Assalamu'alaikum....

Couldn't sleep... couldn't do much work too ... decided to blog instead. So yeah, my parents are here, along with my aunt and her daughter, who's my cousin (duh!) It feels weird . Living here for four years, I've never really associated my college life with my life at home. It's a clash right there. I mean, I love my family and all, but I'm so accustomed to my freedom that right now, things are a little stiffling for me. At the ripe ol' age of 23, there are certain things that I consider my business and my business alone. I'm not used to people just asking my whereabouts anymore especially when I don't feel like volunteering the information.

Is it just me? Am I a bad kid? I thought so, until I talked to someone just now who could totally relate. I feel bad for feeling like this on the first day, but I hate feeling guilty about having projects and presentations and essays to do while The Fam is here. My friend told me it was perfectly normal that after being apart for so long, I'm a little over-protective of my privacy. I mean, seeing them over the summer and living together in that big ol' house was tough enough, but having everyone stuffed in one crampy lil' apartment is bound to test one's sanity. I have to admit that right now, I feel really inadequate because I don't have a car so that I can drive them around, I am not free till my presentation next Friday and I honestly do not know where to bring them because I live in goddamn Michigan. My idea of having them spend a few days in Chicago (with or without me, depending on the date) was immediately shot down, which didn't make my job easier. I think my stress hormone has gone up a couple of notches since this morning.

So now I can't sleep. No surprise, sleep has eluded me these past few days. Some of my friends are not sleeping on purpose 'cause they have to study. I just can't sleep, even if I have nothing lined up the next day and nothing is due yet. Sometimes I wonder what has four years of college done to me... the heartbreak of losing everything precious to you and the pressure of doing well (some say it's the effort that matters, but that only applies in La La Land). My brain just refuses to shut down. I'm not smoking pot so why are the synapses in my brain working overtime? (my medical friends are gonna kill me for butchering up their terminology).

Usually if I can't sleep.. I read. Well, aside from the light of my laptop, everything else is shut down for the night. My apartment hasn't been this dark since I left it unoccupied during Sring Break. I'm still adjusting... I think rght now I'm just being a butt and I'm not trying hard enough. We'll see.

On another note, my program has gone thourgh significant advances since the last time I bitch about it. Hooray! Microsoft still sucks, but my GSI, Harold, totally rocks! Yippee!! On another totally unrelated note.... I wanna be a usability engineer. Anyone as any ideas on how to go about doing that?

One last rant for today: Men are scum. If we don't need you for reproduction, and if it's not against my religion... I would totally turn gay. Or be a bi... I've no problem about going both ways, especially since I now realize what scumbags the male population can be. Dude, you ain't all that fine.

Wassalam....