Assalamu'alaikum.....

Sile lah datang site memorial untuk arwah Nanim, by clicking here .

Right now I'm currently at the Fishbowl (a computing site), tgh tunggu Dennis datang so boleh start bincang EECS 281 punye project plan. Before that, I went to my math professor's office hour sebab homework yang baru die kasi tuh haram jadah tak reti nak buat, heheh. Kate dah miss kelas seminggu, that racks up to 3 hours. Banyak tuh, material dah lah susah-susah. But I notice that he's being extra nice to me and siap boleh kasik jawapan soalan, alhamdulillah, takdelah pening sangat kepale nie.

I've never been the most obedient child. Slalu je degil takmoh dengar cakap bapak (cakap mak dengar lagik, entah, double standard kejap). Bapak suruh jadi doktor, tak nak sebab tak nak duduk matriks lame2, nak gie overseas. The only thing that I did listen to him was that to involve myself in the computing area. Know what, I wish I had listened to everything my daddy said, sebab ikut cakap parents nie banyak berkat nye. Sebagai contoh, my courses, susah camane pun, kambing cmane pun results, bile sampai at the end of the term, belum lagi lah nak dapat C or worse. Alhamdulillah sgt2. And sekarang nie, bile situation yang buat kepale tak menentu nie jadi, things are still within my control lah jugak, and tetibe banyak lah pulak "kelapangan" yang wujud (macam prof kasi jawapan tuh). Made me wonder, ntah2 kalau ikut cakap bapak jadi doktoir hari tuh, I might have breezed through everything nice and well, hehehe. Then again, kalau jadik doktor, takdelah kesempatan nak kenal arwah Teh ngan arwah Nanim. I wouldn't trade their friendship for anything in the world.

Due tige hari nie, both of my inboxes kene flood dengan takziah emails. Terime kasih Farah ucapkan. Some messages siap share their own experiences jugak, ade people yang went through worse experiences than I did, I wonder where they got the stregth nak keep moving on. But now, I have a problem. I can't reply to all (at least not now) sebab I'm struggling nak catch up with stuff, but I feel bad about deleting emails sebab people took time from their day nak write those, so I need to at least reply cakap thanks and then delete. But if I don't delete, my inbox takleh nak masuk new emails (average sekarang nie is about 10 or more emails per hour). Haru lah pulak. So to people reading this and have sent me condolences emails, thank you so much, I'll try to get on replying everything ASAP.

Know what, I've been getting emails from perfect strangers yang felt for my pain and loss as well as for those of the families and UMIMSA students..... so many emails, and a few phone calls. A lot of people try nak contact me, all except one. One person who surprised me beyond reason sebab tak dengar kabar berite langsung. Takkan lah nak tunggu sampai I sendiri yang accident baru u nak contact :( .I do not ask for your pity, or even your compassion, tapi entahlah, when u didn't contact me at all, I was a little hurt. Sebab maybe if the situation is reversed, and you were in my place, I would've tried to contact you and made sure you were okay. Then again, that's just me (and the rest of humankind).

There, I got that out of my system. Pikir-pikir balik, biarlah. Besides, I'm not alone, I always have Allah guiding me through life, giving me the greatest love of all. I have my loving family, my selfless and compassionate friends, and I have the whole of Malaysia reading what I wrote about both arwah, and I hope I've managed to touch other people they way both of them did when they were alive, more so after they died (I mean this in a good way tau, jgn interpret yang bukan-bukan yerr..). I have professors and colleagues who understand, and most of all, I have memories of arwah Teh and Nanim and the lessons I've learned from them to bring with me until they day that I myself pass away. What more can a person ask for?

During these last days of Ramadan, Farah nak ucapkan Selamat Menyambut Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin to semua orang, tak kisah lah kenal or tak kenal, kalau Farah ade ter cakap, terbuat salah silap, maaf kan ye. To err is human, to forgive divine. Haa.. especially mende yang terambik, termakan, terminum, halalkan lah. Last days of ramadan nie banyak berkat die, tak advantage of it :) (advice for me, too, tak sangke Ramadan dah nak habis). May all of us have a blessed life, filled with hope, joy and laughter.

Wassalam ........