Assalamu'alaikum....

Midwest weekend, and I will be here in Ann Arbor instead of galivanting in UIUC with my friends. Nobody's gonna be here, place will be almost deserted .... bliss. It's not that I don't like people in general, but sometimes you need some privacy that extends beyond your bedroom. When it's sunny, Northwood is absolutely beautiful, and I can't wait to have a day to myself this weekend when I can just lay out on my picnic blanket, bask in the sun and read a good book. Hey, when you're naturally tanned like I am, you should definitely make the most of your abilities to lie out in the sun and not look like a cooked lobster. Bliss.

My tummy is rumbling a bit, pro'lly due to the super super super HOT "sambal ikan bilis" that I cooked yesterday to eat with some coconut rice (or as we Malaysians call the dish, "nasi lemak".... literally meaning "fat rice". Go figure). I know Ayun is pro'lly suffering, too, right now, she was the recipient of my extra hot, just-came-out-of-the-blender chilli peppers. I was in the bathroom for the longest time this morning, LoL. My wristwatch was 1/2 an hour late, so I ended up half an hour late for work, too. And I thought I was making good time. Angela and Merry just laughed at my rotten luck when I came into the office, looked at the wall clock, looked at my watch and just went "Oh, man!". Angela's advice: forget the wristwatch next time, just go for your cell phone. Good advice.

I got a nice email from someone this morning. There is no greater feeling than knowing that your friendship is valued simply because it's YOUR friendship, not because of the material things that you can provide or becaue you're a doormat and people can just walk over you. It'll be hard, and I mean, I was really hurt over her choice of actions and in a lot of ways, I probably have to be a lot more careful now until I can trust her again, but friendships that you actually want to keep are hard to forge, and I'm not a mean person by nature. I saw her effort, saw that she's really trying to get me back, and mostly saw that she really CARES that I'm hurting.

That's the thing about people. I thought I'd be mad at her forever, or at least for the next few years anyway, and I thought our friendship was over and done for. However, she was earnest about mending things, and although I'm still feeling some negative emotions, I'm willing to work them out just so that I don't lose her. To be honest I didn't make things easy for her , all I wanted to do was to run away from all the things that were hurting me and protect myself from being vulnerable over and over again, so I ignored her. Her perseverance won me over though, I saw that she cares and she doesn't assume that given time I'd be okay, she actually made a huge effort to at least try and make things better. I truly and honestly appreciate that, in more ways than anyone can imagine. She extended the olive branch, and I have decided to take it.

Maybe you're wondering why I'm being so forthcoming and open about this, that I can speak about this so candidly even though this is, in all actuality, very private for me. Here's why: I don't like it when people just assume things. Assume that I'll be okay when I won't. Assume that I'll react in a certain way when I'm more intelligent than that. Assume that since nothing fazes me anymore, nothing hurts me anymore too. People make so many assumptions about things that they know nothing about. I know this because in a lot of cases I find that I'm guilty of doing it too. So no more assumptions. I'm laying the facts down bare and naked for people to read.

The fact is I'm not mean. If you show effort, I'll definitely meet you halfway. Thing is, I need to know that what I put out is not in vain. Sometimes you just need certain confirmations because maybe something happened and you just need to know.... know that it's still worth working towards, worth fighting your demons for, worth hanging on to, 'cause like I said, a good friendship is so hard to forge. Of course when you have it you don't want to let it go.

I need people to know that I never, never, never take my decisions lightly. They might not be the best course of actions, and they might be more motivated by emotions rather than thought, but these decisions are mostly made because I feel like there is no other way out. Call it a defense mechanism if you will. Sometimes I act out in certain ways as a test to someone, which in many aspects is so very not fair... 'cause I'm setting up the person to fail, since he/she doesn't know what the "test" is or that he/she is being "tested" at all.

But here's the trick: for every test, there's a sure-fire way to pass ..... I need to know that you actually care. You don't have to go all-out, all I need is a small confirmation that yes, no matter how small the feeling is, you do care that our friendship now has a rift. I need the comfort of knowing that I'm not alone, that I'm not the only one who actually care enough about the relationship. This is basically what's going through my head when I have a conflict with any of my close friends, girls or guys. The cause might be different, but ultimately the end result is always the same. That aside, I also know that if I'm wrong, that I am not afraid to say I'm sorry. My ego isn't that inflated. And in certain cases, I'll even apologize even when I feel I'm right just because I know the issue is important to the other person more than it does me.

But reciprocate, dammit, I'm selfish enough to expect certain things in return. Which is why when I read that email (refer to beginning of blog), I was relieved. The state of emergency is over, Lol... well at least this one anyway. She cares enough to try. Which is all I ever really wanted, 'cause everything else can click in place if we can at least show each other that we appreciate one another.

Couple that incident with the little "conference" that I had last night with someone else (I'm not gonna go into details 'cause I know for a fact this person reads my blog and I don't wanna embarrass the both of us by being mushy LoL, plus this one is a little more private. Suffice to say ... baby steps :) ), I have to admit that my girl friends are really going above and beyond this time, which is a nice change of pace from thinking that no one gets you. It's nice to know that people can still pleasantly surprise you with their depth... and their perseverance...... and mostly their respect.

Right now I'm truly blessed :) .

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum....

Because I have no idea what to write and I am currently very bored... here's another survey for your viewing pleasure.....

AT THIS VERY MOMENT:-

Current Clothes: grey office pants, Old Navy black top, pink tudung, Nike shoes and socks.. oh, and my "smart glasses (",)~~

Current Mood: relaxed

Current Music: none, Merry doesn't have her radio on, but I was listening to The Corrs like a minutue ago

Current Taste: Folgers coffee

Current Make-up: none, except sunscreen

Current Hair: waaayy past my shoulders, still straight

Current Smell : coffee... emmm...

Current thing U ought to be doing: definitely NOT doing another survey

Current Desktop Picture: nothing, it makes everything go slow, I'm not a screensaver person

Current Favorite Artist: ooohh.. tough one .. I'd say Sarah McLachlan

Current Favorite Group: used to be Maroon 5, now I dunno.... I like Keane a lot... actually scratch that, if I'm perfectly honest, I'm a Whitesnake girls, with Def Leppard a close second

Current Book: The Secret Letters of Vincent Van Gogh

Current CD in CD Player: Mixed CD I cooked up myself

Current tape in VCR: Magnolia... it's raining frogs!

Current Color Of Toenails: not wearing nail polish at all, but my big toe is blueish 'cause I managed to kick the door to my toilet

Current Worry: how to compose a really tricky email... hmm.. oh, and my JPA letter... and the answer to my grad school application.. gosh, there's a lot to worry about

LAST PERSON...

You touched: as if I keep track, it could be some random on the bus for all I care

You Talked to: Merry

You Hugged: prolly Mbak Oliv at Mya's party

You Instant messaged: Mbak Oliv definitely, we had an sms-fest the other day

You Yelled At: no idea, I try not to yell to people so much, biting sarcasm works so much better

You Kissed: as if I keep track of this one, too, LoL.... kidding, truth be told, I just don't remember the name


CURRENT FAVORITE...-

Color: always and forever P-I-N-K.. Victoria's Secret pink to be exact

Shoes: my pink sandals I got from Payless .... c'mon summer, I need you to arrive

Candy: Nerds by Willy Wonka

Animal: cats

Show: Desperate Housewives, Gilmore Girls, One Tree Hill, The Inferno, America's Next Top Model, CSI ... that's my weekly lineup right there

Movie: Have to be "Kingdom of Heaven" even tho I missed the first hour of it LoL

Song: JLo's "Get Right", Mario's "You Should Let Me Love You" and Jojo's "Leave"... yes they're pretty old... oh, and Gewn Stefani's "Hollaback Girl"

Fruit: peach and banana

Cartoon: South Park of course

ARE YOU...

Understanding: I try to be, whether I am or not only my friends can really tell

Open-minded: Yep, mostly

Arrogant: Nope, sometimes obnoxious but I have no idea how to be arrogant

Insecure: Yeah, actually, there's so many things that I want to change but can't

Interesting: if you take the time to know me, I can be (",)

Random: not really

Hungry: yeah, haven't had lunch yet

Friendly: yes, shy at first

Smart: alhamdulillah, in that department I'm blessed that I've made it as far as I have

Moody: sometimes

Childish: gosh yes

Independent: sometimes, but in certain areas I do rely heavily on my parents... but they're about the only ones that I feel comfortable relying on

Hard working: heck no

Organized: hahahaha, only when I'm really busy, mostly no

Healthy: getting there, I'm better than I was 2 weeks ago

Emotionally Stable: like right now, surprisingly yep

Shy: in big crowds, yeah, like first time meeting someone, definitely.... after being friends, I can't shut up.... but that only comes with trust

Difficult: sometimes yes, I expect a lot from myself and can sometimes transfer that feeling to other people too

Attractive: of course! hahaha kidding, I'm carrying some extra weight in my booty but hey, I'm still rocking it LoL

Bored Easily: yes, my attention span is 2 seconds flat

Messy: yep most definitely

Thirsty: no, had coffee, thanks for asking

Responsible: yes and no.... depends on if someone pissed me off or not

Obsessed: hahah with certain things, like time-consuming surveys... and reality TV shows... and babies

Angry: not at this moment, no,

Sad: a little, but I can't change that right now

Happy: let's just say I'm mellow right now

Hyper: nope

Trustworthy: I hope so, I strive to be but I'm not perfect

Talkative: with people I can trust, yeah

Loving : yep :)

Romantic : yep... a bit rusty at it, tho

Wahh.. habes jugak survey.....

Assalamu'alaikum....

Lame tak update blog ... Elly buat lawak sexy pun tak perasan.... Weekend nie Elly kawin... congrats lah ye Elly, mampu cakap from jauh2 nie je, tak mampu nak sendiri dtg, LoL. Tak sangke partner in crime dah nak jadi bini orang. Teringat lak bende2 *ehem* yg slalu pakat ngan Elly nak buat ... such as first time gie Necto ngan Elly.... dan sebagainye (kalau tulis sume skang mampus aku kene ketuk). No more Necto for you woman, hahaha. Clubbing kat umah je lah, buat anak, aku nak je jadi Auntie Farah, bleh belikan baju Osh Kosh B'Gosh. Anyway, lepas nie tulisan akan di conduct dalam Bahasa Inggeris semula in case Jen bace, die tak paham bahase.. melayu...

Anyway, these last few days have been kinda a blur for me. Sure, I had my ups and downs and some low, low points, but now everything is good and things are beginning to come together again for me. I've finally had my laundry done, folded, and safely stashed away in my closet, the big pile of dishes is gone now, I can finally see my bed again, and I finally have some space in my living room to actually play DDR again. Yay DDR!! Though now my time is limited to playing before midnight so that my neighbor Kristen doesn't get all pissed-off about it. Oh well.

Memorial Day weekend is coming up... or to some of us, Midwest Games weekend. I decided not to go, much to Rina's chagrin, but she'll be playing basketball, and all of my other UIUC friends are gonna be doing stuff , so where does that leave me? Nowhere. So I decided to stay home and catch up on other stuff... like sleep.... and save money for that trip to Montreal that I haven't had time to plan for. Besides, I've been to UIUC like almost every year now, and I still pretty much remember where everything is, LoL, so aside from the whole hanging out with friends thing, I'm not missing much. I'm sure it would've been fun, but I'm just not up to it.

Yesterday Mbak Oliv sms-ed me. I do miss her so. She was waiting for practice to start and got bored, so we messaged each other back and forth for a bit. Her cell phone contract expires today, so she was making the most of whatever sms that she had left. Her new house doesn't have cable, so I'm guessing she's extremely bored there in Minnesotta. Thinking about her is kinda bitter sweet for me, but I miss her (and dance class) like crazy.

Today, the new temp secretary, Angela, is coming in, so I've been booted off Sam's place at the front of the office to waaaaaayyy back at the building manager's spot. Now I have even LESS work than before, and if you've been a faithful reader of my blog, you now I haven't been doing much to begin with. So now I am basically just here killing time and brain cells, playing Dynomite and chatting with people. Sounds like easy money? Not when you consider the ungodly time I have to wake up every freaking day and the fact that whatever I do now revolves around work. However, I am grateful that money is coming in, so yay that.

My tummy hurts, so I'm just gonna get me some cereal drinks, maybe I'll pen in again later. Ciao! Love ya all muaakkss !

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum....

Okay, so I dropped Psych 111 ... I hate being sick so many times that I just keep missing class and work, so rather than keep on taking a class that I've lost interest in and can't catch up, I dropped it. Whcih sucks, because if I was actually in my right and normal healthy mind (instead of being foggy all the time... no I'm talking about smoking pot) I would've really enjoyed learning the concepts and understanding what REALLY goes through people's heads whenever they say something ... actually all I wanna do is to figure out guys and what they really mean whenever they say something, LoL. According to Jen, I'm an "airport for moron planes", and that I am " a butt when making choices". Ouch. I miss her.

Anyway, to keep my student status, I am taking a dance class that now requires me to go to Dancer's Boutique and buy a few stuff. La dee da. There goes some more money. Since the drop-add deadline has already passed, I'm kinda stuck with it, and since I've already missed 4 classes.... it's kinda hard catching up with the terminology and stuff, but I'm getting there. LoL. The dress code is pretty ridiculous, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Anyway, the rest of tha day is gonna pretty dull... and I'm bored right now.. so I'm gonna walk around and find stuff to do. Bye!

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum...

I missed work today... I haven't been sleeping well lately, or eating well either, it's a little hard to be healthy under these curcumstances. I haven't been able to exercise, my hands are shaking whenever I do anything (yesterday I dropped a mug on the floor, good thing it didn't break, just chipped), and when I called home, my mom was frantic 'cause I sounded awful. Thanks mom. Wish you're here to take care of me. My apartment is still filled with boxes 'cause I can't bring myself to do anything, my DDR pad is just sitting there waiting for someone to play with it.... It's jut a mess really. Oh, and I'm changing my Psych 111 from graded to pass/fail -- that's how "confident" I am in my performance this semester.

Yesterday I listened to my iPod and kept looping Jojo's songs... this is still my favorite one:

"Leave (Get Out)"

I've been waiting all day for ya babe
So won't cha come and sit and talk to me
And tell me how we're gonna be together always
Hope you know that when it's late at night
I Hold on to my pillow tight
And think of how you promised me forever
(I never thought that anyone)
Could make me feel this way
(Now that you're here boy all I want)
Is just a chance to say

[Chorus]
Get Out, (leave) right now,
It's the end of you and me
It's too late (now) and I can't wait for you to be gone
'Cause I know about her (who) and I wonder (why) how I bought all the lies
You said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time (waste of time)

Tell me why you're looking so confused
When I'm the one who didn't know the truth
How could you ever be so cold
To go behind my back and call my friend
Boy you must have gone and bumped your head
Because you left her number on your phone
(So now after all is said and done)
Maybe I'm the one to blame but
(To think that you could be the one)
Well it didn't work out that way

[Chorus]

I wanted you right here with me but I have no choice you've gotta leave
Because my heart is breakin'
With every word I'm sayin'
I gave up everything I had
On something that just wouldn't last
But I refuse to cry
No tears will fall from these ....
Eyes
Ooooh, ooooh
Get out

[Chorus x2]

Get out (leave)
You and me
It's too late (too late)
You ohh
Bout her (who, why)
You said that you would treat me right (noooo)
but it was just a waste of time (waste of time)

Ohhhh oh oh oh hoh oh

Assalamu'alaikum....

I'm just gonna say it right now that I cheated and I basically cut and paste this survey from my answer in that Friendster survey, so if you've read that one, this is the same thing. LoL... freaky survey, it asks me questions that I've been feeling a lot lartely, so I just thought I'd put this in as good measure.....


LAST PERSON WHO

x. Slept in your bed: my dad, I've been sleeping on the floor since my family left

x. Saw you cry: I think it was Afzan, but Mbak Oliv was the last one to hear me cry on the phone, LoL

x. Made you cry: can't answer this w/out being too obvious

x. You shared a drink with: Deera, I think, at Mya's party

x. You went to the movies with: Afzan -- watched The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and the last 1-1/2 hour of Kingdom of Heaven

x. You went to the mall with: my family.. they tore up Briarwood real good

x. Yelled at you: would an angry SMS considered yelling? Well, either way, can't answer this one either....

x. Sent you an email: my mom

HAVE YOU EVER. . .

x. Said "I Love You" and meant it?: Of course.. why say it if you don't mean it?

x. Gotten in a fight with your pet: yes! Cat pooped on the floor

x. Been to California: Yep, freshman year.

x. Danced naked: ... well not in front of people....

x. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: it didn't happen the next day, but it did happen a few days after

x. Wish you were the opposite sex: yeap, whenever I got my heart broken .. guys recover way faster than girls do

x. Had an imaginary friend: yep, probably a few of them

x. Do you have a crush on someone: yes and no.. one crush came to an abrupt and messy end ... another smaller one is still ongoing LoL
x. What book are you reading now: Psych 111 textbook.. exam on Friday, ugh

x. Worst feeling in the world: betrayal by someone you love ... then guilt

x. Future son's name: Don't think that far

x. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?: yeah, with Snowy my seal and a bear whom I've appropriately named Momence

x. Favorite sport to watch: ice-skating, or gymnastics ... is break-dancing a sport?

x. Siblings: 2

x. Location: Ann Arbor, Michigan

x. College plans: grad school ... ntah dapat ntah tak

x. Piercings: ears only, belly piercing plans were squished during sophomore year by someone's infection.. ewww...

EXTRA STUFF

x. Do you do drugs: nope

x. Do you drink: as in alcohol? nope, never and proud of it LoL .. not a lot of people believe that but it's true!

x. What clothes do you sleep in: PJs, or t-shirt and undies

x. Where do you want to get married: anywhere where my family is.. and his family of course

x. Who do you really hate: ugh.. hate to admit this.. a few people right now... it's actually more "hurt by" than "hate", but close enough

x. Been in Love: Yes

x. Do you drive: Yes, kinda sorta

x. Do you have a job: Part-time secretary, yay me.

x. Do you like being around people: depends on the people.. so yeah and no

x. Are you for world peace: yep

STUFF

x. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: LoL do actors count? If no, then not really, it wouldn't start out as him being unattainable, but it would progress to him being an absolute jackass

x. Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did: of course, did it the other day in fact

x. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: usually I go for people I connect with, looks were never that important, so yeah

x. Want someone you don't have right now: not anymore

x. Are you lonely right now: a bit

x. Song thats stuck in your head: nope

x. Do you want to get married: yes

x. Do you want kids: definitely

FAVORITE

x. Room in house: bedroom

x. Type(s) of music: it varies, pop mostly

x. Band(s): Evanescence, always

x. Color: PINK

x. Perfume or cologne: Victoria's Secret Heavenly and Very Sexy..also Issey Miyake's original perfume

x. Month: no preference

x. Stone: sapphire, ruby and diamonds

IN THE LAST WEEK, HAVE YOU...

x. Cried: yes-- friday, saturday, sunday, prolly even tomorrow...

x. Bought something: yep

x. Gotten sick: yes, was sick all week

x. Sang: every day

X. Wanted to tell someone you loved them: yes.. not anymore though

x. Met someone new: I wish

x. Hugged someone:yes.. Mbak Oliv before we left the party.

So there it goes.... that's about as honest as I can get with surveys... have a good week guys, love ya all!

Wassalam

Assalamu'alaikum......

Yesterday was pretty much wasted at home for me. I had a headache in the morning, which fortunatey got better in the afternoon. I then went to Pierpont to print out my psycho notes, which I had unwittingly write and saved in my office comp desktop. Why do I need the notes? Unlike oher "graduated" people, I still have summer class, which means I still have an exam. After printing out the notes, though, my motivation to study plummeted, my headache came back, and i just hauled ass back to my room for another round of TV and cozying under the blanket.

Right now I am so not motivated to do anything at all. I need to go buy shoes. Lotsa shoes. Maybe a couple of new handbags too. Dude, if there's a Dior store in Ann Arbor, I would be there in a flash and just waste whatever money I have on a purse (which is probably the ony thing I can afford anyway).

I gotta go take a bath and try to motivate myself to do ANYTHING. TV is getting lame. Later.

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum.....

Yesterday my mom told me that Kak Yann's Angah had just died in the hospital. Innalillah ...... It certainly puts quite a lot of things in perspective. Like how small my own problems are right now, and how helpless my sister-in-law must feel. Angah was only 34, and just had a baby who's 3 months old. Poor thing.

After work, after much debate with myself over the matter, I decided to go to Mas Wasi and Mbak Oliv's farewell party at Mya's house. Saying goodbye to Mbak Oliv later that night was so hard, it took everything I had to keep me from crying, and I have to say the fact that everyone was laughing and making jokes made the whole process easier. I cried so much earlier that day, in a way I didn't have much in me to cry again. One of the harder parts was keeping all other emotions in check, and though I slipped at times, I think I managed pretty well. Playing dodge in a party isn't so easy after all, even in a house as big as Mya's.

I couldn't sleep last night, it's just one of those nights I guess. Had a hell of a night tossing and turning and the fact that my throat was really bothering me didn't help either. The day has only started and already all I wanna do is sit under my quilt and drown my sorrows by watching reruns of any inane MTV show.

I just hate being sad.

Wassalam......

Assalamu'alaikum....

2 entries in one day... haven't done that in a long time. It can either be a good thing or a bad thing, but since I am crying my eyes out at work (Merry's short sighted, and I've been caughing a lot lately, so no one really notices anyway and I'm safe from being fired), then y'all can assume it's a bad thing then.

Know what I want? Right now I want to run away to a place where I don't have to feel any pain, be it physically, emotionally or mentally. I want to run away to a place where you can breathe everything good and all the bad thinsg are far, far away. I want to be where things are simple and simple to see, where you don't miss anything and everything is what you want it to be.

I want to be at a place where I can love and be loved in return. I want to be somewhere peaceful and quiet no one take anything for granted.. including me. I want to be at a place where saying nothing at all is equal to saying everything. I wanna be where the sun shines bright and the moon is brighter, where a smile is "Hello", a handshake is "I like you" and a kiss is "Be mine". I want to be at a place where I can have everything, only to realize that I actually need nothing.

Actually, all I want right now is to be free of everything.. free of responsibilities, free of pain, free of the expectations that as an adult, I have to act a certain way and I should feel a certain way or else I'm not mature enough or I'm not a good person .... or even worse, not good enough. Especially when I know I'm a good person and a good friend and a good daughter.

Sadness overcomes you, but what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right? So I'm just gonna do what I have to do fuck everyone who don't like the methods.

Wassalam...

Assalamu'alaikum....

Back at work again. Yesterday was a sucky day for me. I woke up at 7.00am feeling like someone had repeatedly hit my head with a baseball hat throughout the night, and my forehead also felt really hot (sure sign of fever). So I called the office and told them I won't be coming in that morning. There goes my gocery money for the week. Oh well. Good thing I had a 10.45 am appointment with Dr. Sullivan, I was ready to just be done with the whole sore throat and cold thing (it's been a week! my voice is ruined! ruined I tell you!). Anyway, as it was only 7am, I decided to just send Merry and Michael an email, took some Advil and went back to sleep.

Anyway, I woke up at 10am. I'm not the type who can immediately get ready in half an hour, but I managed to somehow. However, the bus that I was aiming for left just when I was a good few steps away from the bus stop. I began to panic considering that if I wasn't at the specialist office by 10.45am, he's just gonna go home and I'd be stuck with a red nose for an extra one week. So I called Is and thankfully enough he was already up and willing to help me out by sending me to UHS. Phew! My hero, LoL. Seriously, if he wasn't there, I would've been dead meat. We got to the UHS in just the nick of time. The doctor took a culture of my throat and sent it to the lab, so hopefully by today I know what I'm allergic to, if I am allergic to anything. In the meantime, Sudafed (or SudaGest, which is what I got from the pharmacy) is my best friend.

That afternoon was spent at home reminiscing the days when my voice was sexy and my nose wasn't red enough to stop traffic. LoL. Actually I was supposed to go out with Deera and Alisa to the mall but since I was sick they went on without me. Noooooo!! I wanna go shop too!!! LoL, actually I could barely keep my eyes open yesterday, so I just went back to sleep. I woke up feeling better, my face was less swollen and my head didn't feel quite so stuffy. Still, it sucked to miss day of work particularly when the day before, I had chosen to go to work instead of going to Cedar Point with Wann, Nik and Putri. Hopefully they had a better time there than I did at home (in fact, I'm sure they did). Alisa came and cooked me a nice "sup ayam" for dinner. Yummmmm..... thankee Tel!! You rock babe.

So here I am today, back at work. Michael and Merry had actual jobs for me today instead of just answering the phone and sorting the mail. Oh, and I called the clinic, apprently I don't have strep throat, which is good, but they're not telling what I do have... which is bad. So Thursday, the day before my Psych exam, I have an appointment with an "allergist" (?) at 10am, which means I gotta go and miss an hour of work that morning. Sucks so bad. I hate it when things interfere with me and my money, heheh.

Okay, I gotta go, ciao!

Wassalam.

Assalamu'alaikum....

Kemarin call umah, nak tgk org umah camane, sihat ke tak and all that. Kak Yann balik kampung nak tgh Angah die, sebab Angah belum sedar lagik and belum keluar from ICU. The week before die tak dapat nak balik sebab die baru start keje kat this new company, so last week was akhir bulan, and she had to dispense paychecks, kalau tak ramai je yg mengamuk. Company gabak camtuh pun sorang je accountant die. Aiyoh.

So since Kak Yann balik kampung, tinggal lah my parents ngan Abang Rizal nak jage budak-budak bertuah due orang. Mase cakap kat phone, mak komplen yg abang asyik dengan Sony PSP baru die, naik atas kunci bilik nak main game, so mak ngan bapak yg kene jage. Heheh... I'm sure my mom tgh exaggerate sket, tapi that sounds so much like my eldest bro. Plus mak jugak yg layan gie belikan abang Sony PSP tuh, which costs about sebulan my summer gaji (tak byk gaji pun keje jadi student secretary nie).

Anyway, tgh dok borak-borak ngan mak dekat phone, tetibe dgr bunyik Aishah menjerit. Rerupenye die baru kene debik dengan Ajiq pakai kayu. My immediate concern was ... camane lah Ajiq boleh dapat kayu? Oh, mak cakap, bukan kayu betul, die amek bunga matahari plastik mak, cabut die punye bunge and libas Aishah ngan part "kayu" yg tinggal tuh lah. Oooo... ok. Lepas Ajiq libas Aishah, die lari naik atas sebab takut kene marah. Aishah plak terkontang-kanting kat bawah tgh sakit.

Nak kasi pujuk si Aishah, mak letak die dekat phone soh cakap dengan "Mak Su". Dude I feel so old being called Mak Su. But she was so cute on the phone, tak reti cakap tapi kejap-kejap gelak. LoL I miss her so much. She was so cute when I left her and I just miss her so.

Next up, Ajiq plak cakap dekat phone. Tanye die tgh buat ape, die kate "Menum" (minum). Tanye tgh minum ape, die cakap "dis wan, dis wan". Pikir-pikir jap, baru sedar die cakap "this one". Aduh, dah 4 tahun pun tak reti nak form exact ayat lagik. Next year dah leh masuk pre-school dah pun pelat. I'm worried. But the whole pointing to his cup pastu cakap cam org bleh nampak cawan die is kinda cute.

Mak pesan soh belikan Ajiq kasut baru sebab kasut yg mak belikan hari tuh tak muat rupenye. Kesian Ajiq takleh pakai kasut Spiderman die. Though I'll have to check kalau betul die suke lagi Spiderman ke tak before I go out and buy, ntah2 die dah bosan. The last time budak tuh pakai a spider-suit die nampak cam tgh pakai spender merah kat muke ... eww. But hey, I'll buy them whatever they want as long as it's not with my money, LoL.

Kelakar bile pikir certain org tgh keje keras save duit sebab nak kawin, and I don't have that purpose to motivate me working. I work sebab I expect myself to work this summer. It's not really even about the money, actually, I would have gladly taken a less paying job if it meant that I would have been able to program and gain some real engineering experience. However this was the first job that came along, I was already familiar with the position, and that's that.

I just made a pot of coffee and I'm STILL sleepy. So macam nak kene try and preoccupy meself sekejap, kalau tak sure tertido atas kibod. Adoi.

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum....

I have started working in the office again. Last year I think I worked about 20 hours per week, this year it's up to 25. Sam's gone, and they haven't hired a new temporary secretary yet, so here I am answering phones, sorting mails and basically just doing some light secretarial jobs, though Michael did say he might need me to type out stuff. I may be a computer science major, but I pretty much suck at typing. I can't touch type, which is a problem when I need to type fast but is a good thing in terms of me using my laptop 'cause my Vaio doesn't have a full size keyboard. If you're even a little bit of a techie you would understand the preceding sentence, LoL, and if you're not, well I guess you're just gonna have to ask someone (heheheh)

So my schedule is pretty much this:

8.30am - 10.30 am : Work
11.00am - 1.00 pm : Class on central (PSYCH 111)
1.30 pm - 4.30 pm : Back to work
5.00 pm onwards : hopefully basketball/kickboxing (whaa?)/DDR/TV and homework later

Since my days pretty much start at 8.30am except for Wednesdays, that leaves the whole staying-up-till-2am-playing-video-games thing outta the question. Well, at least I'm making money. My spending is pretty much in control these days, which is good.

Yesterday Nik and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch. The sandwiches are pretty good (for your info, if you don't know this already, we don't call it fish burger or chicken burger, it's always "sandwich" for anything none-beefy, unless it's a no-meat garden burger.... americans are weird), and the wings are divine, even though Nik basically sweated while polishing off (rather quickly) the wings like he was pumping it at the gym. Note to self: go for the sweeter sauce next time.

We had a really good waitress for lunch. I can't understand how certain people can be so stingy when tipping. Jennifer, who waitressed last summer and fall, said that her income almost solely comes from tips since they only make 2.38 an hour.... and this was at a good restaurant, not some greasy diner off of some highway. I mean, I would understand the stingy tipping if the service was bad, but certain wait-staff really went above and beyond and really deserved to be treated (and paid) better. I guess I feel a bit defensive about this simply because I've seen Jen come back from work really tired and burnt-out and a table of five managed to not leave her a tip. Sucks seeing your friend miserable like that.

Okay, it's 10am and I gotta get ready to jet and get to class. Ciao!

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum....

My family has gone home, and I've moved into a new Northwood apartmement. My life officially sucked the minute my parents walked into the cab-van and then sped off to the airport. I basically went back to my room and cried like a baby for a good 5 minutes. Then I got over it and went straight back to unpacking certain stuff that I would need for school tomorrow. Dude I hate taking classes just for the sake of staying here, especially since there's a really good chance that I won't get into grad school because of funding, and I won't get a job because everything requires me to move... and I don't wanna.

My mom and dad were cool enough to buy me a ton of stuff while they were here. I have a new outfit for the office (so that I don't look like I go to work in my PJs) and I also have a new "baby" in the house, so my laptop now has some competition to the title Favorite Hardware. My mom also bought me a pair of pink-lined white K Swiss shoes, which I like, but are kinda hard right now since they're really new.

So the few days before they went back home, I took them shopping at Briarwood, Target (for chocolates), Best Buy and also a pit stop at Game Stop. Then Kirah was kind enough to drive us to Birch Run (I hate freeways, if I don't know where I'm going, I'd rather not drive), where my family made some srious dent at Liz Claiborne. We basically cleaned the store out of cute handbags. My family also bought some Nike shoes, which were surprisingly cute. Then there was the OshKosh B'Gosh store (can't forget the kiddies) and Guess.

No more mom and home cooked meals... it sucks. Privacy is good, everything else isn't. Sure I complain about stuff, and I lose my cool sometimes, but nothing is better than family.

I am so sleepy right now. School tomorrow.. me need sleep... zzzzzz......

Wassalam