.

Kemarin ade borak dengan a friend, and die mention something pasal "kawan and rebound". Hmm? Tapi lepas tuh line putus, so die tak sempat nak elaborate sgt. Though I do know what you mean about die being a rebound guy, I mean, punye lame girl tuh kapel ngan org lain ( 4 ke 5 tahun ), then ntah camane break, alih-alih tak sampai sebulan dah jumpe baru. Uikk.... my friend kate budak tuh dok jauh ngan the girl, I have no idea dah jumpe ke belum, but I still say, yep, rebound guy. Kalau derang tak penah jumpe, lagi lah org kate mmg definitely rebound guy. Kesian jugak kat guys kengkadang (kengkadang jek), girl tuh layan die siket je, cakap sayang siket je, dah ingat "Oh, that's the love of my life" ( well, girls pun pk camtuh jugak a lot of times, so the situation works both ways ). Having been in that place before, kalau boleh I want to be more careful next time orang sweet talk. But back to the whole rebound thing. Yang girl tuh pon satu. Takde care lain ke nak cope with the loss than hook up ngan org lain? I don't see how a guy can be the solution to a guy problem. No matter how sweet that person is, 4 years tuh lame, how can you be so sure yang what you feel for this new guy is really true, bukan saki-baki what you felt for the ex, and bukan sebab you felt lonely and tetibe dtg lah the sweet talker... I never believe in rebound anything, guy, girl, or something in between. It's like playing with a time bomb. What I'm curious right now, sape lah due orang manusie yang my friend mention tuh. Secretive sangat. But whatever it is, having rebound relationships are never good. Being the rebound person.. lagi lah tak gune. May I never have to be in that position.

Hmm.. as Alice in Wonderland said " Curiouser and curiouser...." ( that's not even in the dictionary), but privacy is privacy, I respect that. As for me, I wouldn't really trust a guy yang baru je break off ngan someone yang he had been with a long time. Cool off dulu ler kot ye pun... maybe a month or 2, but less than a month? As Jennifer likes to say "That's just crap".

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Monday, April 21, 2003

EECS 203 exam in another 45 minutes... damn scared.... to Bantut, be strong girl, hopefully it'll all be better soon.... really, guys should know which things/words/people are off limits and which are not.... so sorry...

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Sunday, April 20, 2003

Hmm.. pelik-pelik.. tadi lame gile takleh nak log on to my MSN messenger.... dulu dah penah jadik tah camnie... but I biar jek for a day, the it's okay... tapi yang nie takleh sebab nak kene bagitau bende urgent kat orang... I was so surprised... sebab die tetibe ter ssign-off senirik... lagi menarik, bile try nak sign balik, die tak kasik.... bile try bukak my inbox, die kate byk kali sgt try nak access the account with the wrong password, so die deny access temporarily. Pulak dah. So I reset my password ( if you can call it that... still password lame ) in order to get my account back... nasib baik boleh... uisshh... sape lah manusia/menatang yang try nak hack akaun org nie... tuh je yang I can figure out sebab org tuh sure main agak je my password, buat byk2 kali, last2 access denied... chett... or it can just be messenger bangang... but that's a different story altogether....

Hehe.. jgn try nak hack account orang unless your purpose is to get me pissed....

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MARI AMEK LAGI SATU QUIZ JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT
Mase tuh gatal-gatal, sonok amek quiz... anyway, tried this one "What kind of girlfriend are you? ".. muahaha... no, I didn't cheated on the quiz, wonder how I got the result ( ntah2 sume org camtuh.. chett... ), since I answered this question:" What kind of conversation do you and your boyfriend have?" with this answer: "Emotional, sometimes I end up crying" .... which is true.. hehe...
No time for boys now, too much stuff to do... work work... but it's true that I did just enjoy being around my exes, just being there andd hang out... but I don't think I'm tomboyish, so I dunno...

You're Perfect ^^
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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MARI AMEK QUIZ DEKAT WEBSITE IJAT
nerdslut
Nerdslut


What's your sexual appeal?
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No, I don't look good in glasses... and hell I have no "wallflower charns"...

Saturday, April 19, 2003

Haaa... and now... my current AIM profile....:

=====================================
Sape ingat lagu nie...

ade seorang kawan, namanya Ah Seng,
dia juga, berkawan, namanya Muthu,
kami berkawan baik, sama sedarjah,
belajar, bersama, main bersama....

hey hey hey ( 2 kali),
tiga sekawan...
( ulang rangkap terakhir 2 kali )

==============farah's===================

Keskeskes... lagu belajar mase darjah satu, or due, tak ingat... lagu tuh obviously for budak laki ( mase tuh mane main laki kawan pompuan, pompuan kawan laki, sume nak kawan same jenis jek), tapi cikgu main bantai suruh sume orang nyanyi.... apsal lagu nie lekat kat otak: sebab mase tuh talent show, cikgu amek ramai2 budak buat boria, and me... hehehe.. watashi selamat from kene pakai baju merah bunge putih sebab cikgu kasik score soh main piano accompany budak... muahahaha.... score senang jek... mmg khas untuk dimain oleh budak2.... hehehe... teringat dulu kalau talent show sure kene main piano, penah skalik je main kastenet, tapi mase tuh sebab satu kelas kene buat mini-orkestra, and ade due tige kali nyanyi ( lagu sume English... except sekali kene pakai kostum and nyanyi lagu betik ... urgh... freaky ) ... hahaha... adoi lah zaman budak-budak..... memory paling best, mase tadika... mase tuh masuk nasyid, jadik solo tuh ( wuuhh... mase tuh bangge tak ingat ), tapi ustazah pesan soh praktis mase rehat... tapi mase die cakap tuh mane dengar sebab sume org tgh sebok nak gie rehat... last2 tengok2 tak cukup 3 orang: me and another two girls. Ustazah carik punye carik, last-last jumpe kitorang kat padang.... tgh main bola sepak ngan due tige budak pompuan lain ngan budak laki jugak ( hahahaha... mase tuh tak paham konsep lagik... cube bayangkan kitorang dengan tudung putih, baju putih, kain hijau, singsing kain main bola sepak... gile.. ). Hehehe.... ustazah panggil masuk dalam kelas praktis nasyid, nasib je tak kene jerit sebab die tuh garang.... Paling best, besok tuh time die ngajar, die ajar kejap je, pastu die soh kitorang main bola sepak depan kelas... sume orang, tak kisah laki ke pompuan... hahaha... I have no idea apsal die wat camtuh. Waaa... ape lagik, main sampai habes mase rehat... last-last bile balik rumah kene marah ngan nenek sebab kain sume penuh debu ( sebab depan kelas bukan padang, tanah lapang, nasib tak jatuh sebab tadek rumput nak tahan ) .

Bile time pertandingan nasyid tuh sampai, kitorang dapat nomor due... yang menang tuh baju lip lap gile, macam model mini Musulman... siap ade labuci kat tudung sume ( I didn't remember about the costume, tapi hari tuh balik rumah jumpe gambar mak amek mase sume pemenang posing atas pentas. Nampak kitorang sgt2 selebet sebab pakai baju skolah jek ). Hadiah pemenang nomor due: pencil box ( which I still have kat umah ), pensel ngan pemadam ( which I don't have ) dengan coloring book ( which I remember having dulu sebab abang suke sorok ). Yang pelik, die kasi coloring book, pensel kaler tadek, nak soh orang kaler ngan pensel ke ape, buat black and white. Nasib mase tuh tgh "baby kesayangan bapak" ( skang pon... ngehehehe ), bapak belikan pensel kaler spesel sebab nak kaler buku. Ingat lagi, pensel kaler Luna yang ketot tuh, ade semilan kaler je kot kat dalam, punye sayang sampai kedekut nak kasi orang pinjam.

Alahai.... kan best jadi budak-budak...

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Tgk gambar, baru sedar betape tak photogenic nye saye.. takpe2.... nak kasi sedap ati, tampal bebanyak kat blogger, heheh :P .... bile tgk2 bebetul, gambar yang paling kiri tuh nampak lain sgt compare to gambar yg. lain, ntah apesal tatau. From left: taken in Florida; BBQ ; apple picking ; before pegi beraye kat umah Nizam; Thanksgiving.

Waaa... sakit perut!!!

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Friday, April 18, 2003

Decided to change the song and the pic.. heheh.... I wasn't exactly a big fan of Take That ( I was nuts for Boyzone, damn the boyband era ), but I think this song happens to be very sweet. I was a sucker for Take That's "Back For Good", if a guy sings that to me, I'll be his forever ( heheheh... yeah, I know it's silly, but I do love that song ). I love the melody of "Back For Good", and somehow the song seemed, I dunno, kinda sincere to me... that the guy realized that he made a mistake and that sometimes what we have is what we want after all. of course, that never is the case in real life, but it's a nice thought to bear in mind, whether you're optimistic, jaded, or just plain scared of being hurt again. I guess I chose "Never Forget" because I feel that ever since I first laid foot on American soil, I've had so many experiences that will always be permanently etched in my mind, and while not all of them are good, they're not all bad either. I've made friends, I've lost contact with some, I've hurt friends and have been hurt by friends, I've met different kinds of interesting people that have broadened my perspective ( and in turn, I think in a way, I have broadened theirs too ), I've loved and had my heart broken so that I learn something else new... picking up the pieces. I've been good, I've been bad, only to discover that I really do want to be a good girl, for me, not for anyone else. I've worked and I took a break from work and learned that I prefer working and earn cash.. heheh....

Dave introduced me to this photographer friend of his, who is really cool, and we just started talking about stuff. His work is really good, and he asked me how the US changed me, if I change at all. I told him that America didn't change me, it's the experiences that I had here that showed me so many things and at the same time, show me that there are many more things that are left to be discovered. I told him what I really want is something that reminds me of who I was and who I am, just so that I can see if I'm moving forward or am I still stuck in a hole . He offered his help, saying that nothing really tells a story better than pictures. He told me to rack up as many old pictures that I can during the summer, and when fall comes, maybe we can some sort of a "time line" for me. Hehehe... hope he wasn't just saying that, it would really be cool to have pictures of me then and now, because my picture collection is all over the place. Maybe I can even send a copy back home for my family to remember me by...

Talking about pictures, tadi bosan study, so I stiched up a few pics of me, hehehe... currently working on a collage that includes friends and family, but that's gonna take a long time still... *sigh*....

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Currently at the MU, bored macam nak mampos, but I have to study math in order not to fail... chett... I had to trick myself to coming back here by leaving my backpack and other stuff here so that I have to come back and get them ( went back home just now to watch "The Bold and The Beautiful" ... please don't ask why ) I bought a no. 9 at the McD just now, and I actually won something, haha... which is weird because this is the first time I bought anything there ( except coffee ) ever since the contest started. What did I win: a regular size lunch/dinner meal .... how exciting ( ho hum... sniff sniff ).

Semalam I went to Prof. Pollack's office hours, the last one for the semester. Boo-hoo... she's really nice, one of the few profs that I actually like going to her office hours, kalau yang lain sume carik GSI. Heheh... anyway, I was expecting a lot more people there since the exam is on Monday and all, tapi tgk2 ade due org jek, me and this other guy. Well, takpe2... org lain sume pandai. Anyway, prof. bagitau yg structural induction tak masuk ek-zem, and die kate tanak bagitau org lain, sebab org lain malas nak gie office hour, hehehe... tapi sebab sayang kawan punye pasal, aku gitau Kirah.. muahahaha... so kirenye dalam lecture tuh, ade 3 orang je yg tau structural induction tak masuk exam...unless diorang dapat tau from lecture lain lah.. hehehe... oh crap, malam nie kene ingat gitau Seng Fatt jugak structural induction tak masuk, but knowing him, die probably dah lame tau ( he's reaaallllyyyyy fast ).

Semalam kitorang konon nak wat sep-rais kat Deera, dtg nak kasi hadiah. I called her from Alisa's room, and Dee kate "aku nak keluar jap lagi gie bilik Kirah.." ... Uh-oh... org dtg nak carik die, tetibe die takde, camane nie? So I blatantly lied. " Eh aku nak dtg bilik ko, aku tgh depressed nie " . Heheh.. macam takde alasan lain, tuh je pop kat kepale mase tuh. Besides, after all the sob stories yg Dee dengar from me, I'm probably the only girl yang alasan tuh valid kat Umich nie, hahahah... Anyway, kasi Deera a "teddy - hippo ", yang memule jantan, tapi last2 jadi betine... name die? JELLO.... sempene bontot yg besau...

Smalam tgk suku Moulin Rouge and main ngan Deera nye puzzle... sorry Shay...hehehe ... needless to say, takde buat mende sgt pon.

Kylie: Boy, I can't get you out of my head...
Me: Crap, I'm really bored out of my head....

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Don't ask me what the heck the song is about.... this is dedicated to Kirah sebab rasenye die yang simpan this song in my comp, heheh.... where do all of these kind of songs come from?

Oh, and to those who asked, no, the last profile in my previous entry wasn't mine, just some random person in my buddy list ( the beauty of AIM: you can be in someone's list and never know about it ), and I'm not really comfortable nak gitau sape punye that profile... if you happen to know, you know, if you don't then heh heh heh heh heh....
tak caye it's not mine , msg me, my AIM is farraAzure, tgk my profile right now...which is currently kosong...

Here's to women and the men who deserves us...

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Thursday, April 17, 2003

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY DEERA!!!!!!!!!
You're finally old enough to move out of the house and buy alcohol that is not not sold on the counter of a pharmacy .... hehehe... Americans view being 21 as quite a big deal, don't they? As the immortal words of my friend Jimmy : " Wait, you don't drink, don't have sex, you have no...(pause )... intention to move out of your parents' until you're hitched... man, being 21 is gonna be so wasted on you" . Siot gile mamat tuh... My birthday is a long way still, since I only turned 20 last December ( on the 27th to be exact ).... so we'll see how "wasted" my 21st birthday will be. I celebrated my 19th birthday in LA, my 20th in Florida ( kat Disney World lagi tuh )... 21st... who knows? Cancun? hahaha....

Some interesting profiles from the my AIM:

=================================
i love u
u love me
we're best friends as friends should be
with a great big hug and a kiss from me to u
won't u say u love me too

BARNEY & FRIENDS. LOL!

========== ayun's ==================

==================================
I AM 21 !!!! 8-)

====deera's ( heppy birthday girl! ) ========

==================================

Attention girls!! These are all tried and true breakup facts (which includes a third party):
What he says about her to you:
"We're just friends."
What he really means:
"We're doing it already, but I'm not telling you because admitting it would make me an even bigger asshole than I already am. Plus, I have no balls. And what you don't know won't hurt you."
What he is foolishly ignorant of:
"Women ALWAYS know. Call it female intuition. And we're smart. We observe. We listen. We feel. Don't take us for fools. Be a man and tell us."

============someone else's ===========

Where's mine? hehehehehehehe.... currently kosong ( my old one dah lame padam ).... hehehe.. anyone with ideas of what to write?

Wish I can get Jennifer's profile right now, they're always interesting, but the lucky girl is back at home right now!!! I'm so jealous. When do I get to see home?
Waaaaaa!!!!!!

** from Al Green: " how do you mend... a broken heart...." ... anybody knows the title of that song? Do tell .... **

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Wednesday, April 16, 2003

Spring Breeze
--by Farah Nazihah Faisal

No more snow covering the ground
flowers and trees, instead I found
no ice cold winds laying siege
all I feel is the warm spring breeze

No music by man can sound so sweet
as birds chirping, gave morning greet
a promise to the start of a brand new day
as the branches on trees so slightly sway

hearts a-broken, dear, cry no river,
cause spring is here, and so is spring fever!
though it holds no promise for "forever and ever"
maybe it's time for " give it a try, never say never"

As for me, I'd rather be,
enjoying the warmth while sipping bubble tea! ( he he! )
Let spring wash away the doubt, hurt and sadness,
'cause it's time for fun, c'mon, spring madness!!

It's time to shine, time to be real,
time to love, let her know how you feel ....

( last two lines dedicated to someone who's currently being afraid... )

Heheh.... I'm bad at poems, but I love making them. Unlike other people who carry notebooks around and suddenly going "Eureka!! Inspiration had just hit my bald head!! (okay, skip the bald head part ) , I would sit in front of the comp, or in front of my diary, and just go "Okay, I want to make a poem, hmm.. what about ek? " Heheh...

Spring spring spring....

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Tuesday, April 15, 2003

*Sigh*.... I hate finals :( . Probably because I'm bad at studying things that I don't understand right off the bat. This semester might produce the worst result I ever receive in Michigan, and it's all because of stupid Math 217. Oh well, let's just get this over with...

Sedih tak when the person that you were always there for in times of his/her needs, comfort die when die down, layan die mase die happy.... suddenly dissapoint you in such a way that kite mmg terus jauh hati ngan die? Teringat mase my nyang chik meninggal... sure, mmg lah she wasn't my real moyang, but she was really, really close to me, closer even than my real nyang and nenek. I was really down in the dumps.... sgt2 depressed to the point that I couldn't do anything but just sit on the couch in my room, just sitting. So I told this person that my nyang chik meninggal.... and what did that person do? Nothing. No words of comfort, no "I'm sorry", no nothing. And mase tuh something just clicked in me. Mase die sedeh, pasal bende kecik2 pon, kite slalu pujuk die, or try to. Mase die need someone to talk to, kite dengar ape die nak cakap, sebab kite tau bende tuh important kat die, and kite tau if something's important to us, sure kite nak org lain hear us out jugak kan? And yet in my time time of need, that person tak buat ape-ape pun. Takde effort nak make kite feel better. Kalau tak rapat tuh lain cite lah, nie kite tau sume pasal die. Die je kot tatau pape pasal kite sebab selame2 nie kite cakap ape-ape, ntah kite pay attention ntah tak. So something in me just snapped. That was my time of need... and for once kite hope die tak dissapoint kite the way die buat before... tapi malangnye die tak ubah.... and again kite sorang2 mase tuh nak handle something yang very hard for me... thank goodness for the other people yang came through for me.

Kite admit kite kuat merajuk, and kite skang try tanak be too wrapped up in kite punye own feelings and own world ( even though skang rase macam backfire sket sebab now kite makin tak receptive to ape orang lain rase... kene work on that jugak ) . Tapi kite try hard tanak dissapoint die as a friend. And kite rase die sgt2 disrespect kite sebab die tak honor any of my wishes, and die tipu kite bile die kate "if you need me, I'll be there" ( tatau nak translate jadik melayu camane... lebey kurang lah words die )

Kite dissapointed.... kite try very hard tanak sakitkan hati die, I immediately apologized when I did, kite tau ape yang push die punye buttons and kite tak buat. Salah ke after all the effort kite put through, kite mintak die reciprocate sket je... die tau ape yang kite tak suke dgr, so sile lah jgn cakap.... die tau ape yg kite tak suke org buat, so jgn lah buat, at least jangan buat around kite.... and salah ke mase kite baru aje lose someone who meant the world to me, kite mintak siket je sympathy? And salah ke kalau bile die dissapoint kite so much this time, kite jauh hati sesangat ngan die? Die ingat kite tanak cakap ngan die sebab lain... when mostly it's pasal lain... and most probably die takkan bace pun entry nie... blogger nie lah tmpt luah perasaan, and kite tau mostly org yg bace my entries are impartial to my feelings and views, so kite nak cakap pape pun takde org nak respon sgt ( in a way, a good thing ).

Kite tau kite not the most perfect person in the world, and everytime before tido now nie kite slalu tengok balik, hoping and praying yang kite takde hurt org hari nie. Kalau ade org sakit hati ngan kite, kite mintak maaf sgt2, and kalau still tak puas hati, silelah bagitau kite... all comments that can make kite a better person are always welcomed ( hantar email or call, jgn comment kat chatterbox pulak, hehehe... tak nak bukak aib org lain or diri senirik ) ... kite tanak cut off bridges, kalau boleh tanak lose friendships because of something yang kite buat yang maybe kite tak sedar, or maybe kite sedar tapi since kite rase, kalau bende tuh jadik kat kite, kite tak rase big deal, tapi kat org lain maybe bende tuh sgt2 big deal. Kite hope kite tak use up all of my chances dengan sesape lagik...

Kite penah bagitau someone kat Michigan nie yang kite try tak give up on people... that byk mane pun kite sakit hati ngan someone, kite biar cool down and try to remember yang kite tak perfect jugak, siape kite nak judge org kalau dah mmg sifat die Allah jadikan camtuh. And kite try nak tell myself that fact sekarang nie every single time kite tetibe nak merajuk ngan someone or nak marah, it keeps my temper in check and kite tanak make old mistakes dah ( old mistakes of marah org/ merajuk tak tentu pasal ) . Which is why kalau kite dah jauh hati ngan someone tuh, makne nye kite dah takde energy nak asyik-asyik convince myself orang tuh tak penah ade maksud nak sakitkan hati kite, sebab kite dah cakap byk kali cakap, "jgn buat camtuh, kite tak suke tengok/dengar", dah banyak kali sgt, and kite rase kalau awak takleh nak ingat kite cakap camtuh, then takkanlah awak takleh ingat that everytime awak buat camtuh, kite sure sgt2 upset, selalu air mate tuh keluar ( ke aak tak kisah pun kite sedih asalkan awak puas hati ) ...... kite only human, and there's only so much yang kite bole handle at one time ... kalau katelah ntah camane awak terbace bende nie and awak tau kite tgh cakap pasal awak.... mintak2 awak tau kite takde maksud nak sakitkan hati awak ( sekadar nak lepaskan bende yang dah lame pendam ) ..... kite tau awak buat certain stuff atas dasar honesty... but honesty is as honesty be ..... awak slalu gune alasan tuh and kite dah had it .... kalau awak care, sure awak would think it through before buat pape...tapi since awak tak respect kite enough for me to stay... and that's why I have to go...

"Luahan hati terungkap sudah, ampun maaf penutup kata, salam berpisah pengundur bicara, kerna hati dah lama terluka" ... ( nie original org punye tau, copyright nie...)

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Sunday, April 13, 2003

As luck would have it, the Eastern Games is cancelled due to lack of funding. Uh-oh... drat. Newton's Third Law: For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. Action: it's gonna be great seeing old friends again, especially a certain miss YAZMIN ISLAHUDIN ( girl, thanks for all the help, emotional support and everything else that you did.... appreciate it :) ). Opposite reaction: speaks for itself. Those close to me would know, those not, if you're guessing at something, well let me tell you right off the bat it's wrong, heheh ( yeah, I do know how the human mind works ) ... Ah crap....

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Saturday, April 12, 2003

Okay, I've been keeping this in for days, but sometimes you see things that are begging to be commented on. New trend of today: celebrities making themselves "heard" about the war on Iraq. Where do they get off shoving their opinions in our faces all the time? Do they have a right to do that just because they are celebrities? Just the other day, Arsenio Hall, host of "Star Search", made a comment about about bashing in Saddam Hussein .... on stage, where he has 7 or 8 year old kids standing barely 1 foot away from him. He made a Saddam-inspired comment on a show that was supposed to be all about the kids!! I was shocked.... and angry. Celebrities should know better than to do stupid stuff like that. Shame on you, Mr. Hall. And shame on you, too, Mr. Moore, for doing what you did at the Oscars, though that was more forgivable because only adults were there. But "Mr. Hall" should've kept his comments to himself until a more appropriate moment arises for him to address them. And if he meant what he said as a joke, well, it's not funny, not when you have innocent children around.

Adults can be so irresponsible sometimes. Celebrities who are adults can be downright audacious. I DO NOT approve of you making political statements whenever and wherever your face pops up on TV, regardless of what your political views are. There are better ways to do that. Voice them in talk shows, forums, places where political views are taken (or could be taken) seriously. Don't voice them on stage receiving your Oscar, don't do them onstage when you have children around ( I don't think parents were to happy that their kids were hearing stuff like "bashing Saddam" or something like that ... I can't remember the exact comment, I was seething too much ) and for goodness sake, DON'T go on yapping about how the gov. sucks or how great the gov. is on every damn red carpet that you walk on. It's annoying enough that we have to watch you on TV (if you suck), don't make it worst by making us want to pelt you with a carton of bad tomatoes. Celebs, please be more responsible. Do talk shows, go to rallies, do an open forum.... don't preach to us during those times that we just want to relax and see kids sing or see which "lucky" actor is receiving the bald guy this year. Winding up people who need to unwind is just gonna make people boycott your movie/TV show and increase your "ass" factor. Sure, freedom of speech is very much alive in the US, but how about giving us a little freedom from celeb speech?

Just the other day I was walking past Hash Bash that was held at the Diag ( for those unfamiliar with the Michigan ways, Hash Bash is the annual gathering of people who are "fighting" for the legalization of marijuana, and for some reason, it's always held at the university ), and I saw two girls( the older one can't be more than 10 years old ), standing in the crowd of people, holding their dad's hand. The girls were wearing kinda raggedy clothes, and Daddy Dearest was wearing a worn-out coat and a hat with marijuana leaves pinned on it (how do I know what kind of leaves they were? Somebody near me was commenting on the hat and said so). Bodoh macam sial.I felt like punching Mr. Daddy. Why would any sane person bring two kids at a place like that? Where you have all these people high on weed and making total asses of themselves? Bodoh macam sial.The money that he spent buying weed could've been spent on new clothes for his daughter (and himself). Sure, he may have strong opinions about legalizing marijuana, but that is no place for children. Bodoh macam sial. Hell, that is no place for any adult, but adults have their own will. These children were brought there by an irresponsible parent, them knowing nothing of what's going on around them, him fully knowing what kind of shit people high on weed can do. Say it with me people: Bodoh macam sial. I was shocked seeing kids there at the rally, and I wanted to hit that guy with something rock hard to knock him to his senses. It's sad when you see things like that. Even people brought up in the most nurturing of environments can turn out to be a bad egg. How would the two girls survive in a world like that?

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Friday, April 11, 2003

slight change on the chatterbox... now the newest posts are on top instead of bottom..


TWO DRUNK BEARS
Yep..my teddy bears decided to have happy hour while I was out. Picture taken last year during winter break by my ex who decided he wanted to be a photo freak that day and basically started taking photos of every corner of my room, myself included. Notice at the lower right corner of the white bear ( Teddy ), there's a blue plastic cup, the item I believe was involved in the happy hour. Poor Teddy was so washed up, he had to lean on Fuzzy for support. The black thing on the left I can only assume to be one of my ex's socks. What did the bears had to say for themselves... well, nothing actually, but their eyes said "We're vewy, vewy sowwy... " Ouuwww.... how can I be mad? ( and by mad, I mean upset, not crazy... that's a whole different story altogether )

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Wes surfing through the web when I found this poem that I had done a short review about in PPP :

Love is not all: It is not meat nor drink
Nor slumber nor a roof against the rain,
Nor yet a floating spar to men that sink
and rise and sink and rise and sink again.
Love cannot fill the thickened lung with breath
Nor clean the blood, nor set the fractured bone;
Yet many a man is making friends with death

even as I speak, for lack of love alone.
It well may be that in a difficult hour,
pinned down by need and moaning for release
or nagged by want past resolution's power,
I might be driven to sell your love for peace,
Or trade the memory of this night for food.
It may well be. I do not think I would.

---Edna St. Vincent Millay

I remember reading that poem in front of a tape recorder for my Oral Comm class. Highly embarrassing moment because my voice sucks on tape. But I do like the poem very much. Each line tells us something that we already know yet never really think about. We know what love cannot do, and it is true that love is not everything, yet people are willing to sacrifice body and soul for love. Why do we do that? The answer is simple, and yet not so simple. Love might not be everything.... but what it is, it's enough.

Optimist singles say that if you don't go looking for love, how do you expect it to find you? Jaded singles say what makes you think love is gonna run to you when you run to it? Pessimists singles say maybe some people aren't meant to find love, maybe being single is just meant to be. Well, this single person say.... all in good time :). I don't think now is a good time for me because there's so many responsibilities for me to fill that having to deal with matter of the heart will just confuse me more. On the other hand, like any other normal person, I want to care and be cared for. But past experience showed me that rushing things have very undesirable effects; some of them unmendable. You lose and hurt people you care for, and in the end, you hurt yourself. So now I take it to heart when people say....

Take it slow....

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Thursday, April 10, 2003

Ngantuk ngantuk ngantuk ngantuk.....
Okay, where do I start? Let me begin at that day when all the madness started: Sunday, when I found out from Fatma that the sadistic people in the EECS department decided to scale the last program from 100 to 150. So since I already had 50/100 fro that, scaling gives me 75/150, right? Okay, just checking my math. Add up my 50 bonus points to that, and I only have 125/150.. oopss... since this happens to be the only class I'm doing relatively well in.... I headed to the MU and camped there up till yesterday night to finish it...

Okay... word of advice : never try to think up a program on Sunday when it's due on Thursday. Haiyoo... due hari tak tido. Thank goodness a really nice genius of a guy who helped explain stuff to me and corrected this one part that I had done wrongly. I still can't believe I made it, I mean finish the damn thing. Last program of the semester. Phew... I got home last night and just crashed.

First thing I did after the program was finished: threw away the program specifications and sample runs. Noticed the thing that Dave wrote on my program specs that made me smile during those times when I just want to throw the computer off the roof: "Smile!You're programming! " Hahaha... he wrote that during discussion, and looking at that reminds me that I'm not the only one busting my brains out for this. That made me feel a little bit better, hehehe.

Next thing I did: tiru Kirah punye EECS 203 hw yg due malam tuh. Hantar hw kol 11.30 pm... due kol doblas malam. Tobat tanak buat mende bodoh camni dah. THEN baru boleh balik , makan dan tido. I'm really, really lucky. Malangnye phone bunyik kol 9 pagi and didn't freaking stop ringing till now. Geram...

Anyway, my first blunder of the day:

f a r r a ( done!! ) says:
susah bile dah serious and then berak
f a r r a ( done!! ) says:
break
f a r r a ( done!! ) says:
hahahahahahahahaha

f a r r a ( done!! ) says:
salah eje!!!!!!!

dina says:
hahhahahahhaahahhahaha
f a r r a ( done!! ) says:
lawak siot!!!!!!!!!
dina says:
farahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
dina says:
lawak gilaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
f a r r a ( done!! ) says:
hahahahaha
f a r r a ( done!! ) says:
tu lah...
f a r r a ( done!! ) says:
aku nak sedeh pon tak jadik!!!
dina says:
kekehkehkkekeh tu la untung chat ngn aku
dina says:
sume mende jadi kelakar
dina says:
hahahhaha
f a r r a ( done!! ) says:
hahahaha tu lah

f a r r a ( done!! ) says:
aku nak copy paste blunder aku letak kat blogger

As the famous words of Chandler Bing goes ( or at least the syle of it ) : " Can I BE more stupid? "

Dina Lawa/Bantot Comel... miss you girl!! Thanks for starting my day off all cheery :) .....

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Monday, April 07, 2003

Why, why,WHY did it snow today? It's supposed to be spring! I'm supposed to be able to go out without having to put on 10 layers of coats. Michigan weather sucks big time. And so do I, come to think of it, sebab homework tak buat lagi, and I missed EECS 203 class today. My body "jet lag" sebab daylight savings time. Normally I would wake up just in time to get dressed and go to class.... today I woke up at th exact same time.... before daylight savings. Meeaning according to the clock, I woke up an hour later than usual. Well, I'm sorry, but it took me a semester to condition my body to wake up at that time, can't expect me to change in one measly day. Rome wasn't built in a day, y'know ( actually, that's a stupid saying, no city is built in a day, not even the virtual ones like in SimCity... so why does Rome get all the credit? Right.. enough crap about that ). Malasnye malasnye malasnye...

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Sunday, April 06, 2003

Program heven't finished yet.. but I'm in good position, so malas dah nak buat, hahaha... oh boy, I suck. This is the only subject that I can actually get an A in, and I'm not trying hard enough. Well, plan for today: study math and discrete math, do laundry, and hopefully get some sleep to make up for the one hour daylight savings time stole from us. American time is so crazy, dok kat Mesia lagi senang.

Called my mum just now, only to have my brother pick up the phone and tell me that my mom is in Europe with my dad. Ish, susah jugak bile mak kaki jalan, hehehe. She's seen a lot more places than I have. Hopefully I'll be able to travel too when I'm her age. Actually, hope I'll be able to travel while I'm still young, hehehe... I miss mummy and daddy already.

Talked to my best friend today, haven't seen her in a really long time. About your question, sweetie, this is all I can say: there are things that you think are worth your hard work and the occasional pain. Then again, some things are not. When it comes to matter of the heart, only you really know. Your decisions shouldn't be based on what other people around you experienced (those experiences should only help you get a better perspective on stuff), they should be based on what you feel in your heart is right. Take time off, take it slow, don't be like me and rush thing, hehe.... Girls like us, we're loyal creatures (at least some of us are, hehe... ingat Hanna tak? Shit, never wanna be like her, man ), easily taken advantage of and toyed with. Faye tanak you get hurt aje, love you very much, sweetie. Do what you think is right. Faye doa you don't get hurt again, if you decide to stick ( I did, so I know where you're coming from), but I also know what he's done to you, and if you decide that it's over, I'll support you in every single way I can, no questions asked. And thanks for the phone call, missed you soooooo much.

Okay, back to me. Hey, hey, nak gie mane tuh? Ooo.. org baru nak start angkat bakul, die dah lari dulu ye. Heh, kidding. Anyway, I got the weirdest phone call this morning (phone started ringing since awal pagi tadi ), thankfully this one was pretty sweet. Which should be a direct indication it's not about me. It's about a friend of mine, and the guy who called says he has a crush on her (more than that, actually, I think the word "marriage" was used .... "she makes me happy" ), and he asked me if she is bethrothed. Wow. Here was my reply (mase tuh laloq lagik) : "Ermm.. no, I don't think so.. I mean, we're okay and all, but we never really talked about stuff like that... but I don't think so... errmm.. yeah... I mean nope, don't think she's with anybody" . Crap. Can I sound any more moronic and mengantuk? Only hours before that, chat ngan someone who told me "I'm shy" and that's why he blushes a lot. Uh huh. Errmm.. yeah.. okay, sure, I'd take your word for it, hahaha :) .

Okay, me go back to watching Disney channel. Baru lepas makan nasik ngan daging black pepper ( masak senirik, lame tak masak ). So I'm very happy, and very fat. Later!

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Saturday, April 05, 2003

Play Mash
Hehehe... this site "predicts" your future by having you fill up 5 choices in each category listed, and then I have no idea how it woeks, but here's my result:

You will live in House.
You will drive a light green vw beetle.
You will marry ******L and have 3 kids.
You will be a homemaker in KL.

Haha.. penat belajar jauh-jauh, jadi homemaker jek? Sian ler my hubby kene keje sowang-sowang. Dee.. haha.. aku dapat ko punye kete. Kesimpulan: I'm crazy bored and programming sucks.

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Slept at three yesterday, willed myself to wake up at 11 because PROGRAM TAK SIAP LAGIK!!!! Siot. Anyway, my first msn chat for the day:

nani_nz says:
ko ngan teh nak gi MU tak?
f a r r a ( gelek lagi malam-malam, kan keje tak siap.. ish ) says:
aku baru bangun..
f a r r a ( gelek lagi malam-malam, kan keje tak siap.. ish ) says:
nak...
f a r r a ( gelek lagi malam-malam, kan keje tak siap.. ish ) says:
kene tunggu aku basuh muke and bersiap jap...
nani_nz says:
ja...ko tau tak kat luar ada snow yang kecik2
f a r r a ( gelek lagi malam-malam, kan keje tak siap.. ish ) says:
o ya ka
f a r r a ( gelek lagi malam-malam, kan keje tak siap.. ish ) says:
chett
nani_nz says:
h aah
nani_nz says:
ehhehe
f a r r a ( gelek lagi malam-malam, kan keje tak siap.. ish ) says:
weh tima kacih kasi pinjam starihtener
f a r r a ( gelek lagi malam-malam, kan keje tak siap.. ish ) says:
starightener
f a r r a ( gelek lagi malam-malam, kan keje tak siap.. ish ) says:
salah lagik
f a r r a ( gelek lagi malam-malam, kan keje tak siap.. ish ) says:
straightener
f a r r a ( gelek lagi malam-malam, kan keje tak siap.. ish ) says:
haa.. baru betul


Hmm.. brain isn't functioning fully yet. Eje pon tak betul. Ngantuk ngatuk. Buduh punye michigan, snow lak tuh hari nie. Oh well..

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MSA SISTERS' CULTURAL NIGHT

I'm usually really, really careful about mentioning any event that involves a bunch of us performing just so that I don't jinx it. Since this one is already over..... it was a blast! Hehehe... kudos to the umich gals involved: Deera, Kirah, Ayun, Alisa, Ijat, Diba, Chen and Wann ( and yours truly of course.. muahaha ), I think we did a preatty good job girls :) . Definitey had a lot of fun. Though I think the after party was the time all of us really let our hair down. Can't tell much (confidentiality is essential in times like these), suffice to say, ermm... ukur pinggang weh, sure turun due tige inci, keskes... all in all, a very good night( though unproductive, academic-wise), the most fun I had in ages.

Daytime, nothing much happened. Class as usual, but I chatted with a couple of my ex-classmates from STF petang tuh (and missed EECS 280 lecture, oops) . Waa!! Rindu sume org. Bantut makin lawa, very sweet :). Realize a lot of my friends from mesia"kapel ngan budak 25 tahun ke atas" (menurut kate sesorang). Wow. Oh, and belated congrats to Ijerq, my schoolmate, who had given birth to a baby boy :) . Mak ai.. majunye. Tak sangke someone I know, of my age, is now married, and now has a baby, too. *sigh*... jeles nye...

Okay, need to pray, then do work, no time for lengthy blog entries. By the way Nik, really disgusting link die hantar orang ye, chett chett, kot ye pon senirik freak out nak drag along orang jugak, haha... chett chett.

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Friday, April 04, 2003

After laboring and almost getting the whole pink concept right... I noticed a few flaws.. so sticking with the blue theme for the time being until I can get those flaws sorted out...

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Thursday, April 03, 2003

Okay, here's my attempt at putting up something new after having fat kitty as my template for so darn long... blue is nice... but pink is more me.. let's see if I can make that happen, hehe ..

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Today is Thursday. No big secret there. I have tons of homework to do. Nope, still no secret. I don't know how to do them. Duh. My academic life sucks (iye?? *love hearing ppl make sarcastic comments, kelakar, maybe because I suck at making them meself* )
So sekarang tgh wat ape? Tgh tgk website yg ade katun Powerpuff Girls (tak official tapi) . But the graphics are cute, wallpapers comel sgt, if it's not for the fact I already have so much junk in my comp, nak aje install. Somebody introduced to me Ninjai, The Little Ninja punye graphics. Hehe.. best2... I know, I know, dah lame, sume org dah tau, I dah tau lame gak just tak penah buat honorable mention kat sini. Why mention now? Because I'm freaking bored and aside from rehearsal for the sisters' cultural show semalam, takde mende nak cite.
All I can say about the rehearsal is... some girls can really move their body in a way yang org tgk pon boleh mabuk. Seriously. Rasenye kalau aku yg nak wat arabic dance, patah riuk kot. Tgk diorang smalam, teringat lak my small dance stint mase kat PPP dengan Didie, Dias, Rozana and Sarimah. It was fun :) . Mase kat STF I was too bloated nak nari. Mase kat PPP macam lah kurus sgt, but at least I was confident enough to say "what the heck, try je lah skali seumur idop". Glad I did. Though we didn't move macam the girls semalam, if we did ade jugak tak lepas "biro piawai" grad dinner . Nasib baik Jummat nie takde budak laki tgk derang perform, uishh.. bahaye tuh.
Okay, nak kene setat wat homework, kang tak habes besok nak kene hantar, naye jek..

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Tuesday, April 01, 2003

It's 4.35 pm on a Tuesday afternoon. Current hair situation: black with red highlights, and I do mean red. I just got back from a once-in-a-lifetime trip to the hairdresser, cost me a pretty penny. Just realized that I should have probably made the hairdresser cut my hair a bit shorter, but I LOVE the highlights! Probably because I love red. I was a bit apprehensive first because I thought it was gonna turn out fire engine red, but end result is pretty cool. Teh and I "commemorated" our hair-day with a Kodak moment, a.k.a picture taking frenzy. I decided to change into the black dress I'm going to wear to the sister's Cultural Day this Friday, but since the top part is a bit too sexy for my liking, I decided to wear my lace top over it. End result: black skirt, lace top, black hair, red highlights, 3-inch black high heels (shoes that are to die for). Hey, even if Friday turns out to be a lousy day, at least I'll know I'll look good ( alah.. kasi can lah nak puji diri senirik..who's gonna honk my horn if not meself? ). After taking a few pics, I realize that, oh hell, I have homework to do. So what am I yapping here for? Better shooh shooh meself away...

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Yesteday I was thinking about my friends back in Malaysia and those in Ireland. When I was in PPP, we had to do an essay about friends, type of friends and stuff like that. I remember very well doing a paragraph on "transition friends", friends that you meet after high school but before entering college. These are the people that you only meet for a while, but have a special bond with based on experiences together while going through the period of adjusting your lives to accomodate what's up ahead. Well, I have to say, I have the best transition friends a girl can hope for :) .
Elle, Yanie, Wana, Kun Yun, Soon Sim, Kong, Dias, Ekin, Sue, KB and many more, the list is too long for me to write out right now (since I'm skipping class and need to haul ass to the library). You guys are the best, miss all of you. And thanks for everything.
Kun Yun, thank you for the "cats" :) ...

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