HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME :)

(on the left: Nik's red lillies.... gorgeous!)

Assalamu'alaikum.....

Look at what Nik got me for my birthday!! Red lillies and a cute card to go with it! Afzan got me a beautiful pair of pink earrings, while Wann got me this really gorgeous black handbag from Express. Bulan treated me to a bowling game (much thanks :) ) afterwards. After what, you may ask? Lemme start my day at the beginning.

My birthday "day" actually started at 10pm the night before. Nik called me from his cellphone saying that he was outside my door. Unfortunately, I had just finished scrubbing my bath tub and playing DDR for the last 1-1/2 hour, so seeing my best bud while looking like a sweaty dog did not sound too appealing. However, I put a t-shirt and pants on and opened the door.....




(on the right: Nik's birthday card)

.... and there was this beautiful bouquet of lillies propped against the wall of my apartment. So beautiful. Granted, it was a good 2 hours before my official birthday "day", but what the heck, it was already my birthday in Malaysia and probably in other parts of the world too, so it was fine. The flowers were really pretty, I just adore fresh flowers and these lillies couldn't be any prettier.

Anyway, the next day started off pretty normal. Me, Afzan, Kirah and Wahida went to see Memoirs of a Geisha, that new movie with Michelle Yeoh and Zhang Ziyi. Anyway, the lady who played the villain Hatsumomo, Chinese actress Gong Li, is freakin' GORGEOUS!




(on the left: picture of Afzan's gift, earrings and card).

It was a really good movie, the cinematography was excellent... wish it had stayed closer to the book and developed more of Mameha's character, but I guess you can only do so much in 2-1/2 hours of movie time. To tell the truth, I like this one better than King Kong. Tgk org bercinte ngan beruk, buat ape. Pompuan tgk beruk, beruk tgk pompuan, main ais skating kat mane2 ntah. 3 jam plak tuh kene tgk beruk ngan pompuan tgk each other. WTF?





(on the right: Wann's gift... an evening bag from Express)

Anyway, after getting back from the movies, I got ready to go out to my "surprise" birthday dinner... in that the location was a surprise. Nyahahaha.... Nik got this one right, definitely. They brought me to Olive Garden, probably my most favorite restaurant in Ann Arbor. Yay! There was a pretty good crowd.. there was me (of course), Afzan, Wann, Joe, Fer, Zul, Bulan, Kirah and of course, Nik. Dinner was excellent (in my opinion), and conversation was good. Nik terhantuk kepale kat gelas air... LoL! Padan muke, gelakkan org punye kete lagik, pandai. And although I wished somebody else was there, too, I have to admit it was a really good crowd and I couldn't have planned it better myself.

Afterwards, Nik, Bulan and I went bowling with a few other friends of Bulan's... me like bowling velly mooch :)~ . Bulan, as usual, was good at it (what can he NOT do? He's good at everything), Nik had a somewhat off night, and I did... average. As usual.

Loved, loved, loved my birthday :) . So glad to celebrate it with friends :). Thanks guys! Love ya all!

Wassalam...

Assalamu'alaikum....

Nyahaha.... I haven't updated in a really, really long time. One month, in fact. Been really busy lately, school has been weird. There's presentations, projects, proposals and of course, final exams. I also had Nik, Wann and Kirah's graduation to go to, which was last Sunday. It was alright, I guess, unfortunately I can't attest to that much because I came a bit later. Afterwards, we went to eat at Raja Rani later that night.

It is currently Winter Break, and like all grad students, I am broke and staying at home for the whole two weeks. Nik and Wann have been staying over for the last couple of days because their new apartment has no electricity. We've been watching DVDs for the last couple of days, so tonight we're going out to the movies, probably King Kong (even though I'm aching to watch Chronicles of Narnia). We'll see :) .

On Friday we celebrated Nik's birthday at TGI Friday's. It was a mostly guys affair, and I have to admit I was more stressed than usual because there was just a lot of stuff to do and people to coordinate. While I was stressed, Nik had a great time, so it made all the panning worth it. I have to admit, I actually dropped the cake upside-down but somehow nothing happened to it. Must be something in the air, lol :).

Anyway, I'm a little sleepy, and not making much sense, so I'll be off now and maybe update a wee bit later.

Wassalam...

Me singing "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia, if you can't see the video then go here (in case you REALLY do not know what the above sentence means.... click on the "here" word... the underline means it's a link... aiyohhhhh)



Assalamu'alaikum.....

Turkey Weekend is over.... people are done giving thanks and devouring giant ugly birds. Turkeys everywhere can now breathe easily as they mourn their brethren who got eaten. Poor lil' bastards. As Merry said, "Turkeys are the dumbest birds on earth", why she said that I dunno.

Thanksgiving day was a bust, I won't go into details but here's a little advice: never go out in 7 degrees weather wearing a short black dress. So not a good idea. The day after Thanksgiving was better, Nik, Afzan and I upheld the Black Friday tradition and went shopping at Tweleve Oaks mall. There goes my paycheck. I bought 5 tops, a pair of gorgeous earrings (I know someone likes 'em *wink wink*) and a matching necklace. I also bought two pairs of sunglasses, one for me and one to replace Kirah's that I broke :( . Sorry K. Anyway, while waiting for our food, I managed to get a job.. sorta. This lady gave me her card and wants me to translate a bunch o' stuff from English to Malay. Score!

The day after was even better :) . It was GempitaFest 2005, and although the turn out wasn't spectacular, it was a pretty fun event. I met up with one of the coolest (and prettiest, I might add) girl, Adriana from Western Michigan, who has this amazing voice and pretty excellent showmanship, I might add. I wasn't expecting to see any of my batch, but lo and behold, Abe from RPI was there, doing his thing on stage in a red t-shirt with a turned up collar. Apparently he hasn't graduated yet, it's all details really, so I won't get into them. Suffice to say... glad to see someone who's about as old as I am, LoL. It made me feel less old meself. Also got to see the freshies, whom I never get to see 'cause their asses live on Central. Kak Fezah masak beriani sedap, as always. Wann and Nicholas went home early, so they didn't get to hang out with me, Travis and Nik at Travis's place later that night. I, of course, the party animal, promptly fell asleep and hijacked Travis's bed about a half hour after I got there, LoL. Poor thing had to go sleep outside with Nik.

And now, it is back back back to the grindstone... ho hum...

Wassalam...

HAPPY TURKEY DAY

Assalamu'alaikum.....

Today's Thanksgiving... Happy Thanksgiving Day to all who celebrate it. Aihhh... it's so freakin' cold outside, I really don't wanna go anywhere. Think I'm just gonna stay home and leave the turkey eating to other people. Me too sleepy to do anything.... ni pun baru sgt bangun.

Lepas bangun, check email, pastu ade org mesej kat Friendster. So of course, gi lah check Friendster pulak kan. Lepas balas mesej, saje tgk nak update profile sendiri. Tetibe nampak korner yg tulis Top Network Searches tu. Tgk lah Melayu carik ape.. :

1. nokia 8800


2. hazliana


3. menindih tubuhnya


4. selak kain


5. terlondeh baju


6. terangkat angkat
   
   
7. isterimu isteriku jua


8. kak lina


9. robert pattinson


10. pakcikku

Bongok... time-time camni lah rase malu gile ngan network sendiri. Carik lah mende lain yg ilmiah sket, kalau nak tak senonoh pun, jgn lah buat kat Friendster tuh. Adoooiiiii.....

Okaylah, nak kene tkar baju, satgi mau Thanksgiving lunch ngan Wann, Nicholas and Nik. Ta peeps!

Wassalam.................

HARRY POTTER AND THE CUTI-CUTI MICHIGAN

Nyahaha... dah start cuti dah. Yes yes... boleh berpoya-poya kat rumah, lepak makan tido tengok tv.... bestnye bestnye bestnye. Takde nak terkejar-kejar pegi kelas, pegi keje, pegi group meeting, pegi ntah hape-hape ntah lagik. Bertuah punye Michigan, elok-elok cuti baru nak start, terus snow. Ambek ko, tak kasi can langsung.

Ni baru lepas balik menemuramah Mbak Susan pasal gamelan punye collection. Elok-elok dah sampai ofis die baru sedar interview questions tertinggal kat rumah, tersalah ambik file mase nak kluar umah. Nak tanak kene lah spontan jek, aih malunye. Tapi die pun tak tau byk sangat pasal history of the collection, so interview pun takdelah lame sgt. Tak sampai sejam, mengaku je lah lepas tu yg soklan-soklan tertinggal kat umah. Ni lepas ni nak kene call School of Music mintak cakap ngan dosen gamelan tuh. Erk.... malehnye nak buat research paper ni.

Cakap pasal paper, dah due weekend keje buat paper jek. Asal org lain tanye "Free tak malam ni?", asyik kene jawab "Tak, ade paper due." , "Takleh kluar, paper tak siap lagi". Wtf, asal grad students takde social life ni? Asal asal asal? Kalau tak kene buat paper, kene buat group projects, kalau tak yg itu, ade mende lain pulak. Hampeh, time-time camni lah nak balik umah soh mak kawinkan jek.

Haaa.. Semalam tgk Harry Potter ngan Afzan ngan Nik. Lepas balik kelas je terus amek kunci kete drive gi Showcase (yep, I'm still driving. Takkan baru eksiden sekali due terus nak give up kot... plus sape lagi nak drive kete bertuah tuh). Kitorang tgk show yg start kol 8.30 mlm. Kol 11 tuh baru kluar panggung, by then mate dah separa bengkak sebab sedey tgk budak hensem mati. Wooo.... ape lah nasib ko budak hensem. Sape tak tgk lagi movei and tak bace lagik buku die, pandai2 lah figure out sape budak hensem. Sgt cute, encem encem. Movie tuh lame lah gak, tapi tak rase cam lame sebab best. Sronok gile tgk, budak2 main character sume dah terrer berlakon, okay lah... takdelah bergantung kat special effects jek.

Smalam before tido sempat lah borak ngan sorang kanak-kanak nie, lame tak chat ngan die, plus takdelah rapat sangat pun in the first place tapi boleh lah. Lepas due tige menet chat, baru perasan ayat die almost sume start ngan "Boyfren I... ", sebagai contoh: "Boyfren I cakap tempat tuh best", "Boyfren I datang pick dengan kete die", "Boyfren I itu...", "Boyfren I ini...". Erk... sedikit meluat lepas dah lame-lame chat tuh, sebab ye lah kan, ayat sume same jek. Plus macam org tak kenal je boyfren die sape, bukan best sgt pun. Nyahaha... tak ke mampus kalau budak tuh bace entry ni. Biar... rase kan, setengah jam habes camtuh jek, org nak tau cite pasal pendapat die, asyik2 masuk pasal boipren die. Adoi. May I not become like that ever, amin.

Skarang tgh kat library tunggu appointment potong rambut kat Aveda. Lame dah tak potong, rambut nampak tak kemas, plus rimas sket. Tgh nak figure out nak buat bangs ke idak, salah potong kang muke nampak lagi bulat. Bestnye lahhhhh hari ni dah start cuti, bleh potong rambut, bleh lepak, satgi bleh gi K Mart pulang baju... bleh buat macam-macam.

Cepat laaaaah Thanksgiving sale.

Wassalam...

Assalamu'alaikum....

I don't undestand. I don't understand why. I don't know what to think, what to feel, how to act, how to react. One minute I was dancing and bowling and loving myself and my life, the next minute years of friendship went down the tube, and over what? A misunderstanding? The phone not working? Me not calling back right when I'm supposed just because I was distracted? I don't understand and I'm so confused right now. How is it that just 24 hours before I was dressing up in a pretty sweater, feeling good about myself, and right now I don't even know what just happened? How is this my fault? What did I do to even deserve this?

Assalamu'alaikum.....

It's 3.40 am on a Saturday... I have just gotten back from bowling with my fellow SI-ans and Nik, who was more excited about bowling than I was. Originally I didn't wanna go 'cause I really, really wanted to go out dancing, but I'm glad I went 'cause the bowling alley was shakin', LoL. I saw my groupmate, Kaveri and her husband there. Libby, my GSI, was also there. It was awesome, people were dancing and no one was paying much attention to bowling. What a relaxing night it was, it was so great to just not think about papers and homework and just have fun with a bunch of people and a really great friend :) . LoL ... good thing he's never gonna read this, terpuji plaks, LoL. But seriously, it was great, no drama, no complications, just fun. Too bad Wann wasn't there with Nicholas, it would've been "funner" (is there such a word?)

I'm a little pumped for someone who hasn't gotten much sleep today, LoL. Nik is already out cold by now, I think. I just couldn't sleep and decided to just blog a bit. Two updates in one day, I'm on a roll, hahaha. I'm excited for the football game today, it's supposed to be an easy win but you never know.... Michigan vs. Indiana, at noon. It's gonna be a good day :)

I'm happy right now. Hope it'll last.

Wassalam...

GRAD SCHOOL IS HARD!!!!

Assalamu'alaikum.....

I am at work, half-asleep and going completely insane. Why? Because I slept at 6.30 am today, had class at 9am, then it was off to work from 11.30am to 2pm. And if you even THINK that my day is going to be over right afterwards, you are seriously wrong because at 4pm, I have dance class. Whoop-da-dee.

Things didn't go quite as planned this morning. I had my short assignment due at 9am on CTools and spent the whole night doing it. At 6.15 am, about 400 words short of what the maximum length of the paper should be (which is never a good thing; I used to major in bullshit paper), I decided that I have effectively run out of ideas, points and filler words for my paper. I was also feeling the starts of a pounding headache, which I then put a stop to by taking two caplets of Excedrin.

Now, by that time, my butt has been parked on the chair for about... let's see... 8 hours straight. I'm not kidding y'all, that's like a whole night's sleep right there.... which is not that unusual for a college student. What was unusual for me was... running out of words to write. I had the points... I just ran out of stuff to elaborate. To top it all of, I wasn't supposed to go to sleep 'cause the plan was to stay up, go to class, work, THEN collapse, but the moment I sat on my couch, my body just shut down (probably because of the Excedrin) . I fell asleep. When did I wake up? 11.25am, an hour after class ended and about 5 minutes before I was supposed to go to work. What woke me up? A phonecall from a telemarketer. for once they served some sort of a purpose.

So I came to work, luckily only 5 minutes late, which I apologized profusely to Steve for, and right now my tummy is not feeling that good. I was chain-eating candy all night just to keep the sugar rush up and keep me from getting sleepy while working on my paper. I'm very fortunate that while staying up kinda wrecks my day in that I can't study that well or think properly, I can still function somewhat normally. It's a good thing too that I'm not having one of those major headchaes that usually comes after a whole night of not sleeping.

Man, I so do not want to work right now... Thank god it's gonna be over in 20 minutes...

HALLOWEEN 2005

Aha! Setelah sekian lame takleh nak update blogger, it's finally fixed! Again! Hampeh tol, there goes my multitude of updates....

Last weekend was Halloween.... well actually today is officially Halloween, but that's just a minor technicality. Anyway, a few of us dressed up ..... hehehehe..... yes, I am 23 years old, and I still think dressing up is fun. I thought I was never gonna get my costume(s) in time, but we went on Friday night to Halloween USA, then K Mart, and I found a costume that I liked :) .

So on Friday I was a Dark Princess, while on Saturday I was a Tavern Wench :) (in case you're wondering what a wench is... it's just a girl.... so I was just a girl who worked in a bar LOL). Saturday was also daylight savings time, so an extra hour of sleeping (or, erm, partying) was available. What joy. Oh, Nik dressed up as a Dark Red Knight, unfortunately people kept mistaking him for a Star Trek character (cue the "beam me up Scotty" jokes... and references to the USS Enterprise). Wann dressed up as a cowgirl in jeans, jean jacket and my cowboy hat (my barn Dance cowboy hat sees the outside of my apartment yet again). All in all, the weekend wasn't as crazy as I hoped it would be, but it was pretty cool all the same.

So that was how my weekend went. Hahaha... Raya is coming soooonnn.... Selamat Hari Raya to everyone!!!!!!

Wassalam....

MICHIGAN (27) vs. PENN. STATE (25)

I have never, ever been so happy to be at a game. It was.... awesome. Even looking back at it, man, it was just... awesome. "Awesome" wouldn't exactly be the perfect word to describe everything that happened on Saturday's game against PSU, but it would be the perfect word to use to describe that one last, miraculous, highly unprobable second.

Never mind Henne played like fuck, fumbled the ball and helped them score a touchdown. Never mind that we weren't exactly at the top of our game that day. Never mind that our voices were hoarse from yelling "Get him!" or "Henne, come ON!". Well, okay..... not exactly never mind. But all of the frustration and the "nak-tendang-bebola-orang" tendencies were forgotten the moment that TD was made...... a wooooohooo! Serves the PSU people right, they weren't being nice guests in our stadium. Nik, Seng Keat, me, Afzan, Kirah, Teh and Wahida (nyahah! majoriti pompuan) had the unfortunate luck of sitting (standing) riiiiiggghtttt in front of some die-hard PSU supporters who were loud, rude, mean and lind-stinkin' drunk. And those were just the girls. Throughout the games, they (and when I say "they", I also mean "us") kept getting pelted with random things ranging from water bottles to grapes to balled-up paper. All I can say to my darling fellow Wolverines is ... aim better!!! I'm not your target!! Sheesh.

As I looked at the pictures taken during the game, I wish I have season tickets. Of course, then Henne's many fumbles came into mind and then I thought, maybe season tickets weren't exactly the best idea.....

So anyway, lemme start again with all the stuff that's going on since Friday. Friday, I had my normal lectures, a meeting with a client regarding the SI 501 project, and of course, dance class. I came in to the office in the afternoon to say hi to everyone, then I came again after dance class 'cause Nik working and I thought I left my sunglasses there from my previous visit. Turns out.... everybody, with the exception of Merry who was on vacation, was there. I'd rather not elaborate on what happened but what was supposed to be a 15-minute "hey-have-you-seen-my-glasses" visit turned out to last 45 minutes with me dodging bullets and put into some pretty uncomfortable positions. Oh, such drama.

Saturday after the game, Nik and I went Acapellooza 2005 held at the Rackham Auditorium. Wann and Nicholas joined us a wee bit later. It was pretty excellent, I'm glad I went. The groups were pretty good and extremely funny. Nik bought the CD, and I really like the songs. I'm a little dissapointed with Amaizin' Blue, I really thought they could've been better, but Dicks and Janes were excellent :) .

All in all, a pretty good end to a week wraought with homework, work, and more work...

Wassalam...

Assalamu'alaikum....

Nyahaha... I'm getting pretty regular about the whole updating thing now that Fall Break is coming near. Unfortunately, I'm updating in class (never a good idea to put me in front of a fully working computer).

Just read an email from Ayun. I'm okay, dearie, thanks for asking. Ayun was worried about my mental well-being 'cause I've been acting like a basket case lately. Don't worry laling, I'm frazzled but still (barely) sane. Nik and Wann are keeping me sorta sane (actually they sometimes contribute to the insanity and are detrimental to my mental health, LOL... but it's a welcomed distraction... sort of.... nyahahah)

I cannot wait for Fall Break... classes are insane, I have take home midterms and other long-paper shit.... adoi sakit perut :( . But soon it's going to be RAYA!! (Mabuk, sendiri baru puase 2 hari).

Typing in class is noisy.

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum.....

I'm taking a five-minute break from my homework just to rest my hands a bit, my finger has this pencil identation that came about from holding my pencil for too long. So I decided to abuse my fingers another way: by typing in random stuff to update my blog.

Nik has just finished being an absolute meanie to me... as usual. "Sorry I'm busy" said in an unapologetic voice makes me feel sooooo appreciated (insert your own brand of sarcasm here). Am I worried he's gonna find out I'm writing this? Abso-bloody-lutely not 'cause he never reads my blogger, for one. So if he finds out, I then KNOW FOR SURE that there are busy-bodies residing in Ann Arbor (or Malaysia) who are hell-bent on causing trouble in other people's lives. So there. Here's my little experiment: Is Nik gonna find out that I wrote about him and said he was mean to me? If he is, how? let's watch :) .

School was tough, as usual. So many things to do, so many professors to suck up to, so many classmates to make friends with... and of course, so many people to hate. However, I am loving the School of Information building (it's in West Hall) even though it is 4 storeys high and it has NO elevators. Wow. But the student lounge is absolute heaven. Mini kitchen, TV, comfy couch, two computers (one is a Mac, one is a PC), a printer/scanner/photocopy machine, vending machines..... all in one cozy room that is the perfect temperature. Bliss... ahh... I did my homework there yesterday. I basically parked my ass in the SI building from 10am up to 11pm. By the time I was ready to leave, I was the only one in the building. Spooky. But most of my homework got done, thank goodness.

My car still looks like a wreck, but at least it's still doing it's purpose of transporting me to places that I need to go. I notice that I tend to wake up later because I know that I can drive myself down to central. On the other hand, I'm no longer missing class just because I woke up 5 minutes before class is supposed to start. Ahah!

Dance class is getting more interesting. We're learning the strong style now, so my arms hurt extra every class. And hear I thought flicking the scarf is hard to do, holding your arms up for a good 15 minutes while moving your ass to a song is enough to make you sweat buckets after a 1-1/2 hour class. On the plus side, I am no longer taking my shoulders for granted.

My eyes are sleepy, and I still have to finish up my homework. I'll maybe pen again tomorrow... or later. Sometime..

Wassalam...........

BERITA TERKINI : KERETA DI TANDUK RUSA

Sabtu, 8 Oktober 2005 - Sebuah kereta Ford Contour di timpa kemalangan pada jam 6.30 petang semasa dalam perjalanan ke Westland, Michigan. Sewaktu itu, kereta tersebut dalam perjalanan ke majlis berbuka puasa di kediaman Kak Faezah (dah pindah umah baru dowh). Kereta tersebut (plat nombor -- betul ke idak ni?-- FARRA) mengalami cedera parah setelah di tanduk rusa. Kaca-kaca bersepai di tepian jalan bak pasir-pasir putih di pantai yang dipukul ombak berderai (acheewah!! Pinjam sket Din Beramboi). Rusa tersebut tidak mengalami kecederaan melainkan terpempan seketika di tepi jalan, kemudian meneruskan larian marathon pulang ke rumah.

Setelah menemuramah mangsa-mangsa terlibat iaitu Afzan, Teh, Keju, Awang dan Farah (bukan nama-nama sebenar), polis telah mengenal pasti bahawa yang bersalah adalah pihak rusa and bukan manusia-manusia yang berada di dalam kereta berkenaan. Menurut Afzan "Betul Farah, bukan salah ngko, ruse tu yang lari langgar kete ko". Menurut Farah "Hampeh punye ruse. Rosak kete aku". Menurut Awang "Nasik aku tumpah on the way balik".

Lampu depan FARRA (kereta ye bukan orang) pecah kedua-duanya. Atap kereta juga mengalami kecederaan iaitu kemek sedikit ye. Kereta idaman hati sekarang sudah rupa macam nak mati. Apa yang mampu diutarakan sekarang ialah .... "Alhamdulillah. Nasib baik saya tak drive laju sgt tok. Kalau tak, dah lagi laju langgar kijang... eh bukan kijang lah Wann.. ruse. Haa.. kalau lagi laju langgar ruse, lagi teruk kemek kete, nasib baik airbag tak kluar kalau tak dah Sodaqallah je lah kete tu" ucap Farah sambil berlinangan air mata mengingatkan nasib yang terpaksa mengeluarkan lebih kurang 200 dollar untuk membaiki lampu depan kereta.

Berhati-hati di jalan raya kepada mereka yang pulang ke kampung ber Hari Raya.

Assalamu'alaikum.....

Selamat Berpuasa :) !!!! May Ramadhan brings us many many many blessings, cherished memories and a chance to redeem ourselves and come out better people. Honestly, me head (and tummy) has not registered that it's the fasting month. Hopefully this year I'll be able to do better than I did before this.

Yesterday was interesting in a bad way. Today was interesting in a bad way. I am so drained. My chest feels like someone's poking it with a hot pin and then squeezing my heart really, really hard. Sleep didn't come easy, my head isn't in the whole academic game, and all I wanna do is curl in my bed and go to sleep. Seriously.

Malas nak komplen pasal pape, Ramadhan is starting and I should be happy :) . And in a lot of respects, I am. I just... wish some other things would fall into place too :) .

Assalamu'alaikum....

So sorry peeps, lame dah tak update, nyahaha. Been very, very busy. Grad classes are killing me, and with the drama that has been surrounding my work place lately... well let's just say even if you are.. ermm.. mentally challeneged, if you can drive a car or operate heavy machinery, then I can still whoop your ass whenever you start acting like a spoiled, sick little jerk. All the things that are happening around me is enough to give a girl migraines.

Anyway, what prompted me to write today, aside from the fact that I'm stuck at the Baits office a little while longer since it's raining outside, is the fact that last night, I had a really weird dream. It was a bad dream... at least in my opinion. Only one other person aside from Deera (seb baik ko mesej aku, pompuan, thankee thankee :) ) knows about it, nyahaha. Suffice to say, I accidentally fell asleep without washing me feet, dreamt, woke up crying, realized I woke up BEFORE my alarms clock started buzzing and then went to the bathroom to smayang Subuh. After that, I went on a quest to MAKE SURE that everything is the way it's suppposed to be and not warped like the way it was in my dream. So I started poking my nose around places that I really have no business in just to make sure that everything's okay. All of that happened before 10am.... pretty eventful morning.

Ooohh, for the record (not that he's ever gonna read this anyway 'cause he's not the type, nyahaha)... I DO know the girl. After much thinking I realized who it was (well it sorta went like that, LoL, at least Deera knows the full version), and how silly would I sound if I say that I'm more than just a teeny bit jealous..?

Anyway, the morning started out weirdly enough, and the sucky weather prompted everyone to lose their room keys, which means that I spent half of my morning at work making temporary room keys for probably half of the residents at Baits 1. C'mon people, I know you're freshmen but keys don't melt just because it's raining outside. Weather seriously sucked, I was glad to get back home.

Tonight was the premier of Desperate Housewives, Season 2. Woo hoo!! I've been waiting for it for so long... Nik came over for DDR a little bit earlier and promptly left when the show came on TV (there's no accounting for taste... seriously). After the show was over (Bree in a fight with her mother-in-law!! Rex is finally buried!! Susan and Mike are not moving in together... again!! Carlos wants a paternity test!!), Nik, Wann, Nicholas and I went out for dinner at Dinersty 'cause we were freakin' hungry. There, I realized that sometimes, even the most innocent things can sound freakin' dirty when the right people are involved.

So yeah, here I am attempting to study (sorta) and do a paper and remember that tomorrow's Career Fair... oh man, going through the motions of getting an interview is so gonna kill me... me under pressure is not a pretty sight at all. This is the one time where my dry humor and affable smile (cheewah!!) gets me absolutely nowhere... engineers pretty much suck :( .

I gotta go now.. homewroks' -a-calling ... man oh man :( . Till later peeps! Seriously, like much later 'cause this week is gonna be hell. Miss you all muakkss :-* !!

Wassalam

Assalamu'alaikum....

Hmmm.... orientation's done.... met a lot of new people, which is cool :). My student account is finally settled (sorta), I've registered for classes, met with some of my future professors, and things are really beginning to shape up. I have a new job lined up for the semester at Baits, but I'm really going to miss working at Pierpont. Today was my last day, boo hoo.... (seriously, this is sad, I'm not being sarcastic). Merry, Michael and Angela gave me this really, really sweet and wonderful card as a going away present, which I really, really adore :). I'm really going to miss them a lot. It sucks that my position during the fall is going to be a work-study position, or else I would have applied for it in a heartbeat. It's a really great office, I've had a really great experience, no matter how emotional it was, LoL.

So Panda Express is finally open in Pierpont (Panda sells Chinese food.. slightly bland and overpriced for my taste, but hey, it's actually a pretty decent eating place compared to everything else Pierpont has to offer... sorry catering people :)~ ). Noticed quite a few of my friends are working there, LoL. I guess the outfit isn't that bad, even though I split my sides the other day laughing at Salah and Din for their green and yellow Panda t-shirts, respectively. But hey, there are gonna be way richer than I will ever be.

It's gonna be weird going to school as a grad student. The moment that the SI faculty said "Welcome to SI, master's students", my heart skipped a beat. Omigod omigod omigod... I'm doing my master's.... and I'm still in Michigan!! Holy crap! Now that the novelty of it all is wearing off, I have to say... I miss home a lot. I miss my little kiddies and my mom and my dad and my brothers and my sis-in-law and my cuzzy...... I miss the shopping, the food, the ability to walk around in just jeans, flip-flops and a thin cotton top without having to worry if the temperature is going to drop sub zero.... Given a choice, yeah, I'd pick home, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I wanna do my master's now, 'cause I might not get the chance for it later.

This is my second night spending in my room by my lonesome, watching a few DVDs and basically devouring everything in sight. I'm just in my down time, relaxing a bit before all the craziness of school starts. I'm trying to fit dance somewhere in my schedule, which is gonna be tricky because I wanna do well in school and I know there's no room for much dilly-dallying. We'll see how things go, I still might be able to do some of dance. No more ballet though, I think my body never really forgave me for trying to force it to do some really funky shit. No kidding.

I'm feeling strangely relaxed and at peace... and all without the help of weed. I'm a 23-year-old woman living in Michigan, the capital of Hash Bash... and I've never had weed. Yes, I am a dork. So far I haven't had the guts to experiment with pretty much anything. Oh weed, why art thou delude me? (or something like that)

I was watching TV when I realized that I was actually missing someone really badly. Wherever you are, you're always in my thoughts hon :) .

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum.......

I miss Sharron Wenzel. She's this really nice lady who works in the North Campus International Center who has been nothing but kind to me. I adore her to bits. Sharron had her operation on Monday and she's right now recuperating until mid-September. I miss her a lot, it's not the same walking past the IC and not seeing her at her desk. You'll always be in my prayers, Sharron.

Anyway, school hasn't started yet and my schedule is already getting crazy, LoL. I have mandatory orientation next Wednesday and Thursday, but I also work in Pierpont both days. To top it off, Baits move-in is on Monday and Wednesday, which means I have to show up at my new job at Baits, which is gonna be tricky 'cause I'll be at Pierpont during the move-in hours. Nyahaha... what to do, what to do. So I hafta sit down and really think about how I'm gonna maneuver around schedules that seem to be un-maneuverable.

I guess my plan of going somewhere else at the beginning of September is gonna have to be put on hold, since I don't even have classes lined up yet. I'm excited about starting school. It should be exciting. I figured, I have my whole life to go into the work force, but I only have this chance to go back to school on a near-clear conscience and extremely reduced tuition fee, Lol. Better make the best of my chance.

Yesterday Wann, Nick, Azwan, Fer and Nik came over to my house for a few round of DDR. So glad Kristen (girl who lives underneath my apartment) isn't home yet, 'cause we were really abusing my floor and coincidentally, her roof. Earlier that evening Wann, Nick, Nik and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. Of course we had the wings at (somewhat) greatly reduced prices, LoL. That's the only reason why I would show up there on Tuesdays. I'm getting into the habit of asking Nik to buy stuff for me, not 'cause I really need them but just to see the "is-she-kidding-me-I'm-broke-so-hell-no" expression on his face. Nyahaha. Klakar dowh. Dah masuk scholar nanti belanje noh..... Tuptim ke.. Red Lobster. LoL.

Today is kinda hectic at work. Can't wait to go home and get some shut eye. I almost missed work this morning. Thank goodness I got here on time (somewhat) ... or at all. It's a little hard when you wanna have it all: work, social life, school, your sanity ..... Especially when in the summer you're supposed to be enjoying things. But it'll be worth it. I'll have spending money for my car and cell phone (maybe even a little bowling), at least I get to see my friends more than I have all year, and going to school means that further along the road, my paycheck is gonna get bigger LoL.

I do want it all. And I'm determined to have it all. Even if it means less sleep more coffee.

Assalamu'alaikum.........

Nyahahaha.... I'M BACK BITCHES!!!!!!! Hahaha... just kidding. But I'm back to updating my blogger (sorta) regularly right now. Nyahahah. And again. Nyahahahaha. Did you guys missed me? Betcha you did, LoL. And here I am back again to dish out my crazy thoughts and rantings.

Thank you thank you thank you to Fer for helping me with the blogger bug. Thankee thankee thankee :) . Yay!

Some things have been going kinda well (yay!) and some haven't (bummer ...). I'm excited that I'm still here to continue grad school (yay!) but Rackham still hasn't admitted me into the school yet (bummer...). Which means I'm not officially a student yet (bummer....) but a lot of people are working with me so that I CAN start school in the fall (yay!). I'm excited. Grad school should be interesting, to say the least.

I wish I can relay EVERYTHING that has happened, but there's just too much stuff goin' on. Lol. My days are pretty predictable these couple of weeks. Get up, go to work, come back from work, lunch, DDR (or gym, or just walk around on Central), lepaks, then it was off to Fer's and Azwan's for singing or poker.

I can actually play poker now. Yay! I told my mom. She laughed but she told me don't start gambling, it always starts out small and then yada yada yada yada... I pretty much tuned her out after she said "don't". I told her I've been away from her for 5 years in high school, and another 4 years halfway across the world from KL, and yet I'm still pretty much the same girl that she raised before I came to the US. I don't drink, I'm not a ho, I'm not doing drugs, I've never even SEEN weed. I told her that unless my Plans From Above says differently, I am not planning any major changes in my personality anytime soon :) . She couldn't argue with that logis, LoL. I love my mom :) .

Oh, and while we're still on the subject of ho's........ I'm just gonna put this on the table and hopefully not offend anyone even though I was pretty offended myself. I'm really proud of my sorority. I learned a lot. I had study partners because of my sorority and I had friends from all around the country who are very dear to me. Most of all, I had sisters. These are the people that I care about. So DO NOT use the word "sorority bimbos" around me. Ever. And I mean this in the most serious way possible. If you're not a girl, you don't even have the right to even UTTER the word "bimbo" in my presence. Deragatory words can only be used playfully if the trust factor is there between all parties involved. Even then, we shouldn't take it lightly 'cause it can hurt. So please, please PLEASE don't diss sororities around me, especially since you know I was in one. Not all of us fit the stereotype.

Phi Rho love :) .

Okay, I gotta get back to work. Thank you again Fer for fixing my layout for me, you're the best :)!

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum.....

A lot of things has happened over the weekend, not to me personally but just in general. Last night the Detroit Pistons lost to the San Antonio Spurs 95-96 (if I remember correctly, somebody should check the papers for me). Dennis and I didn't watch it 'cause we wanted to catch the Spiderman 2 showing at Top of The Park, but Dennis kept tabs on the score through his cell phone, and we were rooting all the way, even when the game went into overtime. It actually works pretty well for me 'cause I barely watch whenever the game's on anyway, I just like knowing who wins, heheh. As you can tell, I'm not the best fan in the world. But I will kick your butt if you ever diss our Pistons.

On another note, Formula One weekend in Indy didn't go so well. I sympathize to those of you who did go and paid for tickets just to watch 6 cars compete. It sucks to go there all the way and pay for all that money and to be dissapointed that way. For those of you who are going "wha..?" while reading this, 14 cars pulled out of the F1 race in Indianapolis because they were using Michelin tires that couldn't handle one of the turns that the cars were supposed to take. The remaining six cars all used Bridgestone tires... which included Ferraris driven by Michael Schumacher (who apparently scored his first win of the season in Indy) and Rubens Barrichello.

So now the upper echelon of the F1 organizations are debating if tickets should be refunded to fans. To be honest, it probably doesn't matter, 'cause everything's ruined anyway. People dished out a lot of money to buy plane tickets or rent cars just to watch their favorite teams compete. Refunding tickets would just be like trying to put an itty bitty band-aid on a big gashing wound. I'm sure a lot of the fans are debating whether or not they would wanna come again next season after this fiasco.

Which bings me to MY own dissapointment..... the comment made by Formula One head Bernie Ecclestone about Danica Patrick, a female race-car driver who's making waves by (finally) shaking-up the male-dominated world of racing. Reading what Ecclestone said about Danica would make just about any female blood boil. The article below is taken from FOXSports.com:-

Danica Patrick has surged onto the open-wheel racing world, but that might not be sitting well with the old-school boss of Formula One racing.

Formula One is getting its most high-profile United States presence with the U.S. Grand Prix at Indianapolis Motor Speedway this weekend, but Formula One chief Bernie Ecclestone doesn't seem to be too crazy about Patrick joining her male competitors on the track, despite her recent Indy 500 success.

"She did a good job, didn't she? Super. Didn't think she'd be able to make it like that," Ecclestone told a gathering of reporters about Patrick's Indy 500 finish.

"You know, I've got one of these wonderful ideas that women should be all dressed in white like all the other domestic appliances," Ecclestone added.

Ecclestone has controlled Formula One for 25 years, amassing a fortune estimated at $3.7 billion. He has a holding company which operates some of F1's commercial ventures, ranging from television rights to sponsorships.

But nine of the F1's 10 teams are in dispute with Eccletone and others over the running of the sport and have threatened to start their own series in 2008. Only Ferrari has signed to stay with Ecclestone after the 2007 season.

Domestic appliances...... DOMESTIC APPLIANCES??? What the fuck?? Liking women to "domestic appliances" is so wrong in so many ways. Not only are you saying that women should stay at home where we "belong", but you're liking us to just things that are used when needed, discarded when not. We are not even human to you!! How do you even sleep at night? How can you even walk on this earth with such an over-inflated ego? And how can people tolerate this male chauvinist pig who should be condemned to life without his penis? Bernie Ecclestone, go eat shit and die, you bastard, I hope one day Danica Patrick would kick your ass till you beg for mercy, and I hope your lil' F1 empire crumbles before your very eyes. Judging from last weekend's fiasco... I might not have to wait too long.

Assalamu'alaikum....

Yesterday Angela took me to Detroit after letting me shop at 12 Oaks for about 2 hours. As I got out of the car, sh told "Don't you go buying anything now, get some nice lunch". My response... "Are you kidding?". I haven't had a shopping mall all to myself for quite a few months now. Since I only 2 hours, I basically had to do sme power shopping, the same technique I use whenever I'm in a new mall: just walk around and do a on-over, take mental notes of which shops you might want to come back to, put a fast upbeat song on your CD (or iPod), and start shopping. The one-over is extremely important, basically cuts your shopping time in half 'cause if you know you can't afford Ann Taylor and J Crew dresses, and they are at one end of the mall next to Lord and Taylor, then stay the heck away from that part of the mall. I ended up with quite a few bargain: a couple of tops from the buy-1-get-1-free rack in Weat Seal; discounted cami, t-shirt and cardigan from Express (further discounted 15% because I opened a new account which I immediately payed off); and some earring from Claires (buy-2-get-1-free). LoL. The one thing that I wish I could've bought was this wide armed ringed knit top from Bebe that is just so New York summer fabulous.... unfortunately it costs 59 bucks sans taxes and it was also not on sale. Damn . That top was cute, and it so goes with everything 'cause I can wear a cami under it when I wanna be more sexy, and I can wear a fitted long-tee under it if I wanna be more demure. I also gotten myself some TCBY ice-cream, which I promptly threw away after finishing less than a quarter of it. Just couldn't down it all.

Afterward, we headed to Detroit to do some sight-seeing. It was pretty awesome, considering that before this, my only views of Detroit came from either a plane window or a Greyhound bus window. It was really, really a city, where there are a lot of tall buildings and everyone drives like a maniac (truly a motor city). We went down Woodward, which separates the east and the west part of Detroit, and we went down Jefferson where all the kids were hanging out ( I told Angela, everyone seems to wear things that are either too baggy or too small). We saw the Comerica Stadium where they had a baseball game going on and we could see all of the people sitting on the bleachers. We saw a lot of the things that I only saw on TV before: Fox Theatre, Fischer Theatre, Detroit Opera House, Detroit Institute of Arts, Henry Ford Medical Center, Hart Plaza (where they hold a lot of events and concerts), the building where Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick holds office, the football stadium, Greektown Casino, MGM Grand, a church next to MGM Grand so that all the gamblers can pray for their sins after losing all their money at the MGM Grand (heheheh)..... my fingers are numb from typing too fast. Let's just say we say a lot of buildings. Hang on.

Okay.. moving on. There were also this big giant statue of a guy, who is now wearing a Pistons jersey. Go Pistons! In fact, there are quite a few artwork on display in the city (I myself can't really create art, but I just love looking at them). My favorite would be the itty-bitty cars that they have on display in random parts of the city. Angela grew up in Detroit, so I got a nice history lesson too along the way. It's pretty cool, I didn't realize that Detroit was quite that old. I was pretty impressed. They also had a lot of construction going on to get ready for next year's Superbowl. Every corner we turned, there was some sort of a building coming up. Ergo, traffic was pretty bad, especially down Jefferson. Kids were even coming out of their cars and dancing in the street 'cause of the traffic. It just tickles me silly looking at all of these young girls walking down in packs, looking like they think they "all that", heheh. I mean, I do it whenever I'm alone just because of self-preservation, people are more likely to bother you if you look scared and you're female, but I never feel a need for that when I'm with friends, and I certainly don't do it with my gut hanging out and half of my ass trying to burst out of a lycra skirt begging to be freed. Angela's not loving the young ones' outfit either.

Afterwards we went over to Angela's mom, Bernice's house to say hi and take in a pitt stop, before going over to Eric's place (he's Angela's fiancee) to also say hi. Then it was off to Angela's house to feed her 4 kids (they're really cute) and me going home afterwards... with a bucket of KFC and two bags filled with new clothes (harta2 rampasan, hehehe). All in all, it was a good, good day.

And now I hafta bust my ass writing this atrocious dance paper. That's what you get when you spend spring taking ballet and doing grand battements, tendues and plies in class 2 times a week for 1-1/2 hours. Ouchie. Well at least I now have ballet slippers... so cute.

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum.....

I've been having a miserable couple of days lately. Uncertainty about life, in general, is never good. Uncertainty about what the hell am I gonna do if funding doesn't come through is downright killing me. I have a paper to write, a letter to compose, a program to clean up.... and here I am, updating my journal. Figures.

After many unsuccessful attempts to "obtain" songs from Mariah Carey's new album, I finally have all of 'em. Dennis had to walk me through the whole process, but I finally have "Emancipation of Mimi" songs blaring through the house. I do love Mariah's voice. Not the greatest actress, but we can't do everything now can we?

I have a few new favorites right now. While I still love Venus and Serena (such positive role models, it just show you don't have to be butch to be athletic, you don't have to look anorexic to be sexy), I'm also loving Maria Sharapova, winner of Wimbledon 2004 and now, a Canon Powershot girl. She makes people wanna say..... Anna who? It's a good thing that Kournikova has "retired" (right?), or else we might see some serious catfights going on. The resemblance between the two of them is kinda uncanny though, although Maria looks a bit like Brittany Gastineau in some of her photos.... which isn't bad considering that Brittany is a model who has just appreared in Maxim's Hot 100 list for 2005.

Angela's gonna take me to Detroit tomorrow so I can see the "real" Detroit. Can you imagine, after 4 years living in Michigan, I haven't really been to Detroit yet? I mean, I've passed through it to get to the airport, but that was it. However, before we go, she needs to go to a presentation for her vacation, so Angela's gonna drop me off at the mall first and I'll have about an hour to walk around and shop. Yay shopping!! Retail therapy... yummy. I'm gonna buy me a few handbags and shoes and earrings and tops and pants.... LoL. Actually I might just get a pair of new earrings and if here's a payless, then maybe a pair of new shoes.

I'm sleepy, I wish I can go home and just sleep, it has been a long night. A friend asked me about the entry, and apparently my rant managed to make somone slightly "nervous" because that someone thinks he/she fits into that description. Well, it does fit, but it's not you honey. Weird, isn't it, how people can do stupid hurtful things to you no matter what gender they are. I've heard "Guy friends are easier to have" .... yeah right. "Girl friends are way better, they are always there for you".... well not always, apparently, and the dissapointment of realizing that your girl doesn't have your back can be quite overwhelming.

Wassalam..

Assalamu'alaikum....

It's 2.25am, and I still can't sleep. Uh-oh.... I can NOT miss work tomorrow. Anyway, today was pretty packed for me with trying to finalize some documents, kickboxing and of course, DDR. However, after kickboxing today, Ayun and I ditched butts 'n gutts and decided to do some retail therapy instead at Briarwood Mall. I came out with two new spaghettis and one printed top. Awesome :)~ . Anyway, on the way there, Ayun told me something that , if I was a better woman than I am right now, I would go check that "thing" out. As it is, I'm a bitch, so whatcha gonna do about it? I realized that for a person who's only 5 ft 3, I can pack a lot of anger in my frame, heheh, 'cause even after kickboxing (and loads of.. ermm... imagining stuff), I was still itching for.. ermm... payback. Heheh. When the heck did I become so vindictive.

Today was certainly NOT my day. Everything that could go wrong, did. I can't even think about today without feeling tired. Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that spring is NOT my season, 'cause every single big drama in my life happens during the summer. Maybe having too much free time on my hands is not so good for me.

Time to be vague... people, stop reading right now 'cause I'm gonna stop making sense.

Things happen, shit happens, good things happen. For the same event, a lot of people would feel different things, Just because something good happened, doesn't mean everyone will be happy about it. And vice versa, not everyone feels bad when shitty things happen. For example, if shit happens to people that I don't really like, such as a certain academic advisor, I would be jumping up and down for joy. But that's just me.

I am extremely stubborn. Very much so. I make up my own mind about something and until I want to change it, then that's the way it's gonna be. I also don't read other people's blogger unless someone's gettin' married or I REALLY, REALLY have nothing to do. I can love people with all my heart and I can also hate with every fibre in my being. I can also feel things in between those two extremes. I can be an angel and I can be a bitch. I can be everything in your dreams and I can also be your living nightmare. I can be your best friend one moment and completely turn on you the next. I can be your lover today and your enemy tomorrow. Whatever part I play in your life, dear reader, is completely up to you and the things you do for me and especially the things you do to me.

I like it when things are out in the open. I like to know that I can trust my friends. I like to be able to be comfortable in my own skin and not feel like the pair of jeans in your closet that you only wear when you have absolutely NOTHING else to wear. I like being needed, but I don't like being used. I especially don't like feeling I'm the dirt beneath some else's shoes. I hate knowing that there are so many people in my life that fits into "that" description, in one way or another. I hate knowing there are so many people NOT in my life who also fit into "that" description. Whatever "that" is, dear reader, is something that I cannot be bothered to explain.

I need things to be settled quickly. I hate procrastinating when it comes to things that really matter to me. I hate that two years ago, you hurt me, and now you're back and you expect things to be okay. Too bad, honey, because you're two years too late. You sat on your ass and did NOTHING, you deserve nothing from me, and especially not the best of me. Just because I tolerated your shit before doesn't mean I feel the same way now. Especially not with the other things that are happening in my life. Eat shit and go die, biatch, I might not hold a grudge for the smaller things but there was nothing small about what you did.

There.

Assalamu'alaikum.....

I GOT INTO GRAD SCHOOL!!! Woohooooo!!!!!

I was extremely happy to get the admission letter ("conditional", I still have to provide a few stuff). It's from the School of Information, and it's right here at the University of Michigan, and the program is currently rated second best in the States. So I'm gunning for a Master of Science in Information. I was so happy yesterday that I just jumped around outside my apartment for a bit, and then inside for a good 10 minutes. Then I had to call home, and it all came to a screeching halt.

I thought nothing could take away my high, even the thought that I might not get funding for school. But I called home, and my sister-in-law answered. My mom was putting my niece to sleep. Then my mom came to the phone. I told her about the school and the admission letter and all that other stuff that I was excited about. Needless to say, I didn't get the reaction I was hoping for. I thought she'd be excited about it and forget everything and just concentrate on what I have to say (for once). Instead everyone at home are still preoccupied with the kiddies and their antics and the "oh how cute, she's drooling". I wasn't expecting that... at all. Like no one really cared about this letter that I had worked my butt off to get. I mean, for God's sakes, they were HERE!! They saw how hard I worked to get my project done and get a good grade, how much I tried to ensure that my recommendation letters, despite my average grades, would pull me away from the rest the applicants and make me stand out. How much I worried about my personal statement essay because I didn't spend as much time on it as I should have.

The "Congratulations!" didn't come, neither did the "I'm so proud of you". All they care about are the babies. All the could think about was loving their grandkids, well how about me? How about some validation from my own parents? How can they not see how much I've wanted this? Why is it that whenever I call home, all they can talk about are the kids? I'm your daughter, your ONLY daughter!! And I've done good! Why can't I make you care?

I was so happy... and now all I want to do is forget about everything, get a tub of Ben and Jerry's and just binge eat in front of the TV. Last night I should've been celebrating, if not with friends then at least rejoicing with my family. Instead I spent it crying into a pillow until I fall asleep.

Looks like another bleak day for me.

Assalamu'alaikum....

Dang, I'm getting pretty regular about updating my blog ... even tho I actually have nothing to report, LoL. Yesterday's kickboxing was pretty lame, but the Butts and Gutts class really kicked my butt. The instructor was screaming and doing all these stuff that I am very sure is not very good for my back, hahah, but I sweated like a pig in a sauna. It was BAKING yesterday, the weather was so hot. I was so not in the mood to do anything yesterday that I even took an observation day for dance class.

Talking about dance class .... John is so cute, hahah. He's the guy who's been helping me with the moves that were taught earlier in the semester, when I missed 4 classes. He is such a gentleman, I wish there are more guys like him. If it's not for one slight problem, I would totally go for John, LoL, but right now I'm totally happy being friends with him.

Anyway, after getting our butts kicked, Ayun and I went to have dinner at China Gate. It was surprisingly yummy. We were both really tired and hungry and basically scarfed down our food as fast as we could go. There was this really cute Chinese baby boy that kept waddling past our table. He was sooooo cute, and he had on this Mickey Mouse bib that was so precious. *Sigh*... I love babies... Elly cepatlah beranak.

Today, the water alert was lifted. Yay! It's back to tap water for me. Angela made coffee again this morning, which is quite possibly the best coffee I've had in a really long time... and it's free! She also revamped the snack area we have, so now everything's neat and in plain view. She's so awesome. She also has a tendency to call me "mama", which is kinda ironic 'cause she's the one who babies me, LoL. Coming to work isn't quite so boring anymore (",) .

Anyway, I managed to sneak out and buy me some salad for lunch, so I'm gonna go eat now (sooo hungry). Will probably pen in some stuff again tomorrow. Ciao!

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum.....

Okay, so this big ol' pipe on Plymouth Rd managed to blow up, and now we have low pressured water all around North Campus, which basically sucks because it really puts a damper on things like, say, taking a dump. Takleh cebok. Anyway, because the watermain broke, the tap water is no longer drinkable, so now we have to boil water. It's like Malaysia all over again. What tickles me pink right now is how the Americans on NC are handling it, heheheh. This morning the water pressure is back to normal, but you still have to boil the water before drinking. Espresso Royale is closed for today, which makes me wonder how they've been making coffee all this time (I assumed they've been using boiled water all this time and they have like a big ol' boiling thingy in the back.... guess they don't). Merry somehow managed to find boiled water from somewhere, so we still have coffee in the office this morning, but since the coffee is gone, we are (apparently) not washing anything out until the tap water is drinkable again (again, assumption, but we really are not washing anything right now).

Compare that to back home where we still have to boil water for drinking but we're okay with washing out cooking utensils and clothes in normal, unboiled water. Can you see the difference? It doesn't bother me to wash out dishes right now, if I'm inclined to do so, because that's what we do back home. However, I don't wanna freak out anyone in the office by washing out the coffee pot while the water advisory is still in effect. So this brings out the question: are the Americans being too paranoid, or are we Malaysians being too lax with our health?

Angela asked me yesterday, what I want to do with my life, what kind of a job am I looking for? I said I wanted something hands-on. I'm still young, and I think that it would be a waste for me to just sit behind a desk and just sign papers and approve things. I want to get my hands dirty. I want my life and my job to be a series of learning experiences instead of being stuck in one mode and never being able to venture out. I want to be challenged... constantly. I know I've complained a lot about things being sooooo hard for me (LoL), but this summer, after being on my current job for a month now, I realize that I am bored out of my mind. Predictability is nice for a while, but after that I just get... restless. Dammit I want to learn. I wanna go out and be useful instead of just being there ..... which is kinda in direct contrast with what I want personally. For me private life, stable and safe is definitely the way to go. No more drama, please.

And talking about personal life... I'm pretty volatile right now. Not that I blow up easy, but something might bother a lot more now than it would before. I hate feeling like this, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Yesterday Wann and I went to Briarwood and shopped. Emmm... shopping: good. Bought a couple of new stuff for my collection... and realized that I may have to return one of 'em. Aiseh. Balik try kat umah tetibe tak cantik lah plak, antu betul. Kene pulang balik. So kene gie Briarwood balik... shopping balik. LoL. Tetibe rindu zaman dating (yg tak kantoi punye type... lol). Time2 camtuh kalau nak tau kalau bende tuh patut di beli ke idak... tgk je muke org seblah.

Senyum = cantik2... sile lah beli
Selambe (pastu cakap "boleh lah") = cam boleh carik better
Mate terbelalak (pastu tgk2 wallet) = mahal noh! nak bayar sendiri bleh lah
Tgk tempat lain = tak pedulik dah cantik tak cantik, penat nie, jom gie makan

Kan senang.

Assalamu'alaikum....

First of all.... just wanna say... forget about what I wrote previously. LoL. I was being waaaaaaayyyyy too optimistic. Things can feel fine one minute and the next, you're suddenly reminded why you were really miserable before. So you can either be mature and act like it doesn't bother you, or you can be human and let it go in your own time. Being human is easier, LoL. I want to be happy, and I want to feel safe. And I'm not over it yet.

Weekend was spent very relaxingly. Max's BBQ on Saturday. Birch Run and bowling on Sunday. Alisa's going home on Friday (ooppss...). Tetibe ade tulis pasal Alisa kan. Alisa's leaving on Friday to go home! I'm gonna stowaway on one of her luggages and go home too! Ahaks! Leaving here and going home early is sounding more and more (and more) appealing day by day. Maybe I should.....

Actually, I'm just trying to figure out what I wanna do for the summer. I can't really go anywhere outside of the US, so that just leaves me with ... well, the US. My best friends are all at home (which begs the question... why am I not home yet?) so that means no trips with them. Yanie wants me to go to Dublin and visit her for a bit, but there might be some I-20 issues with that and I don't know if I can risk it or not. Oh decisions decisions.... and of course there's Montreal :) .

I just realized on Saturday that I basically suck at everything. As in I'm not particularly good at anything specific. I'm average in school, average in basketball, suck at everything else resembling sports and average in cooking. My dancing is decent at best, so is my singing, and I have no other talent whatsoever. I can't even play the piano anymore, I've forgotten so much and I'm so much out of practice. Average looks, average height...... I mean, I can honestly say that I'm a nice person, but in this world nobody really cares about that. Average person ... scary. Wish I can break free of all the mediocrity and actually be really good at SOMETHING.

On Sunday, I realized that I can talk to a person, fall asleep, wake up and continue the conversation like nothing happened... even though I was asleep for about 10 minutes. Who woulda thunk.

And now it's Monday. I'm as sleepy as shit. Work started at 8.30 am this morning. After a full day yesterday, all I want to do right now is just crawl back into bed and catch some more z's. But when I came in this morning, I had to go help Merry set up a room for a CoE conference. And after that I managed to get myself talked into a few other jobs that totally required me to be awake. This morning the office is, in Angela's words, really "jumpin' ". Out of all the days, it has to be the day that I'm sleepiest for alllllllllll o' this to happen. Right now I'm just waiting for 1.30pm to come by so I can go home and sleep my mood off.

Oh God, I'm sleepy.. I'm just gonna go get some caffeine in me and walk around a bit. Ciao!

Wassalam...

Assalamu'alaikum....

Midwest weekend, and I will be here in Ann Arbor instead of galivanting in UIUC with my friends. Nobody's gonna be here, place will be almost deserted .... bliss. It's not that I don't like people in general, but sometimes you need some privacy that extends beyond your bedroom. When it's sunny, Northwood is absolutely beautiful, and I can't wait to have a day to myself this weekend when I can just lay out on my picnic blanket, bask in the sun and read a good book. Hey, when you're naturally tanned like I am, you should definitely make the most of your abilities to lie out in the sun and not look like a cooked lobster. Bliss.

My tummy is rumbling a bit, pro'lly due to the super super super HOT "sambal ikan bilis" that I cooked yesterday to eat with some coconut rice (or as we Malaysians call the dish, "nasi lemak".... literally meaning "fat rice". Go figure). I know Ayun is pro'lly suffering, too, right now, she was the recipient of my extra hot, just-came-out-of-the-blender chilli peppers. I was in the bathroom for the longest time this morning, LoL. My wristwatch was 1/2 an hour late, so I ended up half an hour late for work, too. And I thought I was making good time. Angela and Merry just laughed at my rotten luck when I came into the office, looked at the wall clock, looked at my watch and just went "Oh, man!". Angela's advice: forget the wristwatch next time, just go for your cell phone. Good advice.

I got a nice email from someone this morning. There is no greater feeling than knowing that your friendship is valued simply because it's YOUR friendship, not because of the material things that you can provide or becaue you're a doormat and people can just walk over you. It'll be hard, and I mean, I was really hurt over her choice of actions and in a lot of ways, I probably have to be a lot more careful now until I can trust her again, but friendships that you actually want to keep are hard to forge, and I'm not a mean person by nature. I saw her effort, saw that she's really trying to get me back, and mostly saw that she really CARES that I'm hurting.

That's the thing about people. I thought I'd be mad at her forever, or at least for the next few years anyway, and I thought our friendship was over and done for. However, she was earnest about mending things, and although I'm still feeling some negative emotions, I'm willing to work them out just so that I don't lose her. To be honest I didn't make things easy for her , all I wanted to do was to run away from all the things that were hurting me and protect myself from being vulnerable over and over again, so I ignored her. Her perseverance won me over though, I saw that she cares and she doesn't assume that given time I'd be okay, she actually made a huge effort to at least try and make things better. I truly and honestly appreciate that, in more ways than anyone can imagine. She extended the olive branch, and I have decided to take it.

Maybe you're wondering why I'm being so forthcoming and open about this, that I can speak about this so candidly even though this is, in all actuality, very private for me. Here's why: I don't like it when people just assume things. Assume that I'll be okay when I won't. Assume that I'll react in a certain way when I'm more intelligent than that. Assume that since nothing fazes me anymore, nothing hurts me anymore too. People make so many assumptions about things that they know nothing about. I know this because in a lot of cases I find that I'm guilty of doing it too. So no more assumptions. I'm laying the facts down bare and naked for people to read.

The fact is I'm not mean. If you show effort, I'll definitely meet you halfway. Thing is, I need to know that what I put out is not in vain. Sometimes you just need certain confirmations because maybe something happened and you just need to know.... know that it's still worth working towards, worth fighting your demons for, worth hanging on to, 'cause like I said, a good friendship is so hard to forge. Of course when you have it you don't want to let it go.

I need people to know that I never, never, never take my decisions lightly. They might not be the best course of actions, and they might be more motivated by emotions rather than thought, but these decisions are mostly made because I feel like there is no other way out. Call it a defense mechanism if you will. Sometimes I act out in certain ways as a test to someone, which in many aspects is so very not fair... 'cause I'm setting up the person to fail, since he/she doesn't know what the "test" is or that he/she is being "tested" at all.

But here's the trick: for every test, there's a sure-fire way to pass ..... I need to know that you actually care. You don't have to go all-out, all I need is a small confirmation that yes, no matter how small the feeling is, you do care that our friendship now has a rift. I need the comfort of knowing that I'm not alone, that I'm not the only one who actually care enough about the relationship. This is basically what's going through my head when I have a conflict with any of my close friends, girls or guys. The cause might be different, but ultimately the end result is always the same. That aside, I also know that if I'm wrong, that I am not afraid to say I'm sorry. My ego isn't that inflated. And in certain cases, I'll even apologize even when I feel I'm right just because I know the issue is important to the other person more than it does me.

But reciprocate, dammit, I'm selfish enough to expect certain things in return. Which is why when I read that email (refer to beginning of blog), I was relieved. The state of emergency is over, Lol... well at least this one anyway. She cares enough to try. Which is all I ever really wanted, 'cause everything else can click in place if we can at least show each other that we appreciate one another.

Couple that incident with the little "conference" that I had last night with someone else (I'm not gonna go into details 'cause I know for a fact this person reads my blog and I don't wanna embarrass the both of us by being mushy LoL, plus this one is a little more private. Suffice to say ... baby steps :) ), I have to admit that my girl friends are really going above and beyond this time, which is a nice change of pace from thinking that no one gets you. It's nice to know that people can still pleasantly surprise you with their depth... and their perseverance...... and mostly their respect.

Right now I'm truly blessed :) .

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum....

Because I have no idea what to write and I am currently very bored... here's another survey for your viewing pleasure.....

AT THIS VERY MOMENT:-

Current Clothes: grey office pants, Old Navy black top, pink tudung, Nike shoes and socks.. oh, and my "smart glasses (",)~~

Current Mood: relaxed

Current Music: none, Merry doesn't have her radio on, but I was listening to The Corrs like a minutue ago

Current Taste: Folgers coffee

Current Make-up: none, except sunscreen

Current Hair: waaayy past my shoulders, still straight

Current Smell : coffee... emmm...

Current thing U ought to be doing: definitely NOT doing another survey

Current Desktop Picture: nothing, it makes everything go slow, I'm not a screensaver person

Current Favorite Artist: ooohh.. tough one .. I'd say Sarah McLachlan

Current Favorite Group: used to be Maroon 5, now I dunno.... I like Keane a lot... actually scratch that, if I'm perfectly honest, I'm a Whitesnake girls, with Def Leppard a close second

Current Book: The Secret Letters of Vincent Van Gogh

Current CD in CD Player: Mixed CD I cooked up myself

Current tape in VCR: Magnolia... it's raining frogs!

Current Color Of Toenails: not wearing nail polish at all, but my big toe is blueish 'cause I managed to kick the door to my toilet

Current Worry: how to compose a really tricky email... hmm.. oh, and my JPA letter... and the answer to my grad school application.. gosh, there's a lot to worry about

LAST PERSON...

You touched: as if I keep track, it could be some random on the bus for all I care

You Talked to: Merry

You Hugged: prolly Mbak Oliv at Mya's party

You Instant messaged: Mbak Oliv definitely, we had an sms-fest the other day

You Yelled At: no idea, I try not to yell to people so much, biting sarcasm works so much better

You Kissed: as if I keep track of this one, too, LoL.... kidding, truth be told, I just don't remember the name


CURRENT FAVORITE...-

Color: always and forever P-I-N-K.. Victoria's Secret pink to be exact

Shoes: my pink sandals I got from Payless .... c'mon summer, I need you to arrive

Candy: Nerds by Willy Wonka

Animal: cats

Show: Desperate Housewives, Gilmore Girls, One Tree Hill, The Inferno, America's Next Top Model, CSI ... that's my weekly lineup right there

Movie: Have to be "Kingdom of Heaven" even tho I missed the first hour of it LoL

Song: JLo's "Get Right", Mario's "You Should Let Me Love You" and Jojo's "Leave"... yes they're pretty old... oh, and Gewn Stefani's "Hollaback Girl"

Fruit: peach and banana

Cartoon: South Park of course

ARE YOU...

Understanding: I try to be, whether I am or not only my friends can really tell

Open-minded: Yep, mostly

Arrogant: Nope, sometimes obnoxious but I have no idea how to be arrogant

Insecure: Yeah, actually, there's so many things that I want to change but can't

Interesting: if you take the time to know me, I can be (",)

Random: not really

Hungry: yeah, haven't had lunch yet

Friendly: yes, shy at first

Smart: alhamdulillah, in that department I'm blessed that I've made it as far as I have

Moody: sometimes

Childish: gosh yes

Independent: sometimes, but in certain areas I do rely heavily on my parents... but they're about the only ones that I feel comfortable relying on

Hard working: heck no

Organized: hahahaha, only when I'm really busy, mostly no

Healthy: getting there, I'm better than I was 2 weeks ago

Emotionally Stable: like right now, surprisingly yep

Shy: in big crowds, yeah, like first time meeting someone, definitely.... after being friends, I can't shut up.... but that only comes with trust

Difficult: sometimes yes, I expect a lot from myself and can sometimes transfer that feeling to other people too

Attractive: of course! hahaha kidding, I'm carrying some extra weight in my booty but hey, I'm still rocking it LoL

Bored Easily: yes, my attention span is 2 seconds flat

Messy: yep most definitely

Thirsty: no, had coffee, thanks for asking

Responsible: yes and no.... depends on if someone pissed me off or not

Obsessed: hahah with certain things, like time-consuming surveys... and reality TV shows... and babies

Angry: not at this moment, no,

Sad: a little, but I can't change that right now

Happy: let's just say I'm mellow right now

Hyper: nope

Trustworthy: I hope so, I strive to be but I'm not perfect

Talkative: with people I can trust, yeah

Loving : yep :)

Romantic : yep... a bit rusty at it, tho

Wahh.. habes jugak survey.....

Assalamu'alaikum....

Lame tak update blog ... Elly buat lawak sexy pun tak perasan.... Weekend nie Elly kawin... congrats lah ye Elly, mampu cakap from jauh2 nie je, tak mampu nak sendiri dtg, LoL. Tak sangke partner in crime dah nak jadi bini orang. Teringat lak bende2 *ehem* yg slalu pakat ngan Elly nak buat ... such as first time gie Necto ngan Elly.... dan sebagainye (kalau tulis sume skang mampus aku kene ketuk). No more Necto for you woman, hahaha. Clubbing kat umah je lah, buat anak, aku nak je jadi Auntie Farah, bleh belikan baju Osh Kosh B'Gosh. Anyway, lepas nie tulisan akan di conduct dalam Bahasa Inggeris semula in case Jen bace, die tak paham bahase.. melayu...

Anyway, these last few days have been kinda a blur for me. Sure, I had my ups and downs and some low, low points, but now everything is good and things are beginning to come together again for me. I've finally had my laundry done, folded, and safely stashed away in my closet, the big pile of dishes is gone now, I can finally see my bed again, and I finally have some space in my living room to actually play DDR again. Yay DDR!! Though now my time is limited to playing before midnight so that my neighbor Kristen doesn't get all pissed-off about it. Oh well.

Memorial Day weekend is coming up... or to some of us, Midwest Games weekend. I decided not to go, much to Rina's chagrin, but she'll be playing basketball, and all of my other UIUC friends are gonna be doing stuff , so where does that leave me? Nowhere. So I decided to stay home and catch up on other stuff... like sleep.... and save money for that trip to Montreal that I haven't had time to plan for. Besides, I've been to UIUC like almost every year now, and I still pretty much remember where everything is, LoL, so aside from the whole hanging out with friends thing, I'm not missing much. I'm sure it would've been fun, but I'm just not up to it.

Yesterday Mbak Oliv sms-ed me. I do miss her so. She was waiting for practice to start and got bored, so we messaged each other back and forth for a bit. Her cell phone contract expires today, so she was making the most of whatever sms that she had left. Her new house doesn't have cable, so I'm guessing she's extremely bored there in Minnesotta. Thinking about her is kinda bitter sweet for me, but I miss her (and dance class) like crazy.

Today, the new temp secretary, Angela, is coming in, so I've been booted off Sam's place at the front of the office to waaaaaayyy back at the building manager's spot. Now I have even LESS work than before, and if you've been a faithful reader of my blog, you now I haven't been doing much to begin with. So now I am basically just here killing time and brain cells, playing Dynomite and chatting with people. Sounds like easy money? Not when you consider the ungodly time I have to wake up every freaking day and the fact that whatever I do now revolves around work. However, I am grateful that money is coming in, so yay that.

My tummy hurts, so I'm just gonna get me some cereal drinks, maybe I'll pen in again later. Ciao! Love ya all muaakkss !

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum....

Okay, so I dropped Psych 111 ... I hate being sick so many times that I just keep missing class and work, so rather than keep on taking a class that I've lost interest in and can't catch up, I dropped it. Whcih sucks, because if I was actually in my right and normal healthy mind (instead of being foggy all the time... no I'm talking about smoking pot) I would've really enjoyed learning the concepts and understanding what REALLY goes through people's heads whenever they say something ... actually all I wanna do is to figure out guys and what they really mean whenever they say something, LoL. According to Jen, I'm an "airport for moron planes", and that I am " a butt when making choices". Ouch. I miss her.

Anyway, to keep my student status, I am taking a dance class that now requires me to go to Dancer's Boutique and buy a few stuff. La dee da. There goes some more money. Since the drop-add deadline has already passed, I'm kinda stuck with it, and since I've already missed 4 classes.... it's kinda hard catching up with the terminology and stuff, but I'm getting there. LoL. The dress code is pretty ridiculous, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Anyway, the rest of tha day is gonna pretty dull... and I'm bored right now.. so I'm gonna walk around and find stuff to do. Bye!

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum...

I missed work today... I haven't been sleeping well lately, or eating well either, it's a little hard to be healthy under these curcumstances. I haven't been able to exercise, my hands are shaking whenever I do anything (yesterday I dropped a mug on the floor, good thing it didn't break, just chipped), and when I called home, my mom was frantic 'cause I sounded awful. Thanks mom. Wish you're here to take care of me. My apartment is still filled with boxes 'cause I can't bring myself to do anything, my DDR pad is just sitting there waiting for someone to play with it.... It's jut a mess really. Oh, and I'm changing my Psych 111 from graded to pass/fail -- that's how "confident" I am in my performance this semester.

Yesterday I listened to my iPod and kept looping Jojo's songs... this is still my favorite one:

"Leave (Get Out)"

I've been waiting all day for ya babe
So won't cha come and sit and talk to me
And tell me how we're gonna be together always
Hope you know that when it's late at night
I Hold on to my pillow tight
And think of how you promised me forever
(I never thought that anyone)
Could make me feel this way
(Now that you're here boy all I want)
Is just a chance to say

[Chorus]
Get Out, (leave) right now,
It's the end of you and me
It's too late (now) and I can't wait for you to be gone
'Cause I know about her (who) and I wonder (why) how I bought all the lies
You said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time (waste of time)

Tell me why you're looking so confused
When I'm the one who didn't know the truth
How could you ever be so cold
To go behind my back and call my friend
Boy you must have gone and bumped your head
Because you left her number on your phone
(So now after all is said and done)
Maybe I'm the one to blame but
(To think that you could be the one)
Well it didn't work out that way

[Chorus]

I wanted you right here with me but I have no choice you've gotta leave
Because my heart is breakin'
With every word I'm sayin'
I gave up everything I had
On something that just wouldn't last
But I refuse to cry
No tears will fall from these ....
Eyes
Ooooh, ooooh
Get out

[Chorus x2]

Get out (leave)
You and me
It's too late (too late)
You ohh
Bout her (who, why)
You said that you would treat me right (noooo)
but it was just a waste of time (waste of time)

Ohhhh oh oh oh hoh oh

Assalamu'alaikum....

I'm just gonna say it right now that I cheated and I basically cut and paste this survey from my answer in that Friendster survey, so if you've read that one, this is the same thing. LoL... freaky survey, it asks me questions that I've been feeling a lot lartely, so I just thought I'd put this in as good measure.....


LAST PERSON WHO

x. Slept in your bed: my dad, I've been sleeping on the floor since my family left

x. Saw you cry: I think it was Afzan, but Mbak Oliv was the last one to hear me cry on the phone, LoL

x. Made you cry: can't answer this w/out being too obvious

x. You shared a drink with: Deera, I think, at Mya's party

x. You went to the movies with: Afzan -- watched The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and the last 1-1/2 hour of Kingdom of Heaven

x. You went to the mall with: my family.. they tore up Briarwood real good

x. Yelled at you: would an angry SMS considered yelling? Well, either way, can't answer this one either....

x. Sent you an email: my mom

HAVE YOU EVER. . .

x. Said "I Love You" and meant it?: Of course.. why say it if you don't mean it?

x. Gotten in a fight with your pet: yes! Cat pooped on the floor

x. Been to California: Yep, freshman year.

x. Danced naked: ... well not in front of people....

x. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: it didn't happen the next day, but it did happen a few days after

x. Wish you were the opposite sex: yeap, whenever I got my heart broken .. guys recover way faster than girls do

x. Had an imaginary friend: yep, probably a few of them

x. Do you have a crush on someone: yes and no.. one crush came to an abrupt and messy end ... another smaller one is still ongoing LoL
x. What book are you reading now: Psych 111 textbook.. exam on Friday, ugh

x. Worst feeling in the world: betrayal by someone you love ... then guilt

x. Future son's name: Don't think that far

x. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?: yeah, with Snowy my seal and a bear whom I've appropriately named Momence

x. Favorite sport to watch: ice-skating, or gymnastics ... is break-dancing a sport?

x. Siblings: 2

x. Location: Ann Arbor, Michigan

x. College plans: grad school ... ntah dapat ntah tak

x. Piercings: ears only, belly piercing plans were squished during sophomore year by someone's infection.. ewww...

EXTRA STUFF

x. Do you do drugs: nope

x. Do you drink: as in alcohol? nope, never and proud of it LoL .. not a lot of people believe that but it's true!

x. What clothes do you sleep in: PJs, or t-shirt and undies

x. Where do you want to get married: anywhere where my family is.. and his family of course

x. Who do you really hate: ugh.. hate to admit this.. a few people right now... it's actually more "hurt by" than "hate", but close enough

x. Been in Love: Yes

x. Do you drive: Yes, kinda sorta

x. Do you have a job: Part-time secretary, yay me.

x. Do you like being around people: depends on the people.. so yeah and no

x. Are you for world peace: yep

STUFF

x. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: LoL do actors count? If no, then not really, it wouldn't start out as him being unattainable, but it would progress to him being an absolute jackass

x. Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did: of course, did it the other day in fact

x. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: usually I go for people I connect with, looks were never that important, so yeah

x. Want someone you don't have right now: not anymore

x. Are you lonely right now: a bit

x. Song thats stuck in your head: nope

x. Do you want to get married: yes

x. Do you want kids: definitely

FAVORITE

x. Room in house: bedroom

x. Type(s) of music: it varies, pop mostly

x. Band(s): Evanescence, always

x. Color: PINK

x. Perfume or cologne: Victoria's Secret Heavenly and Very Sexy..also Issey Miyake's original perfume

x. Month: no preference

x. Stone: sapphire, ruby and diamonds

IN THE LAST WEEK, HAVE YOU...

x. Cried: yes-- friday, saturday, sunday, prolly even tomorrow...

x. Bought something: yep

x. Gotten sick: yes, was sick all week

x. Sang: every day

X. Wanted to tell someone you loved them: yes.. not anymore though

x. Met someone new: I wish

x. Hugged someone:yes.. Mbak Oliv before we left the party.

So there it goes.... that's about as honest as I can get with surveys... have a good week guys, love ya all!

Wassalam

Assalamu'alaikum......

Yesterday was pretty much wasted at home for me. I had a headache in the morning, which fortunatey got better in the afternoon. I then went to Pierpont to print out my psycho notes, which I had unwittingly write and saved in my office comp desktop. Why do I need the notes? Unlike oher "graduated" people, I still have summer class, which means I still have an exam. After printing out the notes, though, my motivation to study plummeted, my headache came back, and i just hauled ass back to my room for another round of TV and cozying under the blanket.

Right now I am so not motivated to do anything at all. I need to go buy shoes. Lotsa shoes. Maybe a couple of new handbags too. Dude, if there's a Dior store in Ann Arbor, I would be there in a flash and just waste whatever money I have on a purse (which is probably the ony thing I can afford anyway).

I gotta go take a bath and try to motivate myself to do ANYTHING. TV is getting lame. Later.

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum.....

Yesterday my mom told me that Kak Yann's Angah had just died in the hospital. Innalillah ...... It certainly puts quite a lot of things in perspective. Like how small my own problems are right now, and how helpless my sister-in-law must feel. Angah was only 34, and just had a baby who's 3 months old. Poor thing.

After work, after much debate with myself over the matter, I decided to go to Mas Wasi and Mbak Oliv's farewell party at Mya's house. Saying goodbye to Mbak Oliv later that night was so hard, it took everything I had to keep me from crying, and I have to say the fact that everyone was laughing and making jokes made the whole process easier. I cried so much earlier that day, in a way I didn't have much in me to cry again. One of the harder parts was keeping all other emotions in check, and though I slipped at times, I think I managed pretty well. Playing dodge in a party isn't so easy after all, even in a house as big as Mya's.

I couldn't sleep last night, it's just one of those nights I guess. Had a hell of a night tossing and turning and the fact that my throat was really bothering me didn't help either. The day has only started and already all I wanna do is sit under my quilt and drown my sorrows by watching reruns of any inane MTV show.

I just hate being sad.

Wassalam......

Assalamu'alaikum....

2 entries in one day... haven't done that in a long time. It can either be a good thing or a bad thing, but since I am crying my eyes out at work (Merry's short sighted, and I've been caughing a lot lately, so no one really notices anyway and I'm safe from being fired), then y'all can assume it's a bad thing then.

Know what I want? Right now I want to run away to a place where I don't have to feel any pain, be it physically, emotionally or mentally. I want to run away to a place where you can breathe everything good and all the bad thinsg are far, far away. I want to be where things are simple and simple to see, where you don't miss anything and everything is what you want it to be.

I want to be at a place where I can love and be loved in return. I want to be somewhere peaceful and quiet no one take anything for granted.. including me. I want to be at a place where saying nothing at all is equal to saying everything. I wanna be where the sun shines bright and the moon is brighter, where a smile is "Hello", a handshake is "I like you" and a kiss is "Be mine". I want to be at a place where I can have everything, only to realize that I actually need nothing.

Actually, all I want right now is to be free of everything.. free of responsibilities, free of pain, free of the expectations that as an adult, I have to act a certain way and I should feel a certain way or else I'm not mature enough or I'm not a good person .... or even worse, not good enough. Especially when I know I'm a good person and a good friend and a good daughter.

Sadness overcomes you, but what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right? So I'm just gonna do what I have to do fuck everyone who don't like the methods.

Wassalam...

Assalamu'alaikum....

Back at work again. Yesterday was a sucky day for me. I woke up at 7.00am feeling like someone had repeatedly hit my head with a baseball hat throughout the night, and my forehead also felt really hot (sure sign of fever). So I called the office and told them I won't be coming in that morning. There goes my gocery money for the week. Oh well. Good thing I had a 10.45 am appointment with Dr. Sullivan, I was ready to just be done with the whole sore throat and cold thing (it's been a week! my voice is ruined! ruined I tell you!). Anyway, as it was only 7am, I decided to just send Merry and Michael an email, took some Advil and went back to sleep.

Anyway, I woke up at 10am. I'm not the type who can immediately get ready in half an hour, but I managed to somehow. However, the bus that I was aiming for left just when I was a good few steps away from the bus stop. I began to panic considering that if I wasn't at the specialist office by 10.45am, he's just gonna go home and I'd be stuck with a red nose for an extra one week. So I called Is and thankfully enough he was already up and willing to help me out by sending me to UHS. Phew! My hero, LoL. Seriously, if he wasn't there, I would've been dead meat. We got to the UHS in just the nick of time. The doctor took a culture of my throat and sent it to the lab, so hopefully by today I know what I'm allergic to, if I am allergic to anything. In the meantime, Sudafed (or SudaGest, which is what I got from the pharmacy) is my best friend.

That afternoon was spent at home reminiscing the days when my voice was sexy and my nose wasn't red enough to stop traffic. LoL. Actually I was supposed to go out with Deera and Alisa to the mall but since I was sick they went on without me. Noooooo!! I wanna go shop too!!! LoL, actually I could barely keep my eyes open yesterday, so I just went back to sleep. I woke up feeling better, my face was less swollen and my head didn't feel quite so stuffy. Still, it sucked to miss day of work particularly when the day before, I had chosen to go to work instead of going to Cedar Point with Wann, Nik and Putri. Hopefully they had a better time there than I did at home (in fact, I'm sure they did). Alisa came and cooked me a nice "sup ayam" for dinner. Yummmmm..... thankee Tel!! You rock babe.

So here I am today, back at work. Michael and Merry had actual jobs for me today instead of just answering the phone and sorting the mail. Oh, and I called the clinic, apprently I don't have strep throat, which is good, but they're not telling what I do have... which is bad. So Thursday, the day before my Psych exam, I have an appointment with an "allergist" (?) at 10am, which means I gotta go and miss an hour of work that morning. Sucks so bad. I hate it when things interfere with me and my money, heheh.

Okay, I gotta go, ciao!

Wassalam.