Assalamu'alaikum....

It's 9.19 on a Saturday morning. yesterday was the latest that I slept, like 2 something. Usually I'm out cold by 12, hahahah. I'm so not suited to be a CSE student. Anyway, I'm paying for it today. Today is all about homework. I have slides to do, photoshop assignments to make, AutoCad assignment to do (I haven't even figured out the dimensions of my dream house yet), and of course, research for XHTML and HTML and CSS. Holy crap. And best of all, Liz hasn't given me the damn Photoshop CD yet, so now I have to haul ass all the way to the Dude to get my work done. I woke this morning wanting to cry so bad. To top it off, I've been running in and outta my room this week that I didn't have time to do much of anything, and now my living room looks like hurricane Ivan and hurricane Jeanne both went through it.

Last night was spent filling out applications for a job and finding what cell phone. (*Incoming sarcasm*) Yeah, a lot of good that did, the cell phone-searching, I mean. We ended up using the same cells that half of the girls in Michigan are using, hahahah. It was a close call between a Nokia that can send video messages, and the Motorola. Ended up with the Motorola. My second brother would be so jealous, he loves that brand. Nik wanted to get a Blackberry one that looks like the discarded love-child between a keyboard and phone. Yeah, that's not gonna happen. And yesterday I found the Amoi handphone that Deera was telling me about. Yes, the brand name is Amoi, much to my chagrin. The cells themselves are pretty cool looking, a lot of them are flip phones, and unfortunately most of them are dual-band. There is a pretty green one that's kinda cute, but the specs just doesn't compare.

Anyway, enough about that. Yesterday had to go to work, of course, and Erin and I both manned the Mini Courses booth again. So I had the dubious honor, again, to smile at random people and hope that they would come over to sign up. I was telling Erin how I want to learn o type properly, you know, with my fingers on the proper keys, the "reach-and-type" way. Erin told me they learned that in middle school because it's a basic thing to learn, quite a necessity in fact. I wish our schools have that, I'm sick and tired of looking at the keyboard instead of the screen and making grammar mistakes and typos. Spell checker can't get everything, you know.

After that it was off to dance class, and then putting in a deposit for our canoeing/kayaking trip on Sunday (can't wait for that one), then it was off to home. I have a Sara Lee cheesecake in my freezer, which I polished off two slices of it yesterday. But I didn't cook much due to the fact that I wanted to finish my job application before the due date on Monday, and that thing is tedious. Let's just hope they want me after I graduate, working with an established company like that for a few years would probably give me more options on who I want to work for when I do go back home. My sister-in-law told me countless of times, "Tak payah lah nak balik awal-awal sangat kalau boleh carik keje kat US tuh". What I actually wanna do is my masters, but since that's not gonna happen anytime soon.... :( ......

I have to go now, get me some breakfast and then of to work again. Au revoir, mes amis!

Wassalam....

Asslamu'alaikum.....

I do like this song, Pulangkan by Misha Omar and Ezad. Misha Omar does have an amazing voice, I mean, you need to have a lot of control to sing songs the way she does. Another singer I like is Syafinaz, now that's an interesting voice. And of course, I have a thing for Ning Baizura songs, and I do like a lot of songs by Siti, too. Then again, who doesn't like Siti? Her songs, I mean, I have no idea how she is as a person, so I'm not gonna pass judgement. Yes, people, tonight I'm going to pretend to be mature and not kutuk Siti sampai mati. I'm going to put aside the fact that she's over-rated and over publicize that she's probably just one step away from having her own "got milk?" commercial. Oh man, I can imagine it now.... knowing Siti... "susu ada?"..... yuck.

Anyway, I just got back from Phi Rho game night. It was fun, we laughed a lot and barely got through our games. One of the girls, Genevieve, had just gotten in our varsity cheerleading squad, so she's cheering at Saturday's game. I'm happy for her, she's so funny, and she's smaller than I am, so guys can just pick her up and throw her in the air no problem (we have a co-ed squad). Anyway, game night we played Jenga and something else that I can't remember. It was just fun, I have no idea how to describe it, you just need to be there.

Okay, so today at work, I manned the MiniCourses booth over at Pierpont. I was expecting a lot of traffic, but that wasn't exactly the case. I saw Ali, Travis, Deera, Alisa, Kirah, Sheikh, and some other people, but of course, none of them wanted to register in the mini courses. So I basically sat at the table cursing ITCS because I couldn't log in to my mailbox to check my mails. Stupid ITCS, I didn't go to a quant presentation because of you, did u know that? GET IT FIXED NOW!!! Waaaa.... I want my mails, *sob*.

Today, when I went to my gamelan class, I freaked out a bit, even though I kept mostly quiet, because the seeing eye dog that belongs to one of the students was ridiculously near my bag. I almost jumped from my instrument to save my stuff, it wasn't even funny. I so don't wanna 'cause trouble, but I am having trouble being so near a dog, regardless how well behaved it is.

Tomorrow, we don't have EECS 497. Thank goodness. I can go home early and just sleep. Not that I've been lacking in that department.......

I've been fasting all day and all I had to berbuka was a sandwich, so I'm gonna go rummage through my fridge now. Ciao, bella!

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum....

Hullo people (or hullo to myself if no one's going to read this)!! I know it's been a few days since I've last updated, I have been kinda busy. I've had rush events to attend to, meetings to go, books to read for my design class, dance to practice (yes, I do practice in my room so that I don't forget), and of course, trying to find where the heck AccuCopy is so that I can get my coursepack. Yeah, that last endeavor was completely fruitless, so I'm going to have to ask Vera, my GSI, where it is and just go buy the damn thing tomorrow after dance class. My favorite piece of news this week: no EECS 497 class this Friday. Yeah baby! I can actually spend Friday doing something fun, for once, instead of being too pooped after a week of running around campus.

I have a new gmail account, courtesy of Liz who's going to send my Adobe Photoshop through it, since we have a gig of space. In case you're wondering why do I need photoshop for, I'm supposed to be designing the logo and how our interface would look like for Monday's presentation. Oh... No. I mean, I'm good at spotting what's good and what's "in" (even though my own clothes nowadays look anything but "in", more like "should be out in the dumpster"...*shudder*), but I do like looking around at websites at looking at their codes and stuff, so I got design duty. Yes, I do like looking at websites, I'm just bad at reading other people's blogger, hahaha. I have a terminal case of jealousy, where if I read something cool that other people did, I would be happy for them, but depressed for me, because I wanna do it, too! And if I see something... hmm.... hurtful, yang tak sedap mata memandang (take it how you want to, as long as people who know me best know what it is), that would just ruin the whole day for me. If I can describe this behavior in one word, it would be obsessive. Hahaha... nuts, I sound like a complete fruitcake. I'm really not...

I'm going t barn dance! Yippeee! It's not held in Canada! So I can go! And I'm going to stop now with the exclamation marks! Seriously, I'm stopping..... Yeah, so I'm going, and I'm bringing a friend, and it should be fun :) . Or at least interesting. Thank goodness I'll be going to barn dance, if not I'd have to spend that night in my room counting tiles on my bathroom floor, and maybe shoot myself in the process. I emailed Krystal, and she told me that she's going to try to get a winter formal venue somewhere in Ann Arbor or Detroit, so that I can go to that, too. Yay! Formal! Pretty dresses, big hair, pretty make-up..... I'm such a girlie-girl. But seriously, glad :) . I can't wait to start shopping for a gown, it should be so much fun. So I'm saving up money from now to buy me a gown, and a pretty one at that, maybe something in maroon or pink..... or black.... maybe red would be nice..... hopefully not blue.... green?

Okay, so I have to go get ready for class and then work, so I gotta go, but hopefully if Katharine is outta the office for the day again, I might be able to pen in. I can't wait till this week is over.

Assalamu'alaikum....

Okay, so this has to be the weirdest Sunday for me ever. I was up at 8 in the morning, and didn't stop doing my assignment until, like, 6 pm, and I only stopped because I had to go to a Phi Rho meeting. Thank goodness for Phi Rho. Luckily enough, I got my assignment done on my copy of AutoCad (ehem ehem), and best of all, when I tried printing it just now, everything came out perfect. Oh, joy!!! And I really mean it this time, no sarcasm intended at all.

Anyway, I was at the Union, where the meeting was supposed to be, when I noticed that the girls left me a post-it that said "farah -> we're at the league, room D", so I had to haul ass there and missed a good 10 minutes of the meeting. Oops, that's what you get when u go out of your room early. Haha... never doing that again. Now all I have to do is to find someone to bring to barn dance... hmm... any takers? I have to get my reply in by Friday, so if anyone wanna go, gimme a holler, if not, then I'll just have to "ajak" random... errr... persons.

Right now my ass is parked in The Dude, next to Wann and somewhere near Nik. I haven't seen Nik for weeks, and Wann for months, so it's nice :) . With the exception of Jen, I managed to see all of my friends this past week, starting from last weekend. That's kinda cool :) .

I want to write more but my fingers are numb from the cold. Let me leave you with this food for thought.... I will try, in one of my subsequent entries, to use the word "ass" in every few sentences so that I, and you, will get sick of it, and then we never have to use it again. Because I'm starting to use that word a lot, and it's sooooo not ladylike, and as someone who holds aspirations to work for Goldman Sachs (wha...? That has nothing to do with engineering even!), I need to not say "ass". Ever. Never ever. Well maybe not ever.....

Wassalam...

p/s: If you didn't understand the AutoCad thing, just know that my AutoCad copy came from Malaysia. That should be enough of a clue. If you still don't get it ..... what, did you expect me to explain further? Hehehe.... find someone who does...

Assalamu'alaikum....

Before I start writing, I just want to say takziah to someone who I know is going through a hard time in his life right now. May Allah always give you courage and strength to go through the rest of your days, and may He lessen the pain for you. Know that you and your family are always in my prayers.

My weekend has been more interesting than the last one, to say the least. My arm started bleeding again yesterday morning. To put it short: pick-up, doctor's visit, had everything bandaged, went to Dennis' house to relax and put stuff out my mind. Luckily, I got my laundry done, and Mrs. Blay cooked spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. Unfortunately (depending on how you look at it, I guess, since I did get a lot of stuff done), I missed Hasdi's open house. Very dissapointed (stop laughing, I actually would have liked to go). After that, Dennis and his mom brought me to Meijer's so that I don't have to lug things around by bus, with the arm and all, so I now have cereal to eat, such joy. I bought my normal pick-me-up, Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds. I arrived back home sometime before 9, and spent the rest of the night pondering on some stuff that I haven't really thought about for some time.

I am going to spend the rest of today catching up on homework and stuff that I neglected this past week. And I better start now, I still have a long way to go. Ciao, bella!

Wassalam...

Assalamu'alaikum....

I'm at work right now, and I have nothing to do. Katharine's out to a meeting, I completed her list of task yesterday, and now Erin and I are both just sitting around the office on our computers just waiting for our shift to be over. Such joy. Everyday should be like today. I mean, think about it, I get paid to sit around and I get to boast on my resume that I do actual PR work (which I do excellently, I might add. PR is so much fun). I haven't really got time to pen in these coupe o days, so to those who absolutely live for my writing (*wink wink*), sorry about that. I'll try to remember to pen in daily so that all of you won't feel at lost when looking at the screen and see the same entry over and over and over...... (heheh... note the sarcasm)

Anyway, let's start with Northfest. That was on Tuesday. It was fun, I had a lotta fun sitting at our booth and saying random hellos to people walking by. Sarah asked if I knew all of them, I said no, I only know a few. So we worked out kinda a system to prey on unsuspecting young ladies to join Phi Rho. I would smile, say hi and beckon them to our booth, while Sarah would explain what we do during meetings and the social events we have. Sophia did a great job all by herself due to the fact that she was a telemarketer for 3 years (did I mention from before that I looove her haircut? It's so cute ). Best part was that all of us, and the people who came to our booth, got a free massage from Suzanna, a masseuse from goodness knows where. She's excellent, seriously. My neck and shoulders felt so much better after she had her way with them.

I'm hoping that Nik and Ali wouldn't wanna kill me for setting Rob loose on them... at least I think his name is Rob. For the purpose of this entry, let's just call him Rob. Anyway, Rob is a Triangle alumnus who's trying to get the fraternity back on campus. He was standing near our table with a bunch of Triangle stuff. And who had the misfortune to walk by but Nik and Ali, on their way to ME class. You poor, poor male species, you.... I smiled, told Rob that they're engineering students, and Rob took it from there by giving his schpeel (I think that's the term you use when you pitch your frat or sorority to someone). Poor Ali and Nik.... sorry guys!! Anyway, Rob was so impressed by the way I waylaid people all morning, he kept teasing me ("Am I allowed to give you grief?") and calling me "Miss Fawcett". Fortunately enough I'm a good sport about it .... and I had class to go. So that was that.

Later in the afternoon, Deera and I had our dance class with Mas Wasi and Mbak Oliv. We actually learned something new today instead of the normal blah stuff we did, and later after class we had some french fries and bubble tea at Bubble Island. Yummm.... actually my cheese french fries didn't come from Bubble Island, they came from that place beside East Quad that I never bothered the learn the name. That was the most unhealthy meal I've had for the last 2 weeks. I'm sad that McDonald's is not in Pierpont anymore because I can't get any cheap meals, but it's forcing me to down healthier foods instead of burgers and fries. Deera and I finished half of our fries and drinks at Bubble Island before going back up to North.

Wednesday... let's see, what happened then? Nothing that I can really remember, so it's probably not worth mentioning. Oh wait, I had my doctor's appointment and I had my insurance waived at the International Center. People, get your insurance waived NOW or else you'll get billed for 200 bucks.

Thursday.... I had my Architecture class, and I got my assignment back, with marks I can be proud of, thank goodness. The it was work, and off to gamelan class. Wait, did she write gamelan? Yes I did... I never really had much interest in it in high school, I was always more involved in the choir club, singing was my "thing", heheh.... but I just thought, heck, why not give it a try here since I'll be earning a credit anyway, so it's not a total waste of time. It wasn't that bad, I expected to screw up since I wasn't there for the first class and therefore, missed learning the song, but it only took me a few minutes to get into the rhythm of things. Thank goodness. The only uncomfortable part for me was when a blind student brought her seeing-eye dog into class. I mean, I'm all for equal oppurtunities here, but being that close to a dog, no matter how good he is, creeps me out. But the dog was good throughout the class, so after a while, it was easy to forget he was even there.

Friday.... currently working (yeah, right) , then a doctor's appointment again, then off to dance class, and then to my major design class. Fridays and Mondays creep me out because of my design classes, I always wanna wet myself. Did I really expect it to be quite so simple to get a degree..... err, yes. That's it, if I get to grad school, I wanna do financial engineering and work with money... my passion :) .

Okay, that's long enough, sorry for the abrupt goodbye but I really gotta pee. Ciao, peeps!!

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum....

Yesterday we had our EECS 497 meeting, and I ended up working with Kate again this semester and another girl. Yeay!! This would have to be the first EECS class where I have an all-girl team. Chicks rule!! Anyway, we'll be (trying) to develop an online EECS advising service. We were put into groups of three, and the other girl is Liz who seems very techie (well she does work at the CAEN lab). I'm kinda jealous of the other groups who get to do cool stuff like turning a cell phone into a response keypad, or games for PDAs and iPods, in fact, there was this one dude who wanted to work on touch-pad for ordering drinks in a bar. However, I do want to work on something that's more web-related something the students might benefit from, and online advising would be kinda nice :). It won't stop me from drooling over other people's project, but this should be fun.

I had to go chalking at the North Campus Diag yesterday, so everyone walking on NC today would see my amazing talent at .. ermm.. writing. Heheh.... We have Northfest today, and I'll be at Phi Sigma Rho's booth this morning, from 11-12 pm, so if anyone wanna stop by to say hi or get some info about the sorority, you're welcome to do so. Oh, before I forget, if you're interested and would like to meet some of the actives and get more info, we have mass meetings today, Tuesday, at 7.30 pm in 1017 Dow, and another tomorrow, Wednesday, at Mojo, 7.30 pm, main Jordan door. Just pick one time and go. I'll be at the one held at Dow, so maybe I'll see some girls tonight!

Just one more item of interest before we get back to my life (oh joy..). Starting this year, some of the Triangle alumni would like to re-establish the Triangle fraternity here in Michigan. If you're wondering what Triangle is, it's a fraternity for male students majoring in engineering and hard sciences, such as biology, astronomy, chemistry etc. They're currently looking for people of all class standings to help them set-up the fraternity back on campus. So it doesn't matter if you're a senior and you're graduating, you can still be involved. Personally, I think it's kinda cool to be one of the pioneers, you get to have your name in the book as the starting chapter, and frat members will remember you for years to come. And if you're a senior, you won't be in the frat long enough to be sick of it, heheh, but you get the recognition of being one of the starting members. Us girls at Phi Rho are helping to recruit new members, so if you're interested and you're at the U-M, you should know my email address by now, just drop me an email and I'll forward it to my president.

Okay, enough with that item of business. After chalking yesterday, I collapsed on my bed and fell asleep, it was a long day. And I think today is going to go even longer, I have Northfest to go to at 11, then class at 12.30, maybe UHS after that, then dance class at 5.30pm, then the mass meeting at 7.30 pm. Oh, such joy it is to have my days filled with absolute crap. If you're saying "You have that big break between the 12.30 class and the dance class", then you should know that until I've finished every class, there is no break for me. I haven't done afternoon naps for a year, unless one class was early morning, like it ends at 11 am, and the other starts at 6pm or later.

Okay, I am outta stuff to write. so ciao people and havva great day!

Wassalam...

Assalamu'alaikum....

I'm currently trying to schedule a doctor's appointment with UHS, but the damn system put me on hold... for the last 3 minutes. That's long, man... I can crap my pants right now, and the crap would turn to dust... and I'd still be holding the phone, waiting for that special moment in time when someone at the other end would pick up and say "Good afternoo, University Health Service, how may I help you?" ... You can start helping by buying me new pants, that's how, and maybe pencil me in to see a doctor while you're at it. By the way, while I'm typing this... I'm still holding the phone...

I'm too grumpy and sleepy to write anything really good right now, but I was at Amanda's website, and I just thought I'd put this in for fun:

Bold everything that is true!!

01. My hair is still its natural color
02. I have yet to lose my virginity
03. I get annoyed when I don't get to finish telling a story.
04. I like to wear pink
05. Sometimes I wish I could do something really, really amazingly well.
06. I drink a lot of water.
07. I've never taken a hit of a cigarette.
08. I like musicians.
09. I'm such a health freak.
10. I love taking pictures.
11. I have really tiny wrists.
12. I can identify some close friends by smell.
13. I'm far too nice.
14. I hate when people confuse "your" and "you're"
15. I think dorkiness is attractive
16. I've never had a fake screen name.
17. I wish I had a pug.
18. I miss middle school.
19. I have pretty good eating habits.
20. I have a hard time making up my mind sometimes.
21. I wish my hair naturally curled.
22. I can't live without chapstick.
23. I wish I could sing
24. I like classical music. It's not bad.
25. Striped pants are hot.
26. I think Schylar is a really cool name.
27. I usually don't get sarcasm. (yes I do... in fact I contributed to some)
28. I wish I could look in a mirror and constantly be satisfied with myself.
29. I shift between being sleepy and awake when I'm really tired.
30. I hardly ever vaccum. Meaning I personally don't vaccum, other people do..
31. I hate racism and nazi's.
32. I want someone to hold me.
33. I like watermelon flavored things.
34. I'm a snob about grammar.
35. I am a terrible liar (nope, actually really good it at, it's just that I don't do it often.. anymore )36. Axe deoderant smells WONDERFUL
37. I wish I knew how to speak in Italian.
38. I tried to kiss a member of the opposite sex when I was in kindergarten.
39. I am learning to be happy wherever I am.
40. I have no idea what my school musical is about.
41. I appreciate honesty. honesty is the best policy (probably why I stopped lying in the first place).
42. I need a manicure.
43. I love Dr. Pepper.
44. I twirl my hair.
45. I like kissing (*sigh*)
46. i don't own a cellphone
47. I want to learn to play the harp.
48. I'm not old enough to vote.
49. I live in the past far too much.
50. I need to remember to be a teenager sometimes ( some of these don't apply, hello I'm 21)
51. I want to see most of the world.
52. Sometimes I wonder what's going on in other parts of the world.
53. I hate being lied to.(Having things hidden from you ain't no picnic either)
54. I believe in a thing called love.
55. I go shopping usually once a week.
56. Today is Wednesday.
57. I've read more than a 100 books.(heck, I own more than 100)
58. I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
59. I like feet.
60. I like getting compliments.
61. I want the world to see me.
62. I think it's funny when girls wear so much makeup that their faces become incandescent.
63. I hate seeing kids that think they're different because they like Slipknot and shop at Hot Topic.
64. I have a fear of wearing too much perfume.
65. I wear pants more than I wear shorts
66. I am tactful most of the time.
67. I'm afraid of spiders
68. I get too attached to some people.
69. I'm usually on time.
70. I forgive but I don't forget. (the forgiving part is hard enough)
71. I think way too much for my own good
72. My current relationship is teaching me a lot.
73. I like salads from McDonalds.
74. I read for at least two hours every night before bed.
75. I talk to a lot of people I don't like because I hate being rude.
76. I talk to myself in the shower.
77. Funny guys turn me on.
78. I wish I were asleep.
79. I love Reeses peanut butter cups.
80. I never have enough energy.
81. I have a friend who has an outtie bellybutton.
82.I have driven a car.
83. There is no nailpolish on my nails.
84. I am unafraid to change, but I don't think I realize the boundary between change and utter transformation.
85. I wear brown, thin-rimmed glasses.
86. Goodbyes make me sad.
87. Cold Stone is so much better than Baskin Robbins
88. I love cuddling. (it's just so sweet)
89. I run when I'm bored. (I wish, man)
90. I wish I were more attractive to others.
91. I worry too much sometimes about what people think.
92. I'm a billion times better than I was in junior high school. ( and in high school!!)
93. Compliments make me happy.
94. I like long car rides with certain people.
95. I HATE when people incorrectly label me. in general, i hate labels
96. I wonder a lot who I'm going to end up marrying.
97. I listen to the things no one else cares about.
98. I can't draw from imaginiation.
99. TyPiNg LIeK diS anNoyes mEeeh.
100. This took too long

Grrr... makan orang...

Wassalam...

Dear Aaron Jeffries (not his real name),

The first time I saw you, it was freshman year. You didn't notice me then, because there were a throng of freshmen around us at Angell Hall and I was a shrimp (translate: person of short stature). I still am, actually. You, on the other hand, stood a good 6 feet tall... okay, so maybe 5' 11" , but the spiky hair that you sported gave you some height, and everyone seemed to be six feet tall to me back then. I thought you were kinda cute in a non-buff-but-not-skinny kinda way. I think it was the baggy jeans that did it for me, since they weren't so big that half of your boxers would be exposed for the world to see , and they weren't too long so that you would trip every few steps. And Angell Hall had a lotta steps.

Back when I first saw you and you didn't notice me, I was single, had just arrived in the US for a week, and was excited at the prospect of meeting new friends, boys and girls alike. You were standing near a wall and talking to a gorgeous blonde, who later turned out to be in the same physics lecture with me. I thought she was your girlfriend. You probably would have said otherwise.

After that fateful day, I saw you around campus a couple of times, but aside from that, no further thought of you entered my mind. My life went on, filled with ups and downs, happiness and dissapointments, and all of them unrelated to you. You were just a memory, a memory of the first guy in Michigan who I thought was "kinda cute".

The first time you noticed me was in the spring of freshman year, 2 semesters after that day in Angell Hall. By then I already made some new friends, everyone seemed like their normal hight and I wasn't so single anymore. I was down on central, had just finished checking out Border's (the bookstore) and was checking out some stuff outside of Sharman Drum (another bookstore). I was bored, I had nothing to do, so I decided to go the newly opened Bubble Island to read the book I bought. I saw you pass me by, but didn't think you noticed me. Later, I found you outside of the bookstore, sitting on one of those round stone benches..... y'know, the one that circles the tree? I didn't think much about it, I just walked pass you and crossed the street to go to get me some honeydew milk tea.

I heard footsteps behind me just as I arrived in front of Bubble Island, and I heard the words "Excuse me...". I turned around, and my heart did a triple sommersault when I saw you, dark brown hair and all. All I wanted to say was "You let your hair grow". What I did say was.. "Yes?"...

You extended your hand and actually blushed. Oh, you gorgeous, gorgeous man... "Hi, I'm Aaron. I, uh, saw you outside the bookstore, and I, eh, just thought I'd come over and say hi. You're a freshman right?". You sped through the whole sentence like greased lightning. I, on the other hand, couldn't help staring at those eyes. Ever heard of the expression in those sappy love songs, "drowning in your eyes". It felt exactly like that... I was drowning by the second, so I tear my eyes off yours , adjusted the strap of my carry-all and said "Yes, I am. How did you know that?". I was hoping you would say "I noticed you from before".

What you did say was "Lucky guess". Oh well, not all fantasies can come true. So our next conversation consisted off...

You: So, are you going somewhere specific, or are you just walking around?
Me : I was just walking around, but actually right now I'm going into Bubble Island to have some tea and maybe read my book.
You: Really? Mind if I join you?

By then I was blushing so hard, I think my whole face was red. I hope you thought I was pink from the sun and not from you. I wasn't sure what to do. It wasn't the first time I was approached, in fact, before you came up to me, someone else di just a week before that. His name was Levi (actual name), he was blonde, nice looking and had a firm handshake. He asked for my phone number, I said no because I was dating somebody .Which was more than true, in fact, that little incident resulted in a quite a few aruguments and tense phone calls with my then-boyfriend. Because of Levi, my ex and I established some ground rules, which involved no giving out phone numbers to random guys on the street. So the obvious thing to do was to brush you off and band you a stalker for the rest of my life.

I looked at you and melted. I couldn't just let you walk away without keeping some memory of you, something I could keep at a time when I couldn't keep you. Besides, I was going to tell my ex about you anyway (honesty is the best policy in a relationship... or so I thought) . So I said "Sure, it would be nice to have some company". We went in, had some drinks and conversation. We talked about everything and nothing at all. You asked me about home, I asked about classes, we talked about guys and girls and if I was dating.... Time flew by until I realized I had to get home and call my ex. I almost cried when I said goodbye, even though we smiled and said "See you around". But I was a good girl, still am, and I wouldn't two-time the person I'm with for anyone, even it was for a 6-foot brown-haired, brown-eyed cutie who blushes.

After that, events came and went, relationships were made and broken, new friendships and bonds were found, laughter and tears mingled with all the things that happened in my life. Even though I was on Central Campus a lot, I never saw you again, all I had was that spring weekend to remember you by.

Then, last Friday, as I was walking back from my dance class , I saw you. You had let your hair grow, it now fall in waves almost touching your shoulders. You sped by me on a bicycle, and I almost stopped cold right there in front of Ulrich's. For 2 years you never really entered my mind, and suddenly there you were. I wear a headscarf now, and you were speeding by me, so I don't think you noticed me at all. It was kind of dissapointing, actually, it would be nice to get some recognition that you remember me, maybe a little....

Aaron Jeffries, if I had really given my phone number to you, would we be friends now? Or would you eventually drift out of my life like the guys before you? Would you be afraid of me now that I have a piece of cloth covering my hair, or would you understand and still want to be near me? Would you be there during those times when I was in pain, or would you just say "Erm.. I have to go.. see ya!" and leave because you hate uncomfortable situations? Would it matter to you now whether I'm single or dating, or would we be such good friends that things like that doesn't matter?

Aaron Jeffries, if I smile at you now, headscarf and all, would you recognize me and remember?

Sincerely,
The girl who blushes, too

Assalamu'alaikum....

"early mornin'.. she wakes up... knock knock knock.... on the door"

Except for the knocking part, that's how my life has been lately. Dah almost seminggu mimpi bertemakan bende yg same, except mimpi semalam yg almost mati tu. Hari-hari mimpi tema tu. Bukan mimpi yg same, tapi byk melibatkan org yg same. Sorang tuh mmg stok yg everytime mimpi je, macam nak lepuk, yg sorang tu plak complicated sket. Malam tadi mimpi ade pelakon tambahan lah pulak, tapi tak nampak org nye, dgr suare dlm phone jek. Dalam mimpi sendiri pun kene marah jugak, wat de jadah..... That's it, lepas nie nak kene bace sikit kertas side effects ubat yg tgh ambik skang nie, mane tau, tetibe die cakap "Warning: may induce mild psychological effects resulting in disturbed sleep, spontaneous combustion and nausea."

Today is Saturday. Whoopee!! No class, tons of work. I'm gonna have to call home today, and since I got up early this morning, it wouldn't be all that hard to find everyone at home. Best best.... hopefully baby Aishah tak tido lagik so bleh dgr suare die. Sho cute!! Tapi kene tgk dapat beli phone card ke tak. Last semester sgt takde nasib dlm bab beli-beli phone card nie, asyik pinjam phone card Nik, call umah and soh diorang call balik. Buat buang duit je, mahal, though my sis-in-law cakap now dah ade cara nak buat cheap international calls. Waaaa... miss umah, miss borak ngan Kak Yann, miss main ngan Aishah ngan Ajiq.

Okay, 'nuff about that. Semalam pegi Lurie Building hantar resume, on the way balik tetibe nampak patung Wolverine tepi bukit tuh tgh gigit something kaler hijau. Pegi dekat-dekat... baru nampak yg patung wolverine tuh tgh gigit patung leprechaun pakai baju warne hijau. Fighting Irish ain't fightin' that hard no mo'.....Haha..... hopefully we'll cream Notre Dame today. Go Blue!! Clarissa, my Phi Rho president, buat tailgate today at 1pm, and then they're watching the game at Damons, but since I'm not exactly an avid fan of football, I don't think I'm going to either one of those. My Saturday, except for the AGM meeting, is currently very much mine, which is good sebab my Sunday dah kene reserved for Phi Rho stuff (canoeing, pizza, chalking... all in prep for rush events).

Semalam first time pegi kelas EECS 497. I went in laughing, went out wide-eyed and wishing I had stayed in Malaysia and do medicine. At least then I would know exactly what I'm doing, right now all I'm drawing is a blank. Nasib baik ade Ijat jugak dalam kelas tu, so ade someone else yg bleh share ketakutan yg teramat sgt. I mean, what do I know about mem-pomen cell phones? Pomen PDA? I barely know all the components on the inside of my computer, and Dennis dah ajar mende tuh 2 kali dah. Ttib kene buat sume-sume tuh, without the help of a professor, just the other 2 members of your team. Why did I think that I can do this? But I will prevail, even if my butt has to park in the Dude Center every single day and I never see sunlight, I... will... NOT... give... up. I'll just be dead meat ready for roasting.

So to sum up yesterday: went to work, hantar resume kat Lurie, Katharine my boss found out about it (which is making me reaaallllyyyy uncomfy), habes keje gie kelas nari, belajar basic balik (sgt tak fair this year tak ade kelas advance), kluar from kelas nari 1/2 jam awal sebab nak gie EECS 497, naik bas, gie kelas EECS 497, duduk dalam lecture hall, almost peed my pants from fright, balik umah, masak sambil chat (Smart Girls Have Everything... read the t-shirt), habes masak tuh makan (duh!), solat maghrib, then tertido, bangun, solat isya', had my yucky telephone-related dream, bangun feeling pissed sebab dah seminggu tak habes-habes topik mimpi yg same, terus bangun and currently tgh tunggu Subuh. Sekarang nie dah Subuh so now nak gie solat pulak.

Too bad I don't have time to write about Aaron Jeffries ....

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum...

Waking up at all hours in the morning...okay, make that wee hours in the morning.... is starting to become a habit with me. Luckily enough, today it wasn't my fault. No, seriously, it wasn't. At least that's how I see it, if you don't agree with me after reading this next paragraph, well, I don't really give a damn, haha..... Let' start with the freakishly violent nightmare I had (this one is different from the previous night's)

I fll asleep at around 11 o'clock after indulging in a couple of hours of TV, the CSI marathon on SpikeTV, to be exact. Anyway, I feel asleep in the living room, under my comfy quilt, with my head rested on my pillow and my hand clutching the teddy bear Ayun gave me last spring (that thing is so comfy... *sigh*....). Anyway, I must've dozed off somewhere in the midle of a CSI episode, when suddenly I woke up again... or so I thought. Everything was slightly blurry at the edges, I could recognize things but couln't make them out clearly. I realized, duh!, I don't have my contacts on, so I tried to reach out for my specs, which I usually put beside my pillow, when I heard this noise (cue the creepy Twilight Zone music). I stood up -- dunno why the hell I did that -- and saw two people crouching behind my couch, the one near the door. I tried to scream, but I couldn't, because suddenly my throat we filled with phlegm (ewwwww..... must be because of the sore throat I'm having). I wasn't sure what to do....so...

I pretended to faint instead, trying to buy time. I felt one of the strangers come near me and pin my chest to the ground. My eyes flew open. What the f*** .... all the rape-murder stories I read in Malaysia came rushing back, not to mention a few graphic episode of CSI. I saw the stranger hold a power drill (holy shit!), and was aiming it somewhere near the bottom of my throat. The other person, from the sound of it, was ransacking my bedroom.

My only thought then was "Kalau tak buat pape.... I'm definitely gonna die". Damn bastard was blocking my airway with one arm and holding the drill with the other. Stupidly enough, he left my arms free, probably because he thought I was too paralyzed to do anything. I grabbed the power drill, and pointed it away from my body. We wrestled for a few seconds....

Then I woke up. My first thought was... "I'm alive!". I sat up, checked around my room, and everything looked in order. My chest was pounding so loud and fast that I could hear every single heartbeat. My room is kinda chilly, so I didn't wake up sweaty, but I was out of breath, like someone did block my throat. The scary part for me, aside from the nightmare itself, was feeling that if I didn't find it in me to push the drill away and not freeze completely, I really would've died in my dream.... and I wouldn't have been able to wake up in the real world. Freaky...

Okay, so you cynics out there would probably be thinking "Macam-macam.... is she really serious?". But I've been getting bad dreams and nightmares for days in a row, since the weekend, so it's definitely not a game or a sympathy-bait for me. As a result of this particular nightmare, I woke up, read the Yaasin to calm myself down, and couldn't sleep until now. Dang it, I need my sleep! I can NOT go on like this every night.

I'm not looking forward to today. I have work from 11 to 2, then dance from 3 to 4.30pm, then EECS 497 from 4.30 to 6.30pm, and the there's meetings and assignments to do because my weekend is completely filled (UMIMSA meeting Saturday morning, a might-be meeting afternoon, canoeing on Sunday, sorority chapter afterwards). Good thing I had that pesky Arch 411 assignment outta the way.

Okay, better get started on things before work..... ta peeps!

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum....

I'm so proud, I just read the star online, and apparently Puteri Gunung Ledang received a very, very good response at the Cannes Festival, and it's the only movie screened from Southeast Asia this year. Yeah, baby, Malaysia Boleh! Jom celebrate by sume org minum Milo.... or maybe not (ignore my dweeby ideas). Kutipan PGL: RM 1.6 million dalam masa 6 hari. Wah wah... bagus tuh ( a-cheeeewah!!!). Kutipan terbanyak dalam sejarah filem Malaysia.

So enjoy the song from the PGL soundtrack, called Asmaradana by Tiara Jaquelina. Erm.. malangnye dekat hujung lagu nie, fading die kureng cantik sket, keskeskes. But still... it's a good song, with a smokin' v-clip, so enjoy. Eh, by the way, can someone tell me what the heck does "asmaradana" means? I know what asmara is, so kirenye asmaradana nie romance org zaman Hang Tuah ke? Ermm.. eww... (*muke blank*)

Anyway, today I only have one class (yeah baby!!) , then it's off to doing my ARCH 411 assignment, going to the office to set my work schedule, and maybe Kroger's later... maybe... dunno yet.... maybe. Heheheh.....

I had the worse, absolute worse dream this morning. Had to confront the thing I liked the least (I think I had let it --- malas nak letak jantina sini, figure out for yourself lah--- really have it, and I think some physical violence was involved). But it's okay once I got back to reality. Thank goodness. Too much sleep is not a good thing. Dammit, I hate you when I'm awake, do you have to make me despise you when I'm asleep? Well I guess it's not its fault, after all, dreams are mind games.... but seriously, makin lame makin teruk. I really have to let this grudge go, by far the longest time I've ever really, actually hated somebody, not just upset or geram or merajuk. Hate. Scary feeling, actually.....

"Asmaradana ....asmaradana ... kemuncak cinta.... asmaradana..... asamaradana...."

Hahaha.... hmm... things we do for love... or lack of it...

Wassalam...

Ooooo bloody bloody hell.....

Assalamu'alaikum....

It's 6.09 in the morning, and I can't sleep. Surprse, suprise. Seriously, with the flu, slight fever and never-ending ability to not be able to sleep,this is getting annoying. Not to mention my apartment looking like a wreck. I have to acknowledge the fact that I have too many furniture, not enough elec. outlets, and not enough kitchen space. I really, really, really need to get everything organized before all hell breaks loose and I won't even have time catch a quick blink, let alone some sleep.

Yesterday's sorority chapter was uneventful, to say the least. Apparently Michigan is starting a new fraternity, called the Triangle, for men in engineering and hard-sciences (like astronomy, physics, biology, comp. science etc.), and they would like us to help with recruiting members of all classes, even seniors graduating next semester. So Wolverine men, if you're reading this and you're interested (if you're a senior, all the better, you only have to do this for 2 semesters), just tell me and I'll try to forward your info to my pres. It should be easy to get in, especially if you're a senior, because there's no rush activities to do, plus being part of the founder's should prove beneficial.

My sorority sisters wanted to go play frisbee in the reflection pool after chapter, and because of my flu, all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and bug my mommy.... except she's not here. So they went, and I went home, had dinner and just crashed at 9.30 pm. Hence the early morning I'm having today.

I'm still a lil' miffed that my parents are going to Korea without me, I would have soooo wanted to go. Apparently everything came through at the last minute, they thought they weren't able to go. These are the times I'm glad I'm not at home, because then I wouldn't be constantly reminded I'm not in Korea, sightseeing with the fam.

I'm not looking forward to today's classes at all ....

Wassalam.....

Assalamu'alaikum....

I officially have the weirdest school schedule in the history of my education. My earliest class is at 12.30, and the latest my class ends is at 7 pm. 7 freakin' pm!!! Average time I finish class? 6.30 pm (holy shit!! ). Best day of the week? Thursday, when I only have one class and it goes from 12.30 to 1.30 pm. Why is my schedule so "cantik"? MDE, or Major Design Experience, three EECS courses one has to take as part of the whole torture program. I decided to do it this semester since I couldn't figure out yet what courses I wanna do, and MDE is required, and also because I don't feel like oing out in the middle of the night during my winter semester. Freezing my butt off in a late-evening class in winter is not how I plan to spend my last undergraduate semester.

Last undergraduate semester.... I honestly cannot believe 4 years has already past. I didn't expect to spend 4 years of my life in such an academic and emotional roller-coaster. I was realistic enough to not expect it to go smooth all the time, but to suck a whole bunch of times? I had to work more than I did during my SPM years just so that I can get by with passable results, and even that backfired last semester. This semester I soooo need to redeem myself, or else there is no point of my travelling all this way to go to the US to study when I could have done better at home. Failure, and being average, is not an option. Not this time, when I did so badly last semester. So there you go... studies, work, sorority stuff, and of course, bulan puase (yeay!!!). Sums up my semester....

True to my form, I forgot to pen in last night, and decided to do it this morning. Last night Deera, Alisa, Hanis and I went to the pre-class bash. I think we were jinxed, because as soon as we arrived, it started to pour really bad. Isn't that something. They should put us in the middle of the desert, we'd turn it into a "hutan khatulistiwa" in no time. Keskeskes...... worst thing about it was riding on the bus. Oh... my.... God... (*gag*). Bottom line: susah jadi species2 orang yg same aras dengan ketiak org lain, phuuuh. 'Nuff said.

It's almost 10 o'clock in the morning, my class starts at 12.30, maybe it's a good idea for me to take a bath and relax first before jumping into the whole first-day-of-class thing. Plus, I have a sorority chapter tonight, with the very ominous message of "wear clothes that you don't really care about, or your swimsuit ith shorts". Aaaa? Am I gonna get wet? Pelted with water-filled balloons? Paint that stupid rock again? Mud-wrestling?(start sarcarsm) People at the Media Union would looooove that. (end sarcasm)

I bought the Michigan Planner on Sunday. They have stickers at the back to put in to remind yourself of stuff. There are 27 Test stickers, 27 Project due stickers, 18 work out stickers..... and only 9 Party stickers. Ominous ominous .....

To my darling friends back in the land of Anwar-free Malaysia, "sa rang jae" (I love you in Korean)

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum....

Currently taking a break from "meleperkan" boxes and decided to pen in some stuff before I forgot about them. Okay, to those of you who has watched Puteri Gunung Ledang and know who Dave Chappelle is, did you notice that Tun Mamat looks exactly like Dave Chappelle? The resemblance is uncanny, I was so surprised. It was eerie watching Dave Chappelle be serious and talk in Malay, I kept wanting to giggle in the theatre that it totally threw me off the movie track a couple of times.

I was also looking at an old magazine, and there was a picture of teeny-bopper singer Jojo. At first glance, I thought it was a picture of Lindsay Lohan, except Lindsay had more freckles and the picture was waaaaaayyy too serious looking for a Lindsay pic. Seriously, Jojo looked like Lindsay in that photo, and then like Vanessa Carlton in another.

When will the celebrity resemblance end? (tapi, Tun Mamat yg rupe cam Dave Chappelle tuh jugak yg tak tahan)

Special congrats to Elle for appearing in the Dara.com magazine memperagakan care2 memakai tudung dgn ayunye. And spcial gelak to Bahijah adik Hakim for kantoi masuk v-clip Ada Apa Dengan Gedik, heheheh. Kidding sweetie, you looked fabulous, kalau betul the girl I thought was you really is you (ape jadah ntah grammar, bantai sajaaa ). And to my cuzzy, did they put u in Tatler yet?If they did, I want a copy of it.

Sekarang tgh tgk MTV VMA 2004 and Tony Hawk is skate-boarding on stage while a very frightened Ashlee Simpson looked over. Think she's afraid that she's gonna smushed by an out-of-control Tony, though that didn't happen. And Marilyn Monson presented an award with Mandy Moore.... they might have the same initials, but I think that's about the only thing they have in common. Christina Aguilera seems to have a Marilyn Monroe complex, and Beyonce's outfit looked.... weird. The hot pants are cute, the top.... not so cute.

Okay, my break is up. Can you imagine I wrote all of this in 10 minutes? Be assured, for the lack of anything better to do, I'd write again before going to sleep tonight.

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum....

Yeah, so I decided to sleep last night rather than unpacking some more stuff. Hehehe... too pening to really be able to unpack effectively. bedroom unlivable, so slept in the living room instead. Woke up to the advertisement of The Firm. Aiyok... nothing more depressing in the mornings than to wake up to a health advertisement after admonishing yourself the day before about all the pretty clothes that you can't fit into. Well, actually there is something more depressing, but hey, that particular depressing lasts all day and night, so that doesn't count.

It is damn 6.34 am, and I'm already up. The sun is already up too. Hullo Mr. Sun..... maybe today I'll see you more than just a couple of hours. All I want to do is to crawl myself back to bed and sleep till tomorrow comes. But then again, I have to go to school tomorrow. Yuck. Reminds of that piece of song.... "Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow, it's only a day away"...... except in my case, replace the word love with hate , and the singer has an expression about as happy as a dead chicken.

Ever since the whole picture fiasco (tu lah, carik pasal sendiri, she's only doing what comes natural to everyone, so I'm not mad, just that my face constantly burns with humiliation when I remember everything), my stomach feels like it's been punched repeatedly, and it was hard to eat anything yesterday. Or maybe that's more due to the fact I was sick rather than heart-sick. Can't wait till I can pray again, I seriously need some extra guidance right now.

My mom and dad are going to Korea on the 15th, and my sis-in-law, brother and nephew are going to Bali on the same day. I am sooo jealous. Seriously. My mom should be in heaven when she gets there, she loves those Korean series (which are pretty good, Korean heroes are kinda hot). My darlng niece is gonna be in Johor with her other set of grandparents.Tinggal lah my 2nd bro sengsorang kat rumah. If it wasn't for the fact that my house is totally not in party shape, I would expect him to throw a big bash the moment my parents get outta the house. Thank you abang for the lovely laptop bags that you bought for me, love them.

Today, I at least need to get my bedroom in walking in condition. Last night Nik, Hakam, Rock and Sharence came by, and I hate the fact that I couldn't act like a proper hostess because my pinggan mangkuk gelas is MIA. And there was n't a lotta place to sit becase my furniture is everywhere. It's just ridiculous. One of my best friends back home said I would make an excellent politician's wife because I'm obsessed with my guests whenever I have people over (unless the "people" have been in my house numerous times and know where everything is). It's always "Makan lah lagi" or "nak air?" or "semue bende cukup tak?". Keskeskes..... politician's wife.... please. Truth is, nowadays my needs revolves around the people I love and the people I'm with. Kinda a weird confession coming from a girl who's constantly trying to do her own thing and live in ignorance so that if other dissapprove, then I don't have to deal with it. So it doesn't matter if I marry a politician, or a rebel, or a Harley-Davidson buff, or a lecturer, or a golfer, a geek, a party animal..... who he is is moot point. Finding him is the interesting part... or the hard and annoying part, depending on your views.

I'm 22, and it's kinda a downer realizing that the earliest I can think about settling down would be in my late 20s, going on to 30s. There's just so much I have to do, so much that I need to accomplish before I can concentrate on having my own family, my own little girl and little boy. Put that with my own guy-related paranoia, it is not a great subject for me. The question "How's your love life?" always gives me the Fake-Smile Cardiac , where I would feel bile coming up my throat and I would paste a fake smile on my face and say some stupid random thing. Just because I'm not ready, doesn't mean that I don't privately wish that I'm settled in that department, safely engaged or married. Couples' promises mean nothing to me, I've seen a couple's relationship, which lasted a decade, just dissolve in front of my eyes in a period of a few weeks. I've seen (and had) promises broken and tears flow and dreams shattered. Dating, at the least, brings companionship for a few hours, and at the end of the day it's still just you. Even that is better than not having time to date instead. Oh well....

Yeah, those are some reaaaaaallllly depressing thought, this early in the morning. I seriously need a new hobby, or at least have time to go to the gym and forget about stuff. That might be good. I'll do that.... right after my room gets cleaned up. Oh crap.

Just another morning in Ann Arbor, wishing that I can just click my heels and be transported back to my family.....

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum...

I am just so, so tired right now. After half a day of vacuuming and mopping the living room and putting the carpet on and basically ignoring my flu, I came down with a fever. Isn't that just peachy. Since my bedroom is currently unlivable, I dragged my pillow and quilt out to my carpeted living room and just slept there until about 10 pm. After that I got up, had 2 pieces of roti with "kaya" and watched some TV. Actually, watched a lotta TV. Of course, the channels took some getting used to, the line-up is somewhat different.

I guess I should try and get some more unpacking done, or at least some sleep for the night... I'll try and penn-in some more stuff tomorow to make up for lost time.

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum...

It's damn 3 o'clock in the morning and I still can't sleep, probably due to the fact that I just did a very stupid thing. I was browsing through my Friendster and came upon some pictures, at somebody else's account (I haven't figured out camane nak block user gune Friendster), that made me feel like a big boulder just landed on my chest. It was as if I had a thousand knives and a thousand arrows simultaneously piercing through my heart and shredding it to pieces. Strange, how you would think you are past all of those things and yet even the dumbest things can trigger what I call the "Post-relation Cardiac". Like Bantut said, nak lupe, tapi kalau lupe, macam kering jadinye, so tak lupe (or something like that lah). My mom would be so mad if she finds out about this. Oh well....

I had a pretty boring day, saw Dennis, bought textbooks, dinner with Nik, slept. All the routine stuff. My room still looks like I'm housing refugee boxes, and my sleep cycle is still pretty much screwed up. On a brighter note, I recived my 100-dollar rebate from Sony today, and some nice "how-are-you-doing" messages from my friends and kinda-friends-but-I'm-not-sure. And my inboxes are, again, flooded with party invites, curtesy of my active sorority status. Strangely enough, the party lobe of my brain went into hibernation these past few days. I missed tonight's Dance Trilogy, though not intentionally, SOMEONE manage to do a wee bit of a mix up so there I was, all dressed up and no-where to go. Jen did say that will happen at least once in your life, so I guess my time was due. I changed back into my comfy PJs, tried to take care of my sore throat (ouchie... it hurts so bad), and tried to figure out what to do with my non-existent class schedule.... and school starts in 2 days. Isn't that a pickle.

On a not so bright note again... I think I'm coming down with the flu. Hopefully it'll go away by the timw school starts. My headache is going on overtime right now, so maybe I should stop tapping on my keyboard and go to sleep. But before I do, here's the lyrics to a song that I totally adore, it's so cool. It's by Sarah McLachlan, one of my favorites, sebab suare die ade quality berhantu sket, hahaha.... Lyrics has a weeeeeee bit story of my life in it, 'cause one does feel like one made a mistake that one can't redeem in the eyes of others, and that is truly, just messed up....

Fallen by Sarah McLachlan

Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
THe past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

I've fallen...I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
[2X]

Assalamu'alaikum...
Hehehe... dah sampai Michigan dah. Setelah sekian lame tak update blogger, akhirnye kene jugak update sebab dah kene marah and siap dapat threats macam "Cepat lah update, kalau tak aku pancitkan tayar kete ko"... which would make sense kalau ade penah ujud my own kerete. Cube buat research dulu kalau nak buat statement2 bernas camtuh....

Ade byk bende nak cite... byk sgt sampai tatau nak start kat mane. So marilah kite start je kat random events yg meaningful sikit... setakat shopping trips tuh sume dah tau how those go. I go shopping,blow loads of money, balik umah kene marah, then besok do it all over again. Though one shopping trip was special because I got to see Yanie and Wana!!! Halluuuuu Yanie and Wana!!!! Hahaha... love my ex-roomies. We went to Mid Valley, makan kat Chilli's, shopping-shopping for stuff, kacau2 my cousin (well that's only me, but still... diorang ade kat situ). Tukar2 cerite about our life. *Sigh*... I do miss my PPP days...

And then there's Fairuz's bro's wedding, the only wedding I did manage to go to sepanjang ade kat rumah (I missed Irfan's, Hasdi's, Syikin's, a couple more others... oopsy). Actually, pegi wedding tuh pun sebab nak gather budak2 sekolah rendah and hopefully plan a proper gathering. Hakim, whom I haven't seen for 4 years, picked me up, and then we picked up Harith and Andri at SKSHAS, our ol' sekolah rendah. Sampai kat rumah pengantin, met up with the rest of my x-shoolies who could make it. There's Fairuz (of course), Hakim ngan dik die, Sareque (with new toyboy in tow... hahaha.. jk Reque), Zalina and Friend, Amilin and gf, Bina and bf, Harith, Andri, Inda, Roza and, surpisingly, Toh Puan Hjh. Fatihah, our old cikgu kelas mase darjah 6. Hahahaha, okay....

Next up.... BBQ at my house, a.k.a gathering of my friends, tak kisah lah sekolah rendah ke, menengah, matriks, or from Michigan . Gatal tak mau catering, buat sendiri, last2 separuh mati jalan kehulu kehilir nak layan org. Nasib baik I'm fond o these sort of things, so penat pun tak kisah, puas ati tgk sume org enjoying themselves. Unfortunately, I didn't manage to invite everybody due to the fact yg Jumaat malam decide nak buat BBQ, spnt Sabtu gie wedding and inviting people, an Ahad was the BBQ day. Hectic hectic....

I miss my house. I miss my parents. I miss my siblings and sister in law. I miss my darling niec and naughty nephew. I miss my cousin calling me up out of nowhere, either for a chat or to take me out for a drive. I miss shopping at One Utama and Mid Valley and 'kutuk'-ing Sunway Pyramid. I miss swimming at my Shah Alam condo. I miss the late-night drives through KL. I miss the LRT and the dozens of public tranports readily available to poor people like me who don't have their own cars. I miss not having to actually walk anywhere because I can pick up the phone and say "Pick me up boleh?". I miss my cell phone. I miss my niece, miss my niece, miss my niece.....

I've only been back in Ann Arbor for 3 days and already I can't stop thinking of home.

Wassalam....

Assalamu'alaikum....

Finally! Setelah seminggu lebih tak bleh nak login internet, I finally got through! Hurrah! Bodo punye Streamyx, kate laju, alih-alih nak login pun susah. Ikut kate Kak Yann, ade trick nye lah pulak nak login, something pasal switching on and off some thingamajig ntah hape hape. Oh well.

Anyways, this week wasn't all that exciting. My niece masuk ER kejap because of lung problems (not ER the series yer, this is the actual ward ), poor little thing, nasib baik lah nothing major, alhamdulillah. Still, lepas nie kene careful jugak nak kasi die makan ubat and stuff.

There was this one time I went to Hann's house for a few hours of karaoke, because someone managed to get himself grounded by losing a RM3K cell phone. And to that person, "breastto" is so not a good comeback when someone calls you "nutso". Anyway, I found out that my ickle cousin has a pretty good voice, probably enhanced by all the karaoke-ing that he must have been doing. As for myself, I found out that I couldn't hit the high notes as well as I did in high-school, probably due to all the not singing and no practice for the past 3 years, and I've completely forgotten all the breathing techniques that I used to pick up from various people. You might find this surprising, but the our choir club in STF didn't exactly learn how to breathe properly while singing, we just sang, sape ade talent nak hit the high notes, dapatlah jadi soprano, sape tak, takdelah. Weird... Anyway, back to karaoke, lepas penat nyanyi2, we watched Honey, the movie with Jessica Alba in it. Love that movie, the dance moves are totally phat (cheewah! look at me, I'm trying the "blak" people's lingo! I'm such a nerd). I think I'm gonna buy that DVD when I get back to Ann Arbor.

Talk about going back to AA, I can't believe sekarang nie I have less than 2 weeks left. Gile babi kejap, waaaa tak puas duduk umah. I should have balik rumah awal sikit mase tuh, like last year I had the whole 2 months kat Mesia. This year sebulan, rase tak puas. Nanti sure miss Aishah gile2 punye, mane tak, duduk rumah tak keluar semate2 nak main ngan die, nak tunggu die balik nursery, siap tolong kasik kan ubat, pujuk time die nangis, tolong mandi pakai baju sume.... lampin je tak salin kan sebab busuk. Lain sume.... kire tolong lah jugak. As for Ajiq.... hari-hari nak kene marah die, suruh kluar from my room sebab die suke masuk and sepahkan vanity and kacau my art projects. Dah lah sekarang pintu tak boleh tutup..... apsal takleh tutup? Nie lah pasal....

Pn the day nak pegi Cherating tuh, I was doing some last menet packing, baru lepas amek toothbrush from bathroom, so cam biase, tutup pintu bilik so that privacy sket, nak tukau baju sume. Tetibe dengar this weird click from the door, macam ade bende broke loose. Continued packing, then ingat nak turun bawah breakfast sekejap, pulas punye pulas tombol pintu, die tanak bukak. Then I started banging on the door, mintak someone bukak from luar. Abang Rizal try bukak..... pun tak bleh. By then I realize yang damn! I'm stuck inside my room on the day I'm supposed to be on vacation. How ironic is that. Paling best.... me and my kakak ipar and my mom try sedaye upaye nak bukak pintu but to no avail, while the men in my family were nowhere to be found, maybe diorang lepak lepas panggil locksmith. My opinion of men, which is already kinda low these days, went down a couple more notches. My brother gave me a screwdriver to do something with tombol pintu tuh, so kite pun pomen2 lah. My mom, bless her heart, gave me this pisau kecik yang dapat as a free gift kalau beli Nutella. Pisau tuh nak sapu jem atas roti pun boleh bengkok, let alone nak jolok2 pintu. Last-last I got pissed at the whole situation, started using the screwdriver nak chip on the door frame kasi berlubang dekat lock. After 10 minutes camtuh, dah nampak the strip of metal yang lindung tempa lubang door lock tuh, so I jammed the screwdriver in and asked my sister-in-law (perempuan jugak yang kene buat) to push the door in. Nasib baik boleh bukak, and I made it to Cherating safe and sound.

Sampai kat Cherating, first thing buat...... gie mandi kat pool. Woo hoo!!! Pegi ngan Kak Yann and Ajiq, mak ngan bapak duduk kat bilik dengan Aishah. Dah dasar pegi ngan Ajiq, alamat byk ler songeh die, last-last kitorang geram. Besok pagi-pagi bute me and Kak Yann blah awal-awal nak lepak kat pool, kitorang je, no kids. Hahaha.... kitorang yang lagi sakan mandi-mandi sume, yang kanak-kanak nye kene tinggal. Lepas balik pool, breakfast kejap, then jalan-jalan kat Kemaman, beli keropok lekor and stuff. Balik Kemaman, gie mandi pantai.... tapi this time bawak Aishah. Tak bawak Ajiq sebab die takut, Ajig gie main pool dengan bapak. Aishah, yg baru 4 bulan tuh, abang pesan suruh bawak mandi laut, mane tau boleh baik sikit die punye eczema, sebab dgt air laut is good for the skin. Sebab menjalankan amanah (plus saje-saje), bawak jugak lah si kecik tuh mandi laut. Comel je die pakai sluar pendek Ajiq. Mase mandi kat laut tuh, ramai jugak lah org pandang sebab bawak budak cinonet camtuh masuk laut, tapi buat dek je lah. Ade family Korea nie siap dtg borak2 lagi. Anyway, Aishah baik,tak nangis langsung mase kat laut, tak tau lah sebab tak takut ke, tak kisah or tak paham. Lepas mandi laut, bawak die main kat pool. Hahaha.... 4 bulan dah mandi mandi sume dah. Gambar-gambar akan diupdate nanti2...

Okkeh, sambung cerite pasnie.... skang nak kene siap2 gie Mid Valley. Challo!

Wassalam...

Assalamu'alaikum....

Waaaahhh.... lamenye tak update (sori ler hari nie kurang ade mood nak tulis everything in English, kalau kene marah ngan Jen pun nasiblah). Anyways, kite yang kat umah nie baru baik demam yang telah berlangsung selame due hari. For two days, nak bangun katil pun cam torture, tambah dengan sakit perut yang memulas and suhu badang yang tak leh nak decide kalau die nak sejuk ke panas. Kejap pasang air-cond, kejap tutup air-cond, nak kesian dengan air-cond tuh, baik kesian diri senirik sebab due malam tak leh nak tido, merane sorang2 sebab tanak jumpe doctor. Tang sakit perut tu lah tak tahan sebab nak gie bathroom tak leh, lan jenis sakit nye, nak baring sakit, nak duduk pun sakit. Last-last berdiri jalan keliling umah tgh malam, gie terkejutkan abang yang ingat kan penyangak mane ntah masuk umah, nasib baik tak kene silat. Nasib baik jugak treadmill dah tak ujud dalam umah (ye ke nasib baik?) kalau tak ade jugak gune treadmill kol 3 pagi sebab takleh nak tido. Hantu betul.

Cakap pasal hantu, ingatkan hari tuh nak tgk Pontianak Harum bla bla yang telah di"peroleh" kawan (camane die dapat jgn tanye ha...) . Hehehe.... fat chance (ooo... fat joke). Nak tgk iklan hantu yg Nik download pun tak berani, tgk trailer Pontianak pun dah nak kencing katil dah, lagi nak tgk movie... kat Mesia.... tgh2 malam..... ye lah tuh. Nak bawak balik US, kalau tgk kat my place, nanti takleh tido dalam apartment sebab takut. Nak tgk kat tmpt org lain, nanti takut nak jln balik apartment. Nak tgk kat Mesia... awal2 dah tolak that possibility. Kesimpulan... jgn tgk. Since I can't handle the heat, I'm staying waaaaaay outta the kitchen.

Balik umah this year, kurang jln compared to last year, maybe sebab dah ade baby kat umah, so lagi seronok just duduk umah and mengadap baby je. Part paling best is I was there mase die first time meniarap. Seronok sgt, sebab dah berhari-hari tgk muke die kerut-kerut try nak meniarap. Sekarang dah expert, bukan takat meniarap, siap boleh tergolek luar tikar. So funny. Paling suke tgk die gelak. She has the sweetest, most adorable grin ever, sampaikan tak terpikir nak amek camera ke ape ke nak record the moment because you're just so enthralled with that toothless grin. Man, I'm turning too mushy for my own good.

Besok nak pegi Cherating with the fam, so nak kene tido awal and try to punahkan this big headache I'm having. Hopefully I'll have fun without the sickness and without throwing up. Toodles!

Wassalam...

Assalamu'alaikum....

   Haven't been updating lately, heheh.. sorry about that. To tell you the truth, I don't really even know where to start, but I'm assuming I kinda stopped writing after Friday. A few stuff has happened since then, even though I barely went out, but lemme see....

    On Saturday, Hann called me up, and we had dinner at Pizza Uno. It was the first time I actually went out of the vicinity of my house since I got back from Michigan. Dinner was kinda nice, though the topping on the pizza was kinda unusual.... mussels and eggplant. But I was loving this cheesy spinach-and-chicken dish that we had and I for the life of me cannot remember what it's called (cuz, if you're reading this, mind writing in the chat box the name of it? Oh wait... you don't do chatbox.... but if you're feeling humorous, please do  heheh :) ). As a result, I missed my first Akademi Fantasia concert on TV ..... which I didn't  feel too bad, surprisingly enough.

    Sunday was ho-hum, I stayed home with my little darling my little terror (my niece Aishah and my nephew Haziq, respectively). My sis-in-law, bro and parents were taking the day kinda easy, so I watched the lil' tykes for the day. Oh, almost forgot, something did happen in the morning.....

    Remember the last entry I wrote about my dad trying to force me to go jogging in the park? Well, after my Subuh prayers, I made the mistake of going into my mom's room to ask for for some cotton pads, and there she was, all geared up fer her exercise in the park. After much coercing on my mom's part, a few guil trips and several objections later, I found myself driving me and my mom to ... you guessed it ... the park. Except instead of jogging, my mom pulled me to the aerobic area where this guy was yelling into a microphone while flailing about on the podium, and all these hapless people try to follow suit. I was about to die from the embarrassment of it all, until I got into the  "groove" if you can call it that, and realize nobody's laughing or pointing at me, everybody's too busy trying to listen to Mr. Flailing Limbs. Now, I have been doing aerobics for 4 years with different types of teachers, so following what he was doing wasn't the problem, except that I couldn't see him that well and the people in front of me were NOT doing what he was. It was a bit of a pickle, really, I don't want to sound mean but seriously, if you're just gonna stand there and then do something completely different, move outta the way man. I ended up doing the laughing.... at my mom. I would glance over and just laugh my head off because there we were, mother-daughter doing the whole bonding thing by aerobic-ing at the park, trying to follow an instructor who wasn't even following the beat of the music! It was kinda hilarious, actually, you gotta be there to get it.

    Anyway, Monday was the day I was supposed to get my luggage from Nik and pick him up from KLIA. My cousin Hann came and picked me up, and we drove there in record time because as always, he drives like he owns the road and everything on it. We waited until 1 pm, when Nik finally came out of the arrival gate. By then, Hann and I were reduced to eating some pretty bland buffalo-wings sandwiches from Delifrance,  which I only ate half and even Nik didn't want the other half, which actually says something ( ...... ) heheh. Anyway, we sent Nik to UPM, and got lost once we were inside the campus, and before that, confused UPM with UKM, which is in Bangi. Luckily everything turned out okay. Nik got to see his sis and a certain miss (hehehehe... wink wink) , I got my bag and a barrel of laughs to last the day, and my cousin still managed to be on time to  "teman" someone to a photoshoot thingy. Happily ever after, I must say.

   Tuesday, doctor's appointment for me and Aishah. I'm not liking the medicine she's prescribing me but hey, we'll give Accutane a try anyway......

   Wednesday, found out that my dad isn't going to Raub today and instead is going tomorrow. I, who had made plans with Yanie to go shopping at Mid Valley, now have to postpone said shopping trip to Friday. And that's about it. Hehehe

  I'm sleepy and cranky, so I better pen off now and get some sleep.... zzzzz....

Wassalam.....

Assalamu'alaikum....

   Pagi tadi pagi2 lagi dah ade argument dgn bapak (due2 stubborn, kite jenis yg tak suke kene arah tak tentu pasal, bapak pulak suke mengarah tak tentu pasal) pasal, all of things, jogging. Apparently sebab dah makin tembam compare dgn last summer, bapak bising2 nak suruh org jogging. Suruh tau, bukan suggest. Needless to say, my answer was a resounding "tak nak". Aiseh, kite kat Michigan pun stok yg tak suke jogging, suke pegi gym buat Steps tak pun gune elliptical machine ke, weights ke.... paling tak kenan jogging, tak kisah lah jogging tuh di kire care paling cepat nak lose weight, kalau tgh betul2 bosan or nak warm-up je baru jogging. As it is, dah lah sendiri stok yg tak suke exercise depan family, sebab kene komen je memanjang, so bile kene suruh2 camtuh, siap cakap kene ikut jugak besok, I gave a big "tak nak. Mak, tgk lah bapak! Ade ke..", packed up buku cerite yg tgh pegang, cakap nak bace buku dalam bilik, and fled, tinggalkan mak nak settlekan dengan bapak. I hate it when he does that to me, layan org macam still budak kecik, mane org tak lari jauh2 pegi Johor, then pegi US. Lepas nie nak lari gie mane pun tak tau dah. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad, tapi die punye infuriating tuh Allah je lah yg tau kite rase macam mane.

   Anyway, mak bile dah sampai ofis, try nak pujuk. Cakap lah "kene faham lah, itu ini gitu gini..." (okay, tuh bukan exact words die, tapi exact words die org malas nak tulis). Tgh2 nak pujuk tu, sempat jugak nak advocate ikut die dengan bapak pegi padang besok, die kate kengakdang tuh, it feels good nak ikut kate orang . 'Why don't you try, once, and find out how you feel". Tuh mak cakap. Kite dalam tak nak-tak nak tuh, kene lah pikir jugak kan, ekceli still tak nak, tapi dah cakap dengan mak, "tgk lah dulu", sebab segan lerr nak lompat2 depan org. Ayat mak lepas tu lah best,

mak : di taman memang ade ramai orang, tapi masing-masing dgn aksinya tersendiri.  Mereka memang tak ambil peduli apa orang lain buat.  Mereka dah pandang pun kat kite
mak : mereka tak nampak pun kite

Keskeskes.... nasib baik mak aku kiut, so bende2 yg die cakap takdelah rase weird sgt, tapi still kelakar lah jugak. Siap suruh nyorok belakang pokok...

mak : kalau farah segan, farah boleh nyorok belakang pokok
mak : tapi kalau belakang pokok, mana nak nampak cikgu aerobic tu?

Keskeskes..... kelakar lah mak, tapi sebab die macam tu lah sume orang sayang, sweet baik je mak, alih2 dapat anak pompuan macam mala'un. Kak Yann pulak kate, kesian mak, dapat menantu tak gune. Hahahahaha.... sgt2 tak betul, Kak Yann best, bleh buat kawan, the best thing my brother ever did was to have the sense nak pursue Kak Yann. Sonok aku.

    Nasib baik ade mak, Kak Yann dengan babies kat rumah, bearable sikit, kalau tidak ade jugak stok nak bunuh diri sebab tension. Ye lah, expectations diri sendiri dah tinggi dah, alih2 kene pressure as though I never tried and tau main2 je, 3 guesses what that would do to one's self esteem. Oh well.... "home sweet home" (?).

Wassalam.....

 

Assalamu'alaikum....

   Posting hari nie nak dedicate dekat mak, sebab saje jek. Dah tak jumpe mak setahun, alih-alih balik nie mak dah cyber lah pulak. Dulu nak ajar gune MSN Messenger pun susah, sekarang nie mak dah ade akaun Yahoo sendiri, siap install YM kat computer office die. Dah lah tuh, siap pandai masuk chat room and chat dengan random orang. Pulak dah. Power mak aku, dah jadi nenek orang pun sanggup nak mereti-reti kan diri untuk berchatting. I guess mak org lain pun, ramai je reti chatting dengan anak sendiri sume, tapi takde lah nak cube-cube masuk chat room kan, hahah. Kelakar lah jugak dengar mak distressed bile tetibe byk gile window pop-up dengan orang nak cakap hi sume, hahahahah. Sure ramai tak sangke diorang tgh chat dengan a 55-year-old granny yang ade anak umur 33 tahun and dah ade 2 cucu.

   Here's an excerpt of ape yg chat dengan mak hari nie (chat one whole day sebab online one whole day, buat macam kat Michigan lah pulak)...

babygirl959: mak, tak payah lah masak ketam malam nie, hehe
babygirl959: masak ketam besok lahhhh, malam nie Farah kenyang
mak : tak kan tak makan langsung
babygirl959: hehe... malas lah, sekarang pun perut kenyang lagi
babygirl959: kenyang sgt2
mak : oklah mak masak sup kaki ayam untuk bapak je
babygirl959: kak yann dengan abang?
mak : mak nak balik ni, bye, see u, macam Hajiq lak
babygirl959: hahahaha
babygirl959: okaymak : mak goreng ayam je untuk mereka
babygirl959: okay

   I love my mommy.....

Wassalam...

Assalamu'alaikum....
      Inilah... bosan due hari duduk kat umah. Hari nie dah hari Rabu dah, baru dapat a few phone calls aje lah from a couple of my friends and a veryyyyyy threatening message from my cuzzy (aiyok!). Entry hari ini akan ditulis dalam Bahase Melayu (mostly) sebab dah tak duduk keliling omputih, so otak dah kene Melayu balik dah.

   Mak still dalam usehe nak carik banglo, rasenye sebab nak soh bang Rizal jual rumah yg diorang tgh renovate tuh so that die ngan Kak Yann stay satu bumbung dengan Mak dengan Bapak. Iyelah kan, diorang pun bosan, duit tgh ade, rumah dah mmg sah2 dah kecik, might as well pindah. Dah lah selame2 wujud diri kat dunie nie, rumah nie je yg penah kenal, aku/I/saye belum penah lagi lah duduk tempat lain. Excited jugak bile pikir pasal pindah2 nie, kalau kate kanlah end up as andartu and kene duduk ngan mak bapak pun, takdelah teruk sgt nak terjerumus dalam kancah kesedehan nye.

   Jet lag tak habes2 lagik. Semalam lepas kol 1.30 pagi je, tak bleh nak tido. Ntah hape hape ntah buat, main internet, pomen2 laptop, chatting ngan Bantut kecayangan (Hepi 22nd Bedey Toot-tey!! Kueskues....) and kene marah sebab tak wish bedey die. Hantu betul, belum kol 6 pagi lah dah kene sebijik, hahaha. Anyway, lepas subuh tuh, online lagik, pastu buat cubaan2 nak chatting gune webcam ngan mic dengan Nik, tuh pun pasal nak tunjuk anak sedare punye pasal. Hahaha... Nik kate webcam org gambar jam stroboskop, slalu sekat2. Sabor je lah... Ajiq jugak yang best, tgh nik bising tuh, die datang kat microfon, letak jari kat bibir pastu cakap  "Shhhhh..." . Pndai anak sedare aku nie yer... Aishah hari nie baik, tak bising sgt nangis2 sume. Nie die takde kat rumah, ala-ala bosan... is sgt sunyi, is sgt bosan.

    Kite budak pandai, tak amek nomor henpon sume org before balik, pulak tuh dah skang dah mati akal tatau nak contact orang camane, hahah. Adoilah. Mak dah buat plan2 nak gie Cherating on the 5th and 6th, so kalau nak kluar, kene kluar before that sebab haram dah tadek baju. Oh well...

   Nie dekat rumah tgh online lame tak ingat dunie... mentang2 Streamyx, still..... hehehe... Tgh carik Akademi Fantasia ngan Malaysian Idol punye info, if we're lucky, me and Kak Yann maybe dapat tgk final AF, paling2 tak pun salah satu konsert die lah. Waaaahhh tak sabar nye.... mau mau, hahaha... even though sorang kontestan pun tak kenal. Oh well....

   Okaylah, nak kene carik something to do, kalau tak mati akal kat sini, maybe try calling some of my darlings (macam ade plenty jek).

Wassalam

Assalamu’alaikum… 
  
            Right, so here I am back home again…. Home, home, home on the range. Whoopeee!!! (Do not mistake my “Whoopeeee!!!” for my “Big whoop.”, the latter one is me being sarcastic. So anyway, I arrived on Sunday, along with Deera, after a pretty eventful journey.
 
            It started out the night before I was supposed to go home. I had just finished packing not only my going-home suitcases but the rest of my possessions into boxes provided by Corrigan Movers, because those bastards over at housing decided to make my dorm a freshmen only dorm, and kicked out us poor helpless upperclassmen into the Northwood family housing. Granted, it is nice, I get to have my own kitchen and private bathroom, and a living room with a sofa bed, but it also means giving up a few stuff, like a laundry room, for one, and fluorescent lights, since they only provide us with those icky yellow ones that contribute to my deteriorating eyesight, and of course, resident computing. No more printing in the middle of the night for me. Lousy bastards. Good thing they provided movers for my stuff, so I only had to pack, some other poor fools had to move ‘em. The absolute nerve of those housing people….. I can gripe on and on about them, but let’s just move on to more fun stuff.
 
            So after moving my stuff out the next morning, I bought some souvenirs for my parents and my friends from Steve and Barry’s, went back to my place, prayed, then got a phone call from the cab that was picking me and Deera up. Needless to say, a lil’ bit of hell broke lose as I had to leave my forwarding address and the cabbie was bickering for us to ‘be quick”. Needless to say, a bit of confusion had set in, and I left a hand luggage back in Michigan. Holy shit. It was not my lucky day.
 
            Fortunately enough, the rest of the trip went on okay. Deera and I were both “mamai” from our respective lack of sleep. There was this one time we rode a train back and forth because neither of us heard what the announcement was saying. But the mishaps ended there (I think). We met up with Hussen (from Texas) and a hairstylist named May, who was visiting her niece and nephew in Yale and Caltech, respectively.
 
            My family came to pick me up from the airport, and I got to see my niece for the first time ever. She’s so tiny and cute. Unfortunately she suffers from eczema, so she’s red all over, poor baby. Tiny little red thing. I only know one other person who suffered from that, bitch tried using her “condition” to get out of everything (can you sense the anger in the air, hahah ). But Aishah, my niece, is such a good little baby, she hardly cries, and she has the sweetest smile .  I adore her like hell.
 
            So here I am, back home again. Big piece of news: apparently my nagging my mom to get a new place really sunk in because she’s been looking for a new place for a few months now, and she’s thinking to sell our house. Yippee!!! She was eyeing this bungalow nearby, but before she could make a bid, a contractor bought it. Darn. Oh well, good things come to people who wait, my mom is VERY good…. How the heck she got me as her daughter, I have noooo idea…..

Toodle doo, peeps! Wassalam…

Assalamu'alaikum...

My last day of work. Oh boy... kinda sad. I've loved working here. I mean, where else can I find a boss who would bring her to Michael's (the store) to shop for scrapbook supplies? Where can I find a job that let's me come in wearing glasses, t-shirt and sweatpants... and still work in an office? *Sigh*.... I'm gonna miss this... even though next semester I'm coming back to the exact same office but working in a different position with the exact same pay. The hours will be shorter, of course, since I'll have classes and other stuff.

Weird. One minute I'm excited to go home, the next I'm totally dreading the lack of privacy that I know is going to plague me as soon as I step foot on Malaysian soil. Hopefully I won't be an asshole when I reach home, there's nothing worse for me to be a jerk around the people I love just because I can't stand people barging into my private quarters at every hour during the day.

Jen is refrshing my memory on how to parallel park today, right after work. After that, have a dinner invitation from Unmesh (whom I haven't seen for such a long time and I feel guilty for that) and a movie invite from Dennis (to join him, Al and another person). Knowing me, I might decide that I'm too tired to do anything, go home and watch The Sopranos on DVD.

I am officially hooked on The Sopranos. I finish off a season a day, watch the special features and I can't wait to see the next episode. Too much T and A for my liking, but they do run a strip club, so I can't really object to that. What I can object is the amount of f***ing the characters do, most of the time it doesn't even contribute anything to the story. Good thing the storyline's good, or I might have just decided to not watch after the first DVD.

I'm a little sleepy right now after lunch and stuff. Thank goodness I only have a couple more hours to go, then I'm done for the summer. Time sure flies, I'm 22 now, pretty soon I'll be 25.

My biggest fear: to chase all the material stuff in my life (a Master's in CS or financial engineering-- as soon as I decide which I can actually be happy doing--, working in the US, coming back home and securing my place at home so that I can take care of my mom and dad) and one day, wake up, realize I'm 45, and think "Shit, I forgot to get married and have a baby".

Imagine that.

Assalamu'alaikum...

Just realized that the photo below was a lil' too big, so I cropped it. As was mentioned before, click on the photo to see some other sushified cartoo characters. I myself just had lunch that consisted of a tray of deluxe california rolls from the Sushi Fresh! collection (at least I think that's what the company is called..)

I am so screwed right now, because Katharine left me some work that I am now at lost on how to do. Shit. I'm supposed to be organizing the table arrangement for this fall's North Campus Festival. So I categorized the organizations (piece o' cake), decided who gets to perform what... and now I have no idea where to put them. I mean, I know which spaces are available, but some of the participants need to be near a power source, and some needs water supply nearby, and some just need a big friggin' space for their supplies of crap-shit. And I, being that this is my first time ever doing this stuff, am waiting for Katharine to come back from her lunch with Susan, or Shelley, or whoever she's having lunch with. I think I just killed a couple of acres of trees looking at the amount of stuff that I printed out just to figure out who wants what.

So now, as i wait, I pondered.... when the hell am I going to take my driving test. And I'm about this close to having a panic attack because I realize already have a schedule of social activities and work for next fall, on top of my normal class schedule.... and the friggin' term hasn't even started yet! I haven't even gone on a holiday yet (minus Chicago trip, I'm talking about home)! Holy shit!

To top it off, I realized that I seem to be spacing out more frequently than usual, and that scares me. I mean, last weekend, I managed to get the time we're leaving for Chicago wrong (thought it was 9pm instead of 6pm), I almost managed to convince myself that I didn't have to go to work because it was Saturday (no it wasn't, it was Tuesday after I got back from Chicago and I was almost late for work, thank goodness i snapped out of it in time) and I was freaking out when I did laundry because I couldn't figure out why my black top was suddenly red... until I remember I bought two colors of the same top.. one red, and one black.

And I keep forgetting stuff even though I was thinking about it 5 seconds ago.

Case 1: I was in the living room, decorating my dad's card when I wanted to get stamps from my desk for the envelope. I paused my DVD player, got up, got into my bedroom, and for the life of me couldn't remember what I wanted to get. I had to stand in my bedroom for about 10 seconds before I realize what I wanted.

Case 2: I was making a mental list that I needed to post my dad's card and print some pictures for my scrapbook. So I rummaged through my backpack for a pen, took out my notepad... then couldn't remember what I wanted to write. This soooo happened! I had to glance around my room to see if I can remember anything. Good thing I saw dad's card, it jogged my memory enough for me to remembr what I wanted to write.

Case 3: This morning, I boiled some water because I needed to make this horrible tasting tea that I need to take with some herbs mom sent me (ironically enough, it's for physical and MENTAL well-being). I haven't taken tea for quite some time now, and the medication, and it's been weeks since I used my kettle. I plugged the kettle in, went into my bedroom to straighten my bed and put some clothes on, and promptly forgot about the kettle. While that seemed normal, when I heard that whistling sound (y'know, the one that indicates the water is done?), I couldn't figure out what made the sound and when I did find the source, I couldn't remember why I boiled the water in the first place. I had to walk around the room straightening out stuff before it finally dawned on me about the tea...

I mean, I've heard of absent-mindedness, but this is freakin' ridiculous. Seriously, this is scaring the shit out of me, I mean, I've always been a teeny-weeny-itty-bitty absent minded, but I've nver had it this bad. And if you're thinking "She's remembering all the stuff that happened to her quite well, is she faking it?", rest assured that I started writing this shit at 1.30pm, and now it's 3.30pm. I had to pause and alternate this and work just so I have enough time to remember everything. Besides, I'm a girl, I have better stuff to fake.

Honestly, if anybody at all knows why the heck I'm experiencing this, lemme know, I'd love the input.

Wassalam...

Isn't this cute? Stumbled upon this when I was surfing the web to find graphics for the office's art project. Click on the picture if u wanna see more.

Assalamu'alaikum...

Man,I am beat. Spent last weekend in Illinois watching fireworks and stuff, before that I had a looooong week of work ( well I actually didn't have much to do up till Wednesday when all hell broke lose and what could go wrong, did ). Y'know what, I can even think about the weekend without feeling beat. So lemme just give the gist of it (like I did when I supposedly dished on the Midwest Games): got to UIUC, saw Tet and Elly, slept there one night, went to Evanston the next day, went to Taste of Chicago, saw a fist fight in the middle of the street, got my wits scared the heck out of me, saw fireworks that night, fireworks was nice, yadda yadda yadda, next day went shopping at outlet, saw another fireworks display in Northwestern University, that one was pretty cool too, went back to Dinna and Id's apartment, next day took picture at NU's arch, then went home, realized that half of the clothes that I brought I didn't wear, got meself a new pair of shoes and Bantut's baby-tee.

And all of this happened while I barely spoke 100 words during the whole time...

I don't get it. I mean, usually I'm notoriously shy in big crowds, I admit, but never have I ever clammed up for three days as though I'm keeping the Crown jewels in my mouth. I mean, it was just weird, I honestly couldn't think of anything to say, and seeing everyone being loud and so into the whole talking thing just scared the shit out of me. This further emphasizes my earlier observation that I function much, much better in a one-on-one conversation rather than jumping in head first into a crowd. Wonder when this started happening to me, I think I was okay when I attended matrix, I mean I was head of stuff and I participated in almost everything I could get my hands on, me in my obese state and all ( yes, I was as big as a freakin' hippo).Then I mellowed a bit when I was in PPP and here.. well let's just say that I'm more of a yes man (or girl) rather than a take-charge-you-have-to-get-your-butt-outta-the couch person. Which just shoes... if u don't practice our social skills enough, pretty soon you're gonna lose 'em.

Aaahhh... the good old days when u know exactly who you are, what you have to do and where you wanna go. Now u have OPTIONS... and you have to MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS and be an ADULT... waaaa!!! I wan my blanky and my mommy... sob sob...

Katharine (my boss) brought me to Target on Friday, and I bought 3 packets of Pepperidge Farm's Goldfish Crackers, different flavors. And right now I'm down to 1. When that one's gone, I'm gonna get real upset.

Oh, I didn't take a lotta pics when I was in Chicago, but whatever I have will be up as soon as I get my handbag back because my camera is in there. Oh, and I have a few firework video in too, so as soon as a figure out how to put it in, I will.

I need to go and get some lunch in me, so I'll just pen of here... but lemme leave you with an article about mice and diets. Click here (hopefully link works)