Hari nie relatively penuh comparative to the days before. Pagi kelas macam biase, tapi tengah hari Jen datang to pick me up for lunch. Unfortunately for her, her car got towed. Bad luck gile. Die perasan mase tengah hari tuh when she was suppsed to pick me up. Nasib baik ade her friend yang tolong hantar us gie the police station then the towing company punye office. Time it took us to settle the whole thing: 2 hours. How much it cost Jen: over 200 bucks. Gile, 200 habes camtuh je for the car to sit in a trashy lot for 3 hours. Even Darren was surprised, the most he ever had to cough up was 170. Needless to say, our plan to hang out the whole day went up in a puff of smoke. We did go to Olive Garden after that to eat, though. My first time there, how pathetic is that. Food was extremely good, portion gile banyak sampai kene bawak balik. Jen even gave me her leftovers since she's going back to Midland anyway, so I had all these food with me...
Kesian ade orang tuh kene tunggu kat lounge, keskes. Sori ler... orang gie basuh tangan mase tuh, baru lepas basuh pots and pans. Alih-alih bukak pintu dah hilang. Muahahahah.... sori sori sori. Dah lah sakit, orang buat die lagi sakit. But anyway, thanks sebab tulun perabiskan food yang I cannot eat.
Later, around kol sepuloh camtuh, lepak bilek Ayun ngan the other girls tengok Maid in Manhattan. First time tengok movie tuh. Okay lah, lacking chemistry sket, malangnye for J.Lo cite tuh tak memorable langsung. If that was the film that was supposed to set her on the same par as Julia Roberts, then it failed miserably. Romantic comedies always churn out America's sweethearts, too bad this one didn't, heheh. The torch was passed from Julia to Reese Witherspoon (bile nak keluar Legally Blonde 2 ??), Jenny will just have to settle with just having a damn rich fiancee, a nice ass and a multi-million dollar franchise ( oh, and not to mention the million dollar body). Hmmm... doesn't sound all that bad now does it?
Tadi baru belajar main Bluff. Verdict: I'm not that good of a liar. Which is a good thing, right?

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BILE BOSAN, BUAT QUIZ


You are Morpheus, from "The Matrix." You
have strong faith in yourself and those around
you. A true leader, you are relentless in your
persuit.


What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

La la la... nasib baik dapat Morpheus. Kalau dapat Persephone sure sume org mati sebab gelak over sangat...err.. but I am definitely not a leader, I think too much kalau dapat responsibility. Yelah, tanak dissapoint others.

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FRIENDS FOREVER

From: Yanie
Date: May 28, 2003 5:51 AM
Subject: aku rindu pada mu...!!!
Message:
oit!!!akhirnye....yea!!!dpt gaks contek ko....hehehehe...oit..tak lupe tau kat ko...tak balik ek cuti ni..ala...aku balik....kalo bleh nak cite panjang ni...tapi ade keje nak buat...cam ne ek....lepas ni ade exam agi...then terus nak ke belgium and holland join wana...balik tu aku mail ko ek...umah aku takk de internet..kene gie library.....jumpe di lain ari...bubbyyee...cayang ko..muuaahh!!

Ade jugak gunenye Friendster nie yek... hmm.. let's see... dah jumpe Kong ngan Soon Sim, smalam borak ngan Wana, Yanie pon dah balas mesej, tinggal Kun Yun sorang je lagik nie yang MIA. Miss all of you!!

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Okay, dah download that song by Jewel. I really like Jewel, weird how come tak pernah ingat lagu nie sampai org lain mention. Suke lagu baru die jugak, very danceable, tapi lain2 kali je letak. Enjoy :)!

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A'kum to all :) ....
Semalam baru balik from Midwest games 2003 held at Purdue University, Indiana. Loads of fun, saw friends that I haven't seen for a really long time. Unfortunately, saw people whom I didn't really want to see either, but hey, life's like that, right? It was freaky being in Purdue, it's like being back in Malaysia, but colder. In Michigan, I can walk down the street and say hi to every Malaysian I see because we know each other. In Purdue, I saw all these Malaysians whom I've never met before and it was weird, it's like being back home and you see strangers pass you by, but you're not home. I have no idea how to explain, so I'm just not gonna try. Anyway, it was really fun, I loved catching up with my ex-roomies ( kong and Sim, you guys are the best!! Thanks for all the help), I've missed them so much. Old friends that I haven't seen for a long time, some of them changed, some didn't. Someone dengan baik hati belanje orang Mountain Dew, hehe, thank you :) . Games were fun, congrats to Kong on her many wins :) , and to the Michigan teams too for a job well done. I have to admit, the performances that night were really, really good. Dikir Barat, silat, traditional dances..... everything was so pretty.
Semalam balik, I promptly slept, and as a result, bangun lambat and lapar. Malam tuh masak quite lambat, malas nak makan sorang, nasib baik ade Nik nak nolong and teman org makan. Todi lambat malam tuh, hahaha... kol empat pagi baru tido. Bangun pagi kepale bengong. Padan muke. Hari nie dapat result exam EECS 376. Alhamdulillah tak fail. barsyukur sangat. Program pon not so bad sangat. I need to work harder though.
pagi nie dapat email. Out of request by the sender, lepas bace terus delete. Tapi pagi tadi deja vu kejap ( sampai lambat gie kelas, siot ). It was weird how things played out in life. If things had turn out differently, maybe I wouldn't have to go through all the painful experiences that I did. Ingat lagi the first thing the person sent me lepas bertahun-tahun tak dengar berite.... "Joey to my Dawson" ( haha.. perasan Dawson, tapi sweet sentiment all the same). Paham what the person meant tapi... it was never the right time, right place, in the end it was never right. Thanks for the lyrics, though. Hahaha.. tak habes2 ngan tema Dawson's Creek.

"Standing Still"

Cutting through the darkest night are my two headlights
Trying to keep it clear, but I'm losing it here
To the twilight
There's a dead end to my left
There's a burning bush to my right
You aren't in sight
You aren't in sight

Do you want me
Like I want you?
Or am I standing still
Beneath the darkened sky
Or am I standing still
With the scenery flying by
Or am I standing still
Out of the corner of my eye
Was that you
Passing my by

Mother's on the stoop
Boys in souped up coupes
On this hot summer night
Between fight and flight
Is the blind man's sight
And a choice that's right
I roll the window down
Feel like I'm
I'm gonna drown
In this strange town
Feel broken down
I feel broken down
Do you need me
Like I need you

Or am I standing still
Beneath the darkened sky
Or am I standing still
With the scenery flying by
Or am I standing still
Out of the corner of my eye
Was that you
Passing my by

A sweet sorrow is
The call tomorrow
A sweet sorrow is
The call tomorrow

Do you love me
Like I love you?

Or am I standing still
Beneath the darkened sky
Or am I standing still
With the scenery flying by
Or am I standing still
Out of the corner
Of my eye
Was that you
Passing me by?

Are you passing me by?
Passing me by
Do you want me?
Passing me by

Do you need me
Like I need you too
And do you want me
Like I want you?
Passing me by

Are you passing me by
Or am I standing still?

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Exam tomolo, nak gie midwest lagik.. me freaking out like crazy.... shit shit shit.... deep breaths, I can do this.. hahahahahahahah... yeah right... I'm gonna flunk the damn exam, trust me. Shit shit shit........... anyway, purse yang hilang kat Briarwood mall tuh still hilang, so basically tinggal sehelai sepinggan jek ( or in my case, sehelai takdek pinggang), so pegi midwest nie tawakal jek derang tak mintak ID lebey2, hopefully tak jadi anything tak baik.
Suke suke suke the smell of Heavenly, the perfume from Victoria's Secret's dream Angels collection. Sampai sanggup beli, me, org yg paling malas nak beli perfume, from form 4 pakai perfume yang same brand sampai lah baru2 nie. Kat mesia rajin jugak nak sembur badan ngan perfume, so sebab tak penah gune perfume lain, L'Eau d'Issey (Issey Miyake) tuh lah jadik signature smell, mak pon dah kenal sgt2 dah. Nie tukar perfume baru nie, I couldn't be happier, heheheh. Heavenly sgt wangi. Skang nak kene figure out camane nak spray the damn thing jek, salah spray kang sesie jek. Best best ....
Okkeh, mari gie solat and study. Ciao and a'kum..

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Wow... I can't believe that I finally have that damned paper and the "blardy" program turned in. What a relief. But now I have to worry about the exam on Friday, oh no! My stress too it's toll on my by making new "kawah"s on my face, as i always get when I get stressed. And i thought this spring was gonna be all about fun, was I wrong! I barely saw NCRB, my weight yo-yoed up and down, my face is wreaking havoc, but funnily enough, my mood swings seem to have dwindled. Hooray for that. Now it's either I'm totally depressed or totally happy or somewhere neutral, hahahaha. Seriously, I'm hoping this would last.
Right now I'm in the worried-out-of-my-head mode. I did a sucky job on my English paper, I barely made through the program, and I have no idea what to answer on the exam on Friday. Thinking about all those makes another pimple wanting to pop out. Why can't I just be like normal people and have the veins at my temple bulge out instead of having to deal with breakouts every other day? So right now I'm going to indulge in something that I haven't done in a long time: reality tv commentating. Muahahahah.....
Season finale of The Bachelor: muahahahahahahahaha.... Kirsten didn't get picked! Yes yes!! All I can say is, balik kampung bebeh! Never main tactic kotor on national TV.
Season finale of Mr. Personality: sooooooooo predictable. Chris lagi sekoq main taktik kotor. Tak baik weh hypnosis2 org nie. Will The Millionaire won, and somehow it wasn't that surprising that he did (even though I did root for him, at least he didn't need hypnosis to go about his business). When it comes to reality TV that involves relationships, ABC wins hands down. FOX, stick to American Idol and cash in while you still can.
Today had been a loooong day. Went out of the room at 9.40 am, didn't come back until way after 8pm, almost 12 hours tak nampak bilik!! That'll teach me to pile up courses during the semester when I should be soaking up the sun. Damn. This makes me even more determined to go to Midland and visit jen just so that I can detangle a bit.
New thing that I'm watching: America's Next Top Model, hosted by Tyra Banks. Admittedly, out of all the hosts of the talent shows, she's the most interesting since she was able to give in more personal input. After all, she is a top model. Seeing those girls freeze their butt off on top of a bulding in New York's harsh winter for a bikini shoot made me think, no wonder you got paid so much. Already I've pinpoint a girl I don't like, so there's a pretty big chance that she's not gonna win. Hehehe. Seriously. Consider the odds: I wanted Ryan to win, and now he's with Trista; I didn't like Sarah Kozer, Evan ended up choosing Zora; I didn't like Kirsten, Andrew chose Jen over her; I didn't like Chris, and Hayley chose Will....... my intuitions (and the predictability of the shows) haven't failed me yet, and I think with the whole top model thing, it's gonna be no exception. My bid fo at least the final three: Nicole.
Wow, this has been a really sucky entry... crapping around again...*sigh*...

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ONE LOOOOONG ENTRY, PROCEED ONLY IF YOU ARE THAT BORED

Have you ever had one of those days when nothing seemed to go right? I usually have those at least once a month. And today I had one. I feel so, so tense, it didn't help that today my self-esteem was at an all-time low. I saw this picture of a girl whom I didn't quite like, but she is, admittedly, quite pretty. And I had to have all these crazy thoughts of how pretty she is, how her personality might suck big time but because she's pretty, people would overlook that, how much I wish that I look more like her instead of looking like myself, though I didn't want to have her attitude. Things got worst when I now have two huge zits on my face that are screaming for attention from everyone (it's near that time of the month, so it wasn't quite so unexpected, but still dissapointing ). It's weird how intelligent people sometimes have such foolish thoughts. Sure, I have a lot going for me right now, and I've been blessed with so much, plus macam tak bersyukur lah pulak dengan ape yang Allah dah kasi, but sometimes, sometimes all reason goes out the window and you're left with self-doubt and all insecurities.
My mom was the ideal girl back in her youth. She had the petite figure, the fair skin, the pretty smile, the pretty eyes ... I remember looking at her old pictures when I was small and being so proud that my mom was so good-looking when she was young (actually she still is... I think she got sweeter as she the years passed ). Which I guess contributed more to my dissapointment as I got older and puberty kicked in. I inherited her smile and her eyes (and the trademark voice, mom has a really small, girly voice ), but everything else I got from my dad: the tan skin, the long fingers. Mom was petite and curvaceous, evident from her "kebaya ketat" that was popular back in the good ol' days, I'm anything but petite, and I was so chubby that I think no one could figure out whether I had any figure or not. It frustrated me that I wasn't physically more like mom, since I adored her ever since I was born, but time passed by, and I learned to deal and be more accepting of how I looked.
Still, a lot of the insecurities never really went away. Having a very pretty sister-in-law didn't exactly help in that department, hahaha. Oh, don't get me wrong, she's wonderful, the best sis any girl could ask for, but it also meant another person in the house for me to compare with. She's naturally very slim (she can eat and eat and wouldn't gain a pound), also very fair, but I love the fact that's she's funny, outgoing and very happy-go-lucky. I admit that there were a lot of times that I was jealous, but I love her so much that I couldn't hold a grudge.
It's hard when you're struggling with insecurities that have been manifested inside you for so long. And today, all of those thoughts reared their ugly heads and here I am, struggling to get some sense in my brain. Although, if you look at it realistically, I'm not exactly being all that bogus. Attractive people usually have more doors open to hem simply because people notice them more. If Gisele Bundchen had the same qualifications I will when I graduate, and we both apply for the same job, you can bet the pants you're wearing that they're gonna hire her simply because the packaging is more attractive. It's one of those unfair nudges that frustrates us who are not quite so beautiful. It sucks big time, but that's the way the world operates sometimes....
Weird, as I look at the picture of the girl I didn't like ( not hate, that's such a strong word ), I wondered what it would feel to be her for a day, to be in that group of "beautiful" people, adored for looks and nothing more. I reminded myself that at least I have all of my bodily functions and all of my body parts are still intact, but sometimes, I still wonder. Wonder how it would feel to have someone look at you and think how pretty you are, or how attractive. Yes, I'm vain, though I'm smart enough to know that if given a choice between looks and personality, I would definitely go for personality, no questions asked.
Wow.. this is one long entry.... I can't remember writing this long ever.. or something quite so personal either. Which makes me more secure that no one is gonna read this, hahaha... man, I should stop treating my blogger like a diary. Well, let's just look at this as a trial run for that American Culture paper that I have to write.

For someone taking computer science, I am bad at staying up. Yet here I am with tons of homework due, and none of them I am familiar with. To top it up, we have a midterm on the day that all of us are supposed to head out to Purdue. Go figure. I just couldn't get the program that we're asked to do, and I've read the damn manual close to ten times. Dammit. Well, at least I already have 2 pages for my 4 to 5 pages film assignment. I hope all the stuff I did weren't out of context, blardy thing is worth 40% of my total grade. Am I screwed, or am I not screwed?
On the bright side, I caught up with some old friends yesterday. Can't wait to see them again, since some of them are gonna be at the Midwest Games. I wish we can arrive at Purdue earlier, especially since Kong already invited me to see a movie on the Friday that we were suppose to arrive. *sigh*... unfortunately, there's a very good chance that I can't make it. Oh well, at least I have a tour guide now to show me around Purdue.
I really have no idea what to write right now, I'm too worried about my American Culture paper. I wish I know more about the history of black films, what I know right now can barely fit a 5-page essay....

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New song.. it's in the Lizzie Maguire movie ( haven't watched it yet, though ). Tried to find the full version of the ballad, but I only found the teeny bopper, dance-around-the-room version sang by Hillary Duff. I like this one better, it's very sweet. What Dreams Are Made of... *sigh* ...

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Today five girls decided to indulge in the phenomenon known as "The Matrix: Reloaded". Me, Teh, Nanim, Alisa and Ayun caught the 11.56 am bus to Meijer's, and we arrived at the cinema in time to catch the 1 o'clock show. Apsal pegi awal sgt, u say? Apsal tak gie malam macam org lain? jawapan: tadek transport, plus before 5 o'clock, show murah, save duit jugak.

THE MATRIX: RELOADED ( spoilers ahead, tapi sikit jek, ending still confidential, kalau tak tgk lagi and tanak tau langsung , skip this until *** )
My verdict for the movie: best with a but. Best sebab action sequence die sgt2 pawe, but (this is the but part) some stuff could be done without. Macam the celebration scene in Zion. Wuih.. macam gie clubbing! or kat rave party. Everything sume see through ( maybe Zion teramat sengkek sampai kain buat sume tak cukup tebal, or maybe clothing generator die rosak kot... ). Didn't help the fact they toggled that and the "love" scene between Neo and Trinity ( man, that's a lot of butts ) . The "rave party" scene macam kurang ade significance, probably sebab normal human beings, no matter how happy or confident they are that they will survive when faced with such a tremendous obstacle to their very existance, would not be prancing around half naked in an atmosphere more suited to a "Girls Gone Wild" video rather than the last remaining free city of Earth. Pelik. Ntah-ntah all the surviving humans mase tuh mmg prerequisite die kene biase gie rave kot. Hehe.. macam kate Teh " Ingat kan lepas speech nak pegi memperatahankan negare ke ape ke, nie die gie menari-nari lak.... ".
I love the fact that they have the "power" girls in the film ( Trinity and Niobe ). Women kick butt! Dah lah Niobe punye sunglasses gile lawa. Jada Pinkett = sgt sgt sgt cun. Even Persephone, who didn't kick butt, was no wallflower. Manipulative, conniving yet very, very female in her emotions ( she might be cool, but she was still pissed when hubby dearie decided to fool around.. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned ), she was very powerful in her scenes, commanding attention and twisting everything around her well-manicured fingers. Kissing scene between her and Neo... tipu lah Neo faithful gile nak mampos kat Trinity. Dalam ati tuh.."Woo-hoo!" . Eleh. May they put a lot more of Monica Belucci in the next Matrix movie.
Favorite character: the helpless Keymaker. Kesian mamat tuh, kene campak sane sini, last-last mati jugak. Ish ish ish.... but someone pointed out yang movie nie stereotype sket. In a way, it is tru. All the Asian characters die either pandai kung fu, or jenis yang pakai spec, pandai and helpless. Go figure.

******************************************************************************
All in all, nice movie to watch with friends, jangan tengok ngan family unless your mum and dad are really cool about "love scenes" and you don't mind the utter embarrassment when your 3-year-old brother/sister yells "Eii... bontot! " ( eh, jgn kate tak penah jadik, penah tau... ). Go watch :) .
Apakah plan saya buat hari nie? Rest jap, then solat, then start cracking on my program and paper. GSI gile jahat, die tanak post hari nie punye slides sebab die tanak sape yg tak dtg kelas tau ape die discuss hari nie. Dah lah cakap lambat, org tak salin slides awal-awal. Gile jahat. Geram betul. Kene salin laju-laju tadik. I'm screwed, sebab haram tatau ape die cakap tadi pasal program. Uh-oh.
Okay, me tired. Later.

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Tukar lagu, Inner Smile by Texas. Lagu best, die buat video clip pompuan tuh jadik Elvis Presley. Tadi baru found out it's the soundtrack to Bend it Like Beckham ( or in Teh punye case, Bend it Like Bercham, hehe... jangan mare cik Teh oii.... ). Apsal lagu nie best? Entah, memule dgr tadek lah sedap sgt.. lame2 tuh it kinda grows on you. At least on me, anyway.
Tadi buat this game(?) yang kirah hantar.. pasal name gelaran... dapat "siamang busuk"... pulak dah... well, at least better than "tenuk boyot", ye dak?

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Tadi buat keje bodo... bukak contacts, tapi specs tadek. Ingat kan kat tepi bed, so lepas tanggal contacts, menapak tepi bed, only to find no specs there. Alamak ... I was blind as a bat, gile tak nampak. Carik punye carik tepi katil, tak jumpe. In a desperate attempt, carik Teh kat seblah, mane tau die nampak kite tak nampak. Tapi Teh tadek lah plak, gie MU. Mesej sume org yg lebey kurang dekat , last-last Alisa Si Baik Hati dtg selamat kan org. Yang siotnye die gelak gile babi lah dulu sebab carik spek sambil tak nampak, heheh. Alisa dtg je, lime menet carik, jumpe lah specs..... kat ATAS katil. Rerupenye... the reason I didn't see it before sebab spec frame coklat, bedpsread pon coklat, comforter pon coklat , so die blend in. Kesimpulan: sile jangan bukak contacts unless dah tau spec kat mane....

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Online language translator
.. nice... just write in a sentence and it'll do it's best to translate it for you if the language happens to be French, German, Russian, or Spanish... though I highly suspect that it translates word by word, so it might not be all that accurate, but if you have something straightforward enough like "I eat rice and chicken", I think it'll do it's job.

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Hmm... bebaru nie perasan ade sorang makcik tuh terikut-ikut care org ( as in me ) cakap/tulis ( actuallynye tak penah pon cakap camtuh, takat tulis je.. gile lah ngade nak actually cakap camtuh depan orang, malu siot ) ... ulang bende tuh tige kali nak menujukkan betape suke/benci/geram/terkejut I am about something ( in a nutshell, menunjukkan reaction ) . Contoh from previous entries: "I love, love, love this t-shirt! " ... "okay, okay, okay, I better get mooooving....." .... "suke suke suke Lonestar"...
Lebih kurang camtuh lah... Eshh.. ermm.. rase pelik lak bile diikut org secare obviousnye, macam nie lah kot those people yang aku/I "pinjam" derang nye phrase rase camane ... kesimpulan, tgh try untuk tidak meniru sesape nye trademark. Entah lah, rase lain macam lak ... eshh.. I'm just being paranoid... Hm.. jangan nanti aku dah boipren baru pon die nak kebas jugak, ade jugak yang nak kene kerat lapan blas masuk blender buang dalam longkang masuk Sungai Klang nanti nie.

Hari nie kan, ade orang tuh kan, hantar orang lagu tau. Lepas tuh kan, lagu tuh kan, hehehe... rerupenye ade due orang nyanyi. "Emm? Ape yang pelik kalau ade due orang nyanyi?" tanye sume orang yang tgh bace blog nie sebab tgh tadek keje lain nak buat or tgh bosan. Sebab kan, derang nyanyi kan, sorang satu perkataan. Bukan satu ayat... satu perkataan. Bile orang dengar kan, ape lagi, gelak golek-golek atas kibod ( kibod nie kesian gile, kalau boleh meraung ade jugak tuh die dah maki hamun ). Sebab kan, ... sebab ape ha ? Sebab bunyik die ke-la la la la-kar lerr.... sedap, tapi pelik sangat bile dengar word by word lain-lain org nyanyi... hehehe... okay dah habes dah perenggan kan-kan ( mase zaman kecik-kecik kalau nak ejek orang, camtuh lah gaye cakap.... " Ade orang tuh kan, semalam kan, die kentut dalam kelas tau, sape ha? " )

I wonder what's up kat kawanaku.com for my ex-schoolmates... jarang masuk.... hmm....

Okay dah, takde mende lain dah nak tulis. This should satisfy pengunjung setie for a couple of hours until I can figure out stuff going in my head right now.

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REASON #576 WHY I SHOULD NEVER TAKE ONLINE QUIZZES......


wOOOO hoooooooooo, ur donna, u slept with eric, and
mooned the cheerleaders, and it was caught on
camera, right on!!!


WhAT CHaracter FROM that 70s SHoW r u?
brought to you by Quizilla

... AND YET, I KEEP ON WTH ALL THE B.S....


You are Jean Grey!

Beautiful and smart, you are still just beginning
to fulfill your potential. You have a strong
sense of right and wrong, but are open to
discussion and changes of opinion.
Unfortunately, when it comes to love you are
often torn between two options, and can never
seem to make up your mind.


Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla


Hmmpphh... Jean Grey indeed.... and Donna?? What's with all the redheads?

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Hmmm... dah due tige hari tak tulis pape... busy sket these past few days. Nie pun actuallynye nak kene pegi kelas nie, tapi malas sgt nak menapak gie toilet, duduk jap sampai head-rush hilang. Today is Friday... I'm so, so grateful for that. Last class habes pukul 11.30, then no more classes sampai hari selase. Hmm.. nak tulis ape ha? Kalau salah tulis, jadi bahan kutuk/ejek orang. Kontroversial lah pulak. Tanak lah camtuh, create a controversy and suddenly become a "frenzy". Even though kalau betullah kan bende tuh jadi, good for me sebab pahale "berbakul-bakul" ( ikut ape sorang kawan nie cakap ) dapat kat aku. Ish... bile pikir-pikir, susah kalau nak kene berlapik kat blogger sendiri. Especially when blogger tuh di create basically for kite sendiri to keep track of things happening in kite punye lives, created for ourselves, and bukannye tempat untuk create bahan for the sole purpose of letting people read. Kadang-kadang bile dengar orang cakap pasal orang lain ( actually nye penah je kantoikan orang cakap pasal aku gak, but malas nak amek pusing ), I wonder kalau the people yang tgh cakap tuh really knows the person yang jadi bahan cakap. Kalau die kate yes, sebab diorang kawan baik, then hipokrit sangat sebab kalau the moment die out of of sight, kutuk/gelak macam nak mati, depan die baik lah pulak ( dah lah kawan sendiri, takkan lah rendah sgt your threshold of tolerance sampai kan ke bende-bende sebesar bijik sagu pun nak cakap. Mane loyalty? ). Kalau die kate no, kenal camtuh-catuh je, then aku nye opinion, don't say anything, sebab ko takde right nak cakap pasal org tuh even when he/she is a close friend. You don't know that person, so mane ko tau bende2 yang cakap for fun tuh tak boleh timbul jadi fitnah? Kalau kate lah die buat something yang ko rase sgt bagus/pelik/kelakar/tak elok, then mention sekali, comment on it, lepas tuh sudah-sudah lah. Ko rase die nye baju sume pelik, or die jalan macam askar, so? Entahlah, I just never saw ape yang seronok gelakkan petty-petty things like that. Kenelah respect the fact yang sume orang different, kan? Entah lah, amusement tuh , for me, ade lah line die kat mane. Ade this fine line between commenting what a person does or say and finding it amusing, and basically just being a jerk and gelakkan orang over and over simply because ko tak kenal orang tuh, so die easy target nak pekene. How pathetic is that?
Hehehe.. ranting in the morning, biaselah general stuff..... tgh carik alasan tamau gie kelas nie actuallynye, but I can't find one, so haul ass...

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Long long loooooooong day... let's see... keluar bilik jam 9.30 pagi... balik bilik jam 1.30 tgh hari, keluar balik pukul 2.30 ptg.... and now, jam 10.00 malam, baru sampai balik bilik...not fun, not fun at all..just bought myself new track bottoms and a long sleeved t-shirt. last week baru realize my t-shirts kurang appropriate nak pakai ngan tudung, ade sikit je yang macam acceptable, but long sleeved t-shirts are certainly the way to go, heheh. Tapi baru last Saturday beli t-shirt short sleeved ( relatively speaking) "I Love Ann Arbor" for five bucks... wearing it right now, actually. I love, love, love this t-shirt! It's white, it's not too big that I'm lost in it, not too small in the sense that I can slip into it really easy, not too short but not too long either. Just perfect.
Just realized yang muke makin tembam. Chett, tak best betul. Unlike other people, who can diet every other day, I have to constantly remind myself not to eat crap every single bloody day, 'cause if I don't, break-outs lah, tembam, puffy, bloated, sume bende jadik.. *sigh*... kengkadang wish I'm naturally slim and pretty like everyone else. On the other hand, I've come a long way from the days when I was in high-school and got really, really tembam... so I know that I can still get to that figure I want, and if I ever suddenly become 180 pounds again, I know what to do to lose all the unwanted pounds. Heheheh.... so I have that knowledge and confidence that comes from having to battle to tone down. But still.... just a few more pounds to go... hehehehe.....
Oh, wait, wait, wait.... nek kene wat something jap..

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Hmm.. I'm at my room right now, trying my best to figure out the homework problems to my EECS 376 class ( I hate, hate, hate it when I don't understand something and I have to read the chapter over and over again. ). Decided to give up and go to the damn office hour today. And right now I'm very, very late... oh boy... okay, okay, okay, I better get mooooving.....

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Okay... I'm confused... the http://illini.blogspot.com tuh tet nye website sorang ke... budak illinois ramai-ramai rojak dalam tuh?

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I was going through my site meter just for the fun of it, when I noticed this link. Seems like some people came to my site via that one. Hmm... and then I carik my link kat webpage tuh, tapi tadek.. pelik.. up until I saw this entry.... ( btw.. nie Tet nye website!! )

:: Wednesday, April 30, 2003 ::
:: something about fichigan ::

Okay some GUY (requested that his name be withheld) asked me to feature this link on this website. He thinks it's admirable. Go GUY!

I think it's cool, with photos, music, chatbox... ppl can actually hang out there
:: HeaL MiRaCuLouS 12:25 AM [+] ::
...

Turns out the "this" part in the above entry was a link to my site. Awww..... and someone thinks it's admirable, how sweet. Though lately dah tak banyak letak gambar sebab I can't find the damn USB cable to upload the pics from my digicam. Waduhh.... kok di mana perginya dong? To Tet... nice webby, hehehe... asal lame tak dengar cite?? Glad you're coming to the Midwest games, kalau aku panjang umur, see you there!! Know what, I decided to change the song again, muahaha... this time to something more mellow... suke suke suke Lonestar, and this is my favorite song of all time ( probably because no guy had ever sung this to me yet, so it's not tainted with bad memories, but suke suke suke if anyone would want to sing this to me, hahahaha..... adoi, gelak golek-golek atas kibod, sakit perut ler... takut takut takut nak fall for org ). I wonder if anyone would be amazed by me some day ( amazed because of something GOOD, not of something inane that I did or my "incredible" stupidity.. )
Today I feel so, so bloated.... waa!!!! Nak gie gym tapi pening kepale.... dah dapat my blood test results... everything seems normal, which worried the doctor even more ( which in turns scares the pants off of me... mane tak takut?? Okay, pants back on... ) . Aiyoo... the last time I did a CAT scan was when I was in high school, a few months after I stupidly jalan and langgar fire extingusher yang tergantung depan French class... buat lagi keje tak senonoh jalan sambil bace buku, kan dah benjol. Anyway, no hairline cracks then, so I think I'm still safe. I need to find the 'cause of my headaches and fast, so I'm keeping a diary of the things I eat, which is scary sebab I eat a load of crap, man! Waaa!!!!! Nak jadi budak sihat!!! What I have in my fridge right now: skim milk, Slim Fast shakes (french vanilla... yum.. macam milkshake, yang tuh je sedap kot, lain sume sucks ), and salads. Seems healthy enough. Outside of fridge: a bag of the limited edition white chocolate Kit Kat Bites.... yumm yumm... damn, must be the contributing factor to my headaches and breakouts.... to anyone yang bace kat sini and ade kat Umich: sape yang nak chocolate, meh mesej orang....
Ade kawan email and kate die jumpe gambar Tunas Budaya ( mase kecik-kecik ) punye performance... there I was "sengih macam kerang busuk" die kate, lepas kitorang punye performance. Dulu buat tarian kipas... jijit-jijit atas stage, tiptoe atas sandals opera Cina. Bile ingat balik, senang nak mampos. Hahaha... audition Tunas Budaya best, sebab I didn't know that I can dance, main ikut je, last-last accepted... I didn't realize it was a big deal lah jugak until much later..... but sebab masuk STF mase form 1, so tak bleh nak pursue... but bile masuk matrix, jumpe this girl yang Tunas Budaya jugak dulu, but we never met... she stayed on longer than I did. Jeles sebab she got the oppurtunity to belajar a whole lot of tarian moves, so i mintak die ajar sket. Hehehe..... damn, miss bebudak matrix jugak, boo-hoo... apsal lah aku this year tak balik??

Sape ingat startinbg lagu nie ( folk song ), pleas pleas please bagitau.... penat pk tak ingat-ingat... second line die goes...

(first line yang tak ingat .... SAPE TAU??? )
Saku penuh padi
Enam ekor burung
Masuk dalam kuali
Bila sudah masak
Burung nyanyi saja
Tentu sedap makan... beri pada raja...

Raja dalam rumah
Buat kira-kira
Suri dalam dapur
Makan roti gula... hey!

Dayang tepi kolam..
mahu jemur tepung
datang burung hitam..
patuk batang hidung

Why the hell did I ever grow up?...

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Baru je lepas tengok X-2... unlike the other people who had the means to tgk the opening last night, Nanim, Teh and I decided to budget and tengok this morning. Murah sket. It's definitely a good movie, I didn't even look at my watch once like I always do in other movies. Hope they're gonna have X-3, and if they do, I hope they'll put Jean Grey in her Phoenix persona in that one. When I was a kid, I was a big Marvel fan ( well, not just Marvel, actually, but mostly their stuff ). I think it rubbed off from my eldest brother, who really was a die-hard fan of Wolverine. Plus my brother was blessed with a talent he inherited from my mother that I never had: he can draw. Man, can he draw. He would take this small drawing of Wolverine, and in an hour, super-sized into a magnificent replica, complete with the right colors, tones, shadings, expressions.... he's really, really gifted. I used to look at his drawings and be so, so jealous because I can't draw like that, and I wished so much that I could. He had this enormous collection of comic books that I loved to read, somehow the storylines, pictures and outfits fascinated me. I loved that the characters had "special powers", and I remember wishing that I can read people's minds too, hahaha... Storm, the African street thief that was saved by Prof. X, Cyclops, Jean Grey ( bile nak jadi Phoenix nie?? Girl Power! ) , Wolverine, Beast, Iceman, Rogue, Gambit, Mystique, Magneto, Sabretooth, Nightcrawler, White Queen ( a.k.a Emma Frost... favorite villain 'cause she's so cool... no pun intended... actually she's a manipulative b****, but that's why she's so cool ), Angel ( mutant-poster-boy, comel, heheh, later became Archangel, I cried when I read the edition where they amputated his wings, boo-hoo... ), Lilandra ( Prof. X's love interest ... I have no idea when that happened ), Namor the Submariner ( if memory serves me correctly, the guy who discovered the small capsule containing, surprise surprise, Jean Grey ), oh wait, Namor was in the Avenger series.... me getting confused.... byk sgt bace, with the X-Men and The Fantastic Four, The Avengers, ntah hape hape ntah lagik.... camane bleh pass UPSR mase tuh...

My mom used to tell me to sit at the side of her bed, and with a box of crayons and a drawing pad, she would draw portraits of me that we then would hang up in my room. I used to ask my mom how come she didn't become an architect or a mathematician or an accountant ( she's great with math ), and she told me that she had to take care of the family after my grandfather died. She was the third child in the family. When my grandpa died, her elder brother and sister were already in college, and the ones below her were still very young. My mom had to earn money fast, so she went to ITM and became a secretary instead of going off to university as was previously planned . I used to think that it wasn't fair my mom had to give up her dreams, later in life I came to realize that if things had turn out differently, I probably wouldn't have been borned, and I wouldn't have a wondderful family that loves me now.

Okay, enough with the sentimental stuff. X-2 movie: good. Looking forward to watching Matrix: Reloaded and Pirates of the Caribbean. Oh, and I just created my very first Neopet, just because I wanted to see what the hype was all about. For lack of a better name ( and of judgement, apparently), my pet's name is Legolas_neo82, he's currently bloated, he's very strong and moves very slow ( like most male, hehehe... ooppss... kidding, enough with the vision of pelting me with rotten tomatoes already). *Sigh* .... me very tired, a little bit cranky, and missing my mommy.....

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Changed the song to Everlast's "What It's Like" , really old song ..... I remember first listening to the song dalam kerete dengan my second brother, and how pissed we were because a lot of the lyrics were censored and the song was kinda ruined. Hehe.. I also remembered how I begged him to find me an uncensored copy of it. Didn't take him that long to find one, al-maklum byk kawan in different places. Why I like the song... I dunno. Sedap. And the lyrics are dark, like really dark.... at least that was what I thought when I was in my pre-teen years. Skang dengar balik, it seems just normal to me now... uisshh... scary thought. What seemed a big deal then ( gasp!! unmarried teenage girl pregnant in this song! ) doesn't seem so surprising now ( after all, my friend Jess has a 1-year-old, she's unmarried, and according to her, she's just fine ). Hmm... it's sad that the more we grow up, the more jaded we become.

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Let's see.... my day started this morning with me waking up, saying "Alhamdulillah" for having another chance to live another day, and then thinking "Oh heck, I still have class to go". I then hauled ass to the bathroom, got ready, got dressed, and then walked sluggishly to my EECS 376 discussion. After an hour there, I hauled ass back to my room, where I susun barang kat "kitchen", and then went to work on my room... which "tergendala" sekejap sebab a really great thing happened... two of STF friends tegur, and we chatted a bit to catch up on stuff. I'm so, so happy.... dah lame tak dengar cerite Rom and Faridah ( panggil Farid je dulu ), Rom at Malaysia and Farid kat Leeds ngan Ija. After that, Bantut online, so borak ngan die jugak. After a while, I had to stop, sebab nak kene sambung kemas bilik... Oh well....

Hmmm... wait a sec... me need to answer phone....

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A Poem From The Heart

If you miss me, and I know you do,
just give a call, maybe I miss you too,
remember my voice, how I say your name,
and how we wished things could stay the same.
Alas, time goes, some things don't last,
how I wish I can go back to the past,
to a time when there was just you and me,
and honey, we were happy as can be,
to the days of "I-love-you"s and "I-love-you-too"s,
to a time when all we needed was me and you,
and while we've already said our goodbyes,
realize our feelings would never die....

***isn't this sweet.....I love this***

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Waaahhh... long day for me, as is the case every Tuesday and Thursday.... pukul 8.30 mlm baru sampai bilik. Hmm.. nie baru habes makan nie actuallynye... wait2.. President Bush is giving his speech about the war ending... hmm.. better give this a view first....

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