Assalamu'alaikum....

First of all.... just wanna say... forget about what I wrote previously. LoL. I was being waaaaaaayyyyy too optimistic. Things can feel fine one minute and the next, you're suddenly reminded why you were really miserable before. So you can either be mature and act like it doesn't bother you, or you can be human and let it go in your own time. Being human is easier, LoL. I want to be happy, and I want to feel safe. And I'm not over it yet.

Weekend was spent very relaxingly. Max's BBQ on Saturday. Birch Run and bowling on Sunday. Alisa's going home on Friday (ooppss...). Tetibe ade tulis pasal Alisa kan. Alisa's leaving on Friday to go home! I'm gonna stowaway on one of her luggages and go home too! Ahaks! Leaving here and going home early is sounding more and more (and more) appealing day by day. Maybe I should.....

Actually, I'm just trying to figure out what I wanna do for the summer. I can't really go anywhere outside of the US, so that just leaves me with ... well, the US. My best friends are all at home (which begs the question... why am I not home yet?) so that means no trips with them. Yanie wants me to go to Dublin and visit her for a bit, but there might be some I-20 issues with that and I don't know if I can risk it or not. Oh decisions decisions.... and of course there's Montreal :) .

I just realized on Saturday that I basically suck at everything. As in I'm not particularly good at anything specific. I'm average in school, average in basketball, suck at everything else resembling sports and average in cooking. My dancing is decent at best, so is my singing, and I have no other talent whatsoever. I can't even play the piano anymore, I've forgotten so much and I'm so much out of practice. Average looks, average height...... I mean, I can honestly say that I'm a nice person, but in this world nobody really cares about that. Average person ... scary. Wish I can break free of all the mediocrity and actually be really good at SOMETHING.

On Sunday, I realized that I can talk to a person, fall asleep, wake up and continue the conversation like nothing happened... even though I was asleep for about 10 minutes. Who woulda thunk.

And now it's Monday. I'm as sleepy as shit. Work started at 8.30 am this morning. After a full day yesterday, all I want to do right now is just crawl back into bed and catch some more z's. But when I came in this morning, I had to go help Merry set up a room for a CoE conference. And after that I managed to get myself talked into a few other jobs that totally required me to be awake. This morning the office is, in Angela's words, really "jumpin' ". Out of all the days, it has to be the day that I'm sleepiest for alllllllllll o' this to happen. Right now I'm just waiting for 1.30pm to come by so I can go home and sleep my mood off.

Oh God, I'm sleepy.. I'm just gonna go get some caffeine in me and walk around a bit. Ciao!

Wassalam...