Assalamu'alaikum...

It's damn 3 o'clock in the morning and I still can't sleep, probably due to the fact that I just did a very stupid thing. I was browsing through my Friendster and came upon some pictures, at somebody else's account (I haven't figured out camane nak block user gune Friendster), that made me feel like a big boulder just landed on my chest. It was as if I had a thousand knives and a thousand arrows simultaneously piercing through my heart and shredding it to pieces. Strange, how you would think you are past all of those things and yet even the dumbest things can trigger what I call the "Post-relation Cardiac". Like Bantut said, nak lupe, tapi kalau lupe, macam kering jadinye, so tak lupe (or something like that lah). My mom would be so mad if she finds out about this. Oh well....

I had a pretty boring day, saw Dennis, bought textbooks, dinner with Nik, slept. All the routine stuff. My room still looks like I'm housing refugee boxes, and my sleep cycle is still pretty much screwed up. On a brighter note, I recived my 100-dollar rebate from Sony today, and some nice "how-are-you-doing" messages from my friends and kinda-friends-but-I'm-not-sure. And my inboxes are, again, flooded with party invites, curtesy of my active sorority status. Strangely enough, the party lobe of my brain went into hibernation these past few days. I missed tonight's Dance Trilogy, though not intentionally, SOMEONE manage to do a wee bit of a mix up so there I was, all dressed up and no-where to go. Jen did say that will happen at least once in your life, so I guess my time was due. I changed back into my comfy PJs, tried to take care of my sore throat (ouchie... it hurts so bad), and tried to figure out what to do with my non-existent class schedule.... and school starts in 2 days. Isn't that a pickle.

On a not so bright note again... I think I'm coming down with the flu. Hopefully it'll go away by the timw school starts. My headache is going on overtime right now, so maybe I should stop tapping on my keyboard and go to sleep. But before I do, here's the lyrics to a song that I totally adore, it's so cool. It's by Sarah McLachlan, one of my favorites, sebab suare die ade quality berhantu sket, hahaha.... Lyrics has a weeeeeee bit story of my life in it, 'cause one does feel like one made a mistake that one can't redeem in the eyes of others, and that is truly, just messed up....

Fallen by Sarah McLachlan

Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
THe past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

I've fallen...I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
[2X]